Monday, February 14, 2011

The Hardest Three Words To Say

Monday, February 14, 2011

Guys, I've been wanting to say this for a while now, but...[deep breath]...well, it's just never felt like the right time, you know? And now here we are, just the two of us and the Internet, and I think...no, I KNOW...that we're finally ready to take that next step.


Ok. Here goes:


Wait. That came out wrong. I mean...


Um, that is, what I'm trying to say is...

Hang on; I've almost got it...


Yeah. Something like that.


And also:

So if you see Al, be sure to let him down easy.


Of course, declarations of love are par for the course today. Not to mention stuff like this:


And this:


And even this:



Still, when it comes to love, I think Cupid says it best:

Yeah. That's like, "whoah."


Thanks to Jared, Norma W., Christine, Sarah M., Lizzie S., Franco P., Howard P., & Michael C., who actually have no idea what Cupid said because they can't stop staring at his diaper.

Or is that just me?
The Boob Nazi said...

When my sister-in-law was pregnant, my niece kept saying, "My new sister is going to be born on Balentimes Day." I would LOVE to find a cake that said that and buy it for her.

Shawn said...

Loves that the second one has a sell by date of 4/7/10. Ick!

Happy Balentines Day Cake Wrecks!

laughingmom said...

What? No "Happy V.D.?" The STD's of the world feel neglected!

Tricia L said...

What I find most disturbing about #5 is that the "I (extremely oversized heart) you" was put on BEFORE they let go with the silly string. The border is on top of the "you". And you can see where they traced the heart in the icing before adding the piping ... off centered. And they couldn't figure out what to do with that random bit of pink that fell inside the heart. (head-desk)

Gary said...

Well, I loe you, too.
Happy Balentine's day to Jen, John, Number One, and all the Cake Wrecks readers.

Jules ♂ ♪ said...

Is it that tine of the year already?

pikkewyntjie said...

I think the person who wrote "Be By Valentine" had a cold.

I'm surprised there's not one for Valentimes Day. You know, the holiday in the middle of Febuary.

pikkewyntjie said...

I have to post this WV: inishal

Coming soon to a wrecked cake near you:

Happy Birtday Jay Jay (don't write the name, just the inishals)

Lady Anne said...

Our youngest daughter always pronounced it ValenTIME's Day. Of course, she also had a friend named Donamick.

Ellen said...

The "Be By Valentine" cake made this pop into my brain:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_Y6UKMp8Qw

Bicky Bi Bo Bu! :)


wv: yeress

Yeress will be gress if you give one of these cakes to your sweetheart!

scrapopotamos said...

Sadly, I looked at teh first one for almost a full minute before I realized why it was a wreck. It almost seemed like just a regular cake.... Then the spelling hit me!

Doh! {in best Homer Simpson impersonation}

FormerDominator said...

Um, does that last one say "Be Mines"? Because I think it does.

Fluffy Cow said...

I tore myself away from the diaper to see the "be mines".

sad.

Anonymous said...

When I was growing up in Brooklyn (many,many decades ago,) my Dad celebrated Balentine's Day, every afternoon after work.
I prefer Coors'

Sandy C also in SoFla said...

Those "I Loe You" cakes made me say, "hu?" I mean, to misspell once, maybe. but 3x? Maybe these are for the people who just are unable to say the "L" word.

Thank you, wreckporters, for your covert and awesome work. Too bad we cannot know the names of the stores.....

The Restaurant Manager said...

This might be by favorite blog of the day!

Anonymous said...

I think bakers have started wrecking their displays on purpose. They must be competing to see who can get on Cake Wrecks first. -K

T said...

all these commitment-phobic wreckies need to go to therapy...

and I'm not mentioning culinary school... because that would ruin my fun.

Jasry said...

Also, Cupid appears to be shooting himself, as the bow is piped on backwards. Well, I guess even Cupid needs love too. And a diaper change.
Happy St. Valentine's Day Massacre Day, y'all! ;-)

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday, Gwynn Valentine!

The fourth cake down (for "al") is more than a pound of love.

L.A.C.E. said...

bahahaha!! Laughingmom someone on my FB actually put Happy VD in their status and I was so tempted to reply lol

as for the cakes. they murdered that poor heart cookie w/ all that icing

Momcat said...

Cake #5: You give me heartworms?
wv: jumsess - When he gives her chocolates, she jumsess bones!

Anonymous said...

No Happy Valentime's Day. I'm so disappointed.

Loo-E Loo-I said...

Cake 1: Well at least they were following the rule "I before E except after C".

Cake 2: Yeah. "Marketfresh Quality Everyday" my a$$. Good eye Shawn!

Cake 3: Balentine's? Is this for people that hate Valentine's day?

Cake 4: Too bad, al.

Cake 5: you 'heart' I. It's like a command - probably for the "Overly-possessive" Valentine.

Cake 6: Ok, they misspelled "Love" - could've been an acronym for Lack Of Effort. Did anyone notice the "mulch" frosting? Or that they basically dumped a fruit-cup on top of the other cakes?

Cake 7: Be By? Mix this cake with #3 and you have "talk with the letter B" day.

Cake 8: Oh, it's the Cupid Gollum. Be mines precious!

wv: crearier. Cupid's diaper is going up his crearier.

Megan said...

Pretty sure the diaper looks like it is leaking out the top. Ewwwww! :)

Amauriel said...

That third one (Happy Balentine) might be Japanese. They don't have the sound of V in their alphabet at all, so they replace it with B. When I was there, it took some getting used to when I heard kids say they wanted to play Bolleyball.

It's also considered cool there to celebrate "American" holidays with English writing.

Sandy C also in SoFla said...

"Cupid Gollum" I LOVE IT!! roflmho

unseeliepixie said...

I'm sure that next to last cookie cake was simply a case of the request being put in with someone with a severe case of congestion. Easy mistake... ;)

Anonymous said...

One has to wonder what is happening to the educational system in this country. Horrible grammar and spelling!!!! I mean who misspells love 3 times?? And "Be Mines"? It's Be Mine... learn to speak correctly people. Okay time for my coffee and chocolate before I get even more grouchy!

lisagems said...

Happy Decapitated Catholic Saint Day.

Craig said...

#7 I could buy the 'cold' theory if it said, 'Be By Valedtide.'

#8 Cupid stopped by the armory and upgraded to a recurve bow with pulleys. He grabbed some mines, too -- dude's getting serious. Either that, or the wreckerator was listening to Ted Nugent while working...

Anonymous said...

OMG, that cupid has me giggling like a nitwit at my desk, I'm so mature!

Leslie said...

AHAHAHA! Love it, lisagems!

Anna said...

Okay that cupid one looks like a diaper thong...just saying...

Anonymous said...

BWAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG you crack me up. that's sooo hilarious!

-annaliza

Jen said...

@ Anony 11:53 - I just added a "Valentimes" wreck to the post, just for you. ;)

funny jokes funny said...

life can be seriously so funny i never think

msyendor said...

Whoa. Cupid. front-loaded thong diaper. So wrong.

wv: potyptsh = the sound of a certain clogged drain

RU said...

Nope, it's not just you.

But it "depends" on who you ask.

Ginger said...

Thanks for adding the "Valentime's Day" cake! Both my girls (6 and 4) insist that that's what it is -- and create their holiday cards to suit. (Future wreckerators, I'm sure.) So it's a perfect Valentime's Day here, just right for my 4-year-old's favorite dessert, chocolate chip "tookies."

Anonymous said...

There is a Valentime's--it's the third one down. The "al" is just a cursive I...

Donna said...

Is "Loe You" short hand for "loathe you"? Just askin...

Happy VD!!! :O)

Anonymous said...

I have a whisky lovin' friend who celebrates Ballentine's Day today. I did a double take when I saw his first post about it.

Rawhide Almond Maché said...

Is anyone else thinking, "Vamlumtimes is serious times!"?

Anonymous said...

and then I misspelled Ballantine's
http://www.whisky.com/brands/ballantines.html

Anonymous said...

My mother ordered a cake for my sister-in-law, Cris, at a local Safeway bakery. On the order ticket, my mother wrote, "Happy Birthday Cris!"...and then, in parentheses:(No "h"), as her name had no "h" in it. The finished cake read exactly:

Happy Birthday Chris!
(No "h")

Naturally we took the cake, as is, with a smile on our face.

Keb'n said...

Did you know that your book was featured prominently on The Graham Norton show on BBC America this week. Kate Hudson loved it so much he gave it to her! And they showed lotsa pics.

Jennifer said...

Ah, dang. Gary beat me to it. That was the first thing I thought about the "Loe you" cakes. It felt somehow right, like a Ghostbusters 2 quote would be appropriate for this entry. Can't imagine why, though...

wv: Calga. "Calga, take me away from these wrecks!"

MissNay said...

my verification word is kisfonqu which is, as we all know, an anti-kiss form of martial arts.

Arlene said...

At least this year no one got a happy vd heart lmao. Or herpes. But that last cake would either give someone a major sugar rush or death by laughing hysterically at that cupid. Scary and hilarious cakes.

Anonymous said...

Some of the cakes were cute, too bad about the misspellings

Glasgow Cakes said...

Can't stop laughing at "Al [heart] you".

widogmom said...

Be By Valentine? See, I knew if Cupid kept flying around half-naked in February, he'd catch a cold.

Anonymous said...

Can I celebrate Balentine's Day instead of Valentine's Day?

http://www.thecinemasource.com/moviesdb/images/Christian_Bale%20-%201%20-%20Rescue_Dawn.jpg

:) Kyla