Thursday, October 1, 2009

Adowable Widdle Wrecks

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Sometimes I see cakes that are so undeniably Wrecky that I'm almost ashamed of myself for thinking they're cute. I'm not sure how such a thing is possible, either - are they flukes? Slips of the piping bags? The inevitable result of a million Wreckerators working on a million cupcakes? The world may never know. Or care.

Who's a cute widdle turd!?

Sure, it may look like a pile of poo on the banks of the Jungle Cruise*, but it's actually supposed to be a cat. Or maybe a lion. With a monkey tail. Regardless, see how the decorator compels us to overlook its blatant turdiness with his/her skillful application of puppy...cat eyes?

* Explanation for Non-Disney Geeks - See, the water on the Jungle Cruise ride at Disney is often dyed a shocking shade of blue-green. I think you have to be decontaminated if you fall in.**

**Follow-up from Jen: Puh-lease, "decontaminated"? It's just a little tetanus shot.


This next one makes use of the "two-cupcakes-drowning-in-icing-on-an-oversized-cakeboard" approach:

See? It's a cow. Or maybe ground beef. ("What do you call a cow with no legs, Alex?") Or Beef Stroganoff. ("A cow with noodles for legs?")

How can I tell it's a cow, and not a spotted dog with an awesome bouffant 'do sitting on a robot*? By reading the "moo" in the barren desert of cake board, that's how. [tapping temple] Skills. I gots 'em.

*Picture the nostrils as eyes for a minute - you'll see it. (Note: alcohol helps.)

Here's another one, fortified with rich, healthy irony:

An embarrassed skunk letting out a little toot, or a Wreckerator letting out a little workplace aggression? More importantly: which makes you hungrier?

Next is a real fluke; it's both the Wreckiest and the cutest cake for today:

A Wreckerator sets out to make a frog and ends up with a sloppy cross-eyed face with jowls, and yet it's still adorable? Now that's luck. (Dig the candle horns.)

And finally we have what appears to be a cross between a mutant rubber ducky and Angelina Jolie:

Sorry, sorry; I know that's kind of mean. I shouldn't malign rubber duckies like that.


Thanks to Wreckporters Tim, Megan, Kristi M., Leigh S., and Linden S.!

- Related Wreckage: Hello, Kitty?

TOUR REMINDER: Hey, Chicago! Come see Jen and John tonight at the Barnes & Noble in Skokie (the Old Orchard Cener) at 7:30PM. It'll be fun. Promise.
Wide Awake Wife said...

My mom got my girls a 2 cupcakes drowing in icing "cake" that looked like a dog. Why bother with cake at all at this point? My girls would have liked it better if it was just a mountain of icing. Neither one of them touched the cupcake.

http://www.mysleepinghusband.com

Tigerwolf said...

Who's a cute widdle turd!?

Dang it, Jen, how am I supposed to explain to my boss the coffee spray all over my monitor this time?!?

Über-Disney Geek reminds you that John Lasseter got his Disney career start as a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise!

^..^

WV: matubs. "I needed six of matubs of maicing to frost macupcakes!"

Debbie said...

I actually think the cow cake is really, really cute. Slightly wrecky, but well, we've definitely seen worse on this site.

Amymusings said...

Who orders a cake with a chicken that has lips!!!

Obviously something was lost in translation....

Gina said...

The first one looks more like an otter than a cat or lion. And why would a cat be sitting next to a river of sorts?

Lisa @ Another Day Today said...

LOL @ Angelina Duckie! They should have included a pile of assorted baby rubber duckies trailing along behind.

Yeah, I know...I'm mean too.

Taylor@MyOlderBrothers said...

I wonder if anyone before today has typed the words "Who's a cute widdle turd!?"

That seems like a pretty specific phrase.

Liz said...

Jen, I'm loving* the use of astricks in this post!!!

*far too many in one day for me count! :-)

Let us know when you're visiting the UK!

Galadriel said...

Even bakers should know that no one wants to eat downer cows.

Jasini said...

Rubber ducky, you're the one
You make bath time lots of fun . . .

Holle said...

Hmm... the skunk looks suspiciously like a white kitty in a Batman mask.

Southern Gal said...

The first one is definitely a beaver. I mean it's got a wide tail and is next to water. Gotta be it.

Tauna said...

Oh my gosh!!! I am so glad I'm at home this morning! I busted out laughing so loud at the rubber ducky/Angelina Jolie cake that I think my neighbors probably heard me!!!

High Five girlfriend!!!

Kelly said...

Eww! I stepped in monkey/kitten/lion cute and it's stuck to the bottom of my shoes! I'll just rinse them off in the toxic water.

The cow reminds me of Bambi's first steps. Only icingier.

At least the skunk has the grace to look embarrassed - he's even blushing.

Isn't the next one one of those aliens from "The Claw" from Toy Story?

Angelina-rubber-ducky? Fabulous!

WV: ismindw - Was this your cake? You shouldn't have walked away; ismindw!

Terry Lee said...

the little stinky skunky is kinda cute.

the last one just quacks me up. who knew ducks had lips ... never mind collagen-injected ones. wonder if the doctor just put it on his bill?

waddle happen next? liposuction?

Melonie said...

Is it just me, or did anyone else look at the first one and see a cuddly scorpion? The way it was all brown and that tail curled up behind, as if it's about to strike? No? Okay then.

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

I love the cute cow with barren desert (dessert? ha!) expanse of board.

I don't even recycle really, but the amount of plastic they put into the box holding the skunk offends me. It's two cupcakes for earth's sake and it gets fifty pounds of plastic wasted on it! Sheesh.

Anonymous said...

The Ducky looks more like Nadya Suleman to me!

OCTODUCK?

Cathie said...

Wait, wait, wait. There are people who don't know what the Jungle Cruise is?!

Silvergoth said...

Spidercow, spidercow!
Tries to walk, but he don't know how.

Becky said...

Melonie, I saw a scorpion in the first one, too! A very cuddly-faced scorpion, of course.

And thanks for making me spit out my coffee on my keyboard as I got to the rubby ducky with Angelina Jolie lips!

Adnoxious said...

I find it a bit disturbing the way the cow is sort of... um... straddling the cake.

adnoxious.blogspot.com

Mira8 said...

ooh, my favorite website does a snark on Angelina, this day is looking better already. :)

p.s. and LOL on "spidercow" comment too!

Natalie said...

Haha, I love the cow one!

Penny Hubcap said...

Hm... fluffy and big eyes = cute even in the cake world.

Maria said...

This insanely-grinning frog with candle horns just made my day! But, its tongue is missing!!!

Seansmoma said...

My three year old was sitting with me while I was reading your blog. When I got to the "Cow" cake he said.

"That cat looks like a monster."

That is all . . . .

Em said...

Am I the only one who would be really happy to get the little green cake for my birthday? I was thinking he was just a cute monster.

P.S. Love the blog! I'm in Japan right now where everything is cute so wreckporting is hard. This site actually makes me miss Wal-Mart hehe.

Miss Daphne said...

OK why would anyone pay $9.99 for the rubber Angelina Jolie *charactor* cake?? What an insult!

Chris Colohan said...

On my first glimpse of the rubber duck, I saw two big flaming horns coming out of the top.

I then started thinking of how you could route tubes from a propane canister through a cake to the top of it to make giant flaming "candles" for dramatic effect. Perhaps mixed with tubes routing dry-ice smoke...

But alas, there are no horns. It was simply a reflection which confused my eye.

Veggiet said...

Do I detect a little Sarcasm? Wow, That's Original! (hehehe)

Cath said...

BTW Did you know you are featured in The Sun newspaper today?
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/2662883/Bungling-bakers-are-shamed.html

P.S. I know you are stickler for grammar so I hope you won't mind me pointing out that you spelt "its" wrongly!

altar ego said...

You did mean "wubber ducky," didn't you? No? More alcohol then, although I, too, lost what was left of my coffee by hooking up the duck with Angelina, frostiest cupcake this side of screendom.

Hungarican Chick said...

ANGELINA JOLIE! ROFL LOL LOL ROFL

::pauses to wipe a tear::

ROFL LOL LOL ROFL

Amy said...

These are the best! "Ground" beef! ROFL

~Amy B

Galadriel said...

Interesting. Google Reader shows me that this entry was posted by John, but I saw all the comments directed at Jen and was perplexed. I looked on the entry itself; I can't find anything ON Cakewrecks that shows who posted it.

Jessica W said...

Several years ago we were doing the canoe "ride" at Disneyland. Now I say "ride" because it isn't one, there is no track and they actually expect you to paddle around that whole dang island yourself... anyways.. at one point the Cast Member calls out to the kids in the back "Do NOT splash each other. The water is green for a reason and you do NOT want that Reason on you!"

Keeley said...

Now we need an irony font as well as a sarcasm font.

Good post John, "I really mean that".

Viewtiful_Justin said...

I'm SO going to be with you guys in Skokie tonight! I'm more excited than I have any right to be.

Melinda said...

I always heard the joke that beef stroganoff was a herd of cattle...um...uh...trying to keep this joke family friendly. Maybe it was noodles for legs after all. ;)

Brenda said...

Ummm are you aware this blog steals your posts:
http://www.uk.search4eat.com/2009/10/01/adowable-widdle-wrecks/

lisadh said...

I'm seeing a squirrel on the first one. Hammie, anyone?

Giusi. said...

FLMAOOOOOOOOOOO!!! angelina jolie HAhaha omg you crack me up! LOL

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Cath,

DANG IT!!!!!

You got me. I read over this like 15 times and didn't catch it. It was buried in the middle.

But that's what you get when I write posts.

john

Anonymous said...

What do you call a cow with no legs?

It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

Ed Venture, who is too lazy to register

Stella said...

uhm that poor cow is humping the plate it's on...and the lippy duckyangelina thingy is just too >a loss of words<

Rollaine said...

The green face is perhaps an alien, as in Little Green Man from Mars. The candles look like antennas to me (what's plural of antenna?) Probably someone's already said this, but I'm short on time and can't read all the comments right now. Although I wish I could.

Alyson said...

About the "rubber duck", my 7YO son said, "What is it, a chicken on top of a merry-go-round?"

psyche said...

the "skunk" reminds me of nibbler from futurama, which ups his cute factor by about 10 for me :)

Etiquette Bitch said...

on the last CW -- "character cakes"? What character is that? That little duck from the old Tom + Jerry cartoons with the ducky-sounding voice?

Can't wait to see you guys tonight!

Harlem's A Hatin said...

These cakes are awesome, so funny. My mom used to make Strawberry Shortcake and Garfield looking cakes when I was little!

I just started my blog a week ago. Check it out and let me know what you think. Any advice you could give me would be awesome as I am new to this whole world. I am still trying to figure out how to "advertise" it.

http://harlemshaterade.blogspot.com

Captain Cleavage said...

ahhhh the jungle cruise water! as a former jungel cruise skipper I would like to point out that the tetnis shot you have to get when falling ihas nothing to do with the dye...but with the large amount of animal and human fecal matter (i.e. baby diapers tossed overboard) that end up in the river on a daily basis...daily.

And on another interesting note...the dye actually starts out a deep purple and it added to the water via scwitzer falls...which is why the jungle looks very foamy on water color day :)

Karen Valinda said...

I had my suspicions but at the end I read:"posted by john (the hubby of JEN) at 9:30 AM on Oct 1, 2009" and knew it was a 'guest' poster...
My 16 yr old took one look at the "turd" and said,"It's a lemur! Why else would it be in a jungle?!?"

Anna Kauz said...

Hahaha, I totally know what you mean about the Jungle Cruise!

WATERBABY CHRISTINE said...

Perhaps that green one isn't supposed to be a frog after all. It's a horny toad.

wv: resca
Someone call the SPCA to come resca these poor critters!

Anonymous said...

I used to be a jungle cruise skipper as well - and one rainy day, I slipped on the dock and fell in, between the boat and the dock! Luckily, since it was less than 50% of my body that fell in (just my leg and arm on my left side), I did not need to get the tetnus shot. I only had 30 mins left of my shift, and was hoping they would just send me home. Nope, they sent me all the way back to change into a new costume! I love Disney stuff, but the managers are EVIL!
-Amy

Anonymous said...

Adowable?
buh dum bump?
announcer voice?

is it just me?

Elizabeth said...

I hope no one forked over the 9.99 for that duck!

agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com

Eileen said...

You mean the water color isn't natural?? "and now you will see what very few have seen before...the backside of water!"

Anonymous said...

HAAA!!!!

Holding my nose to keep from snorting at my desk!!

Annnnd, it did take me a minute to figure out why you were picking on me about the cow...
Because my mom is named Elsie?
Because I grew up in Alabama?
Because I ate steak last night?
Hahahaha!

Alex :)

ZebraBelly: said...

Got to run, so PLEASE forgive me not reading all the comments just in case this is old news now, but I have had a Disney Official (i.e. the guy driving the Storybook Land boat) tell us that all you have to do if you fall in the water there is wait for it to dry and then peel it off. See? Easy Peasy. And I suppose it would count as an extra souvenir.

Marylutn said...

LLLOOOLLLL at the first part of the comment about Angelina Jolie. Don't know why, just did. :D
Marylu

Bookworm said...

The skunk and the frog were actually pretty adorable...

SyracuseWolvrine said...

Yes, but the bottom side of water is far more interesting than the backside of water. (and, yes, there is a place on Disney property that gives you an excellent view of the bottom side of water ... drive past the TTC parking lot, just before you get to the Toaster, you'll go completely underwater for about 1 1/2 seconds)

Haiku Joy said...

There's enough bouffant
On those bovine hips to squish
Any robot flat.

wv: derspi. Derspi the last time I tell you to stay outta my cake.

Angie said...

Maybe I'm just tired, but I'm absolutely dyin' with laughter over the skunk wreck.

And it's hard to laugh quietly (so as not to wake sleeping children) when something's that funny. It really is.

I love this blog.

Elizabeth said...

Hi, Cake Wrecks is getting some coverage in Oz!

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/glance/870259/dodgy-bakers-exposed-on-blog

World tour time? (Please!)

Laylah said...

Are you sure that the frog one isn't actually an alien? That's kind of the vibe I get with the candle placement maybe being antennae.

Joseph said...

Awwww... that poor duck was, um, "born" that way.... Er, rather baked I know. It's not her fault she has horrendous lips, which ducks dont have anyways...

Actually, kinda looks like a cross between a chicken and the cat lady of the batman posts, now that I think of it. (shivers) Scary. Either way, brava. Brava.

Hannah said...

You know how they have that blue-green water at mini golf places too? Well apparently this post brought back some latent memories of my childhood, because I am now remembering my mother telling me and my sisters that if we fell in (we were a boisterous bunch) that she wouldn't help us out and we would get skin diseases. Thanks, Mom.

Anonymous said...

haha i love the Princess Bride!!

Lori said...

I'm pretty sure that green one is supposed to be an alien, not a frog!

Rachel said...

gotta say i'm drunk right now, and I am NOT seeing it

Laura said...

Silly person! Everyone knows that beef stroganoff is what you call a MASTURBATING cow1

Susanna King said...

My 3-year-old just pointed to the picture of the "frog" and said "I think it's supposed to be a horse because it has all those feathers."

morninglory kitsch said...

Literal tears and bellyache from laughing at the entry about the jungle cruise cake. thanks for making my week! it's been a rough one.