Going to the Dogs, Continued

As promised, today's parade of cakey canines features the icing-drowned cupcake pups, which in my opinion ride dangerously close to the whole cupcake-cake-concept, and are therefore worthy of all the condemnation we can heap on them. But, I digress.

First up, a creation that looks more like a doggy end-product than a dog:


That's the side view. If you're thinking it will be more recognizable from the front...


Think again. Oh, and don't you love all the effort put into decorating the cake board? Somebody's shootin' for the stars.



This one's not bad, other than the fact that it's neon pink, worried-looking, and apparently vomiting sprinkles. Huh. Come to think of it, that last bit might explain the first two issues (although then neon green would be more appropriate).


Here's my favorite: the pooch's face has slid completely off his head and onto the board! I'm guessing the decorator added those paw prints after a few customers asked why the store was selling misshapen icing ploops on a board. (Yes, "ploops". I find it to be an apt description.)

Now there's a face only a mother could love. (And only a decorator could recognize, for that matter. Seriously, would you know this thing was supposed to be a dog?)


Thanks to Wreck-Wranglers Megan S., P.R., and Kristin!

Media Bullseye Interview

Hey Everyone!

Hard as this is to believe, I was asked recently to do another interview - this time a short n' sweet Five Questions segment over on Media Bullseye. Click here to check it out.

If you do read the interview, though, don't let my number of submissions stop you from sending in your own Wreck photos. Believe me, I can never have too many Wrecks, so keep 'em comin'! And thanks to all of you for helping to make Cake Wrecks such a success: you guys continue to amaze me with your general awesomeness.

Y'all wreck on now, y'hear?

- Jen

Going to the Dogs

For some reason canine cakes seem to be all the rage these days, particularly in grocery-store bakeries. Now, I don't want to get down on these decorators too much, considering that a) they are usually over-worked and under-trained, and b) they outnumber me significantly. That said, you'd think that whoever was in charge of this kind of thing would have known that these doggy designs were a little, shall we say, beyond this group's collective skill set?

For example, here's the picture you order from:



And here's what you get:


Niiice. See, you can tell it's the exact same cake you ordered, 'cuz it has that red loopy bow sticking out of its head. I particularly like the oozing eye. Plus, that red "collar" looks a lot more like a gushing cranial wound - ditto for the "tongue".

I guess this one's a little better:


But it still looks more like a dirty mop-head with a face drawn on than a dog. Where are the legs? The ears? The neck? Also, if you're going to have a cake like this, why oh why would you stick candles in the poor pooch's back? He looks like he's been the target of sky-diving archers.


Also in vogue are the tiny cupcake pups, ala Miss Love-You-1.000-Time. These are already wrecktastic in concept, given that there are only 2 cupcakes underneath the deluge of frosting, but the execution just makes 'em that much better. Check back tomorrow for those; this post is officially "to be continued"!


Many thanks to Fawn R. & Monique R. for submitting the "dogs".

Sunday Sweets to Make Henson Proud

I have a huge statue of Kermit the Frog occupying the corner of my desk. It has light-up fireflies behind Kermit and plays the Rainbow Connection. I love it.

I mention this by way of introduction to today's featured NON-Wreck, made by Heather Haynes of Clarksville, Indiana:


Yes, it's all the characters from the Muppet Show, modeled in fondant, on cake.

Awesomeness.



The Electric Mayhem is looking mighty groovy.

And I love Camilla the chicken. Say, have I mentioned that my hubby John does a fantastic Swedish Chef impersonation? Seriously. If you ever meet him, ask him to say "Bork bork bork" for you. It's downright uncanny.

Of course a Muppet Show cake would never be complete without their in-house peanut gallery, Statler and Waldorf. Still, I'm guessing even those two curmudgeons wouldn't find a thing to complain about on this sweet creation.

I don't have any info on baker Heather; I only know this cake won the blue ribbon at the 2007 Kentucky State Fair. If anyone has more info or a website for her, be sure to let me know.

Also, there's a nice slide show of these and more photos here. Thanks to all of you readers who sent in the link!

Adding Insult to Injury

Poor Roxy. Not only did she have a sprained wrist on her birthday, but the cookie cake her friend Sarah purchased to cheer her up looked like...well, this:


Apparently this cookie place has a strict one-do-over-per-cookie policy, so "happy" was scraped off and redone, but "birtday" was left as is. That yellow powdery pile in a vaguely star-like shape is a nice addition, though.

Roxy, I'm not sure if you're giving this Wreck the thumbs up or if your injury prevents you from giving it the finger, but either way I hope a little cakey fame will help heal the hurts. Plus, I suppose it could've been worse: you might have received a Wreck while in the hospital.

The Great Cupcake Cake Debate Continues

Wow.

Apparently last week's post in which I 'fessed up to my cupcake cake aversion hit a nerve. Or, a hundred nerves. Yep, my inbox has been inundated with e-mails both defending the hapless creation and joining me on the side of decency and real cakes.

(And just to be clear: I have no problems with cupcakes. C'mon: mini cakes you don't have to share? What's not to like? No, it's only when you cram a bunch of them together and slop on a gallon of icing to make a smooth surface that my eyelid begins to twitch uncontrollably. Ok? So, to sum up: cupcakes good, cupcake cakes baaaad.)

The best part about all this public outcry, however, are the photos you guys have sent in supposed "defense" of cupcake cakes. Many of them are so bad I can only hope you guys are being sarcastic, 'cuz if not, daaaang.

An example:



If this looks familiar, it should: it's what the Ojai cupcake cake was supposed to look like. However, looking at it you can see that Ojai actually wasn't that far off the mark; I guess "shiny poo souffle" must be on the spec sheet.

Then there's this one:

Which I don't think is professionally done, but I am assured is still a "good" CCC.

These baffling creations, however, are professionally made:


But I don't get it. I guess the mounds made into animals are the cupcakes? Considering how messy that would be to serve, though, why not go with a real cake? Plus, that only serves 9 I'll-just-have-a-tiny-piece people, or 3 kids - which is hardly worth the effort.

And here a decorator traded in the neon french fries for a bad airbrush job:


Now granted, these are not the worst cupcake cakes I've seen - not by a long shot - but keep in mind that all of the above were sent in as examples of "good" cupcake cakes, people. As in, seeing these should make me change my mind and start liking CCCs. This goes to show two things:

1) Readers L.G., Callie C., Michelle M., and Valerie M. are sweet people who undoubtedly see the best in everyone, and

2) anything e-mailed to Cake Wrecks is fair game. Just sayin'.


The CCC indecency is spreading, too: check out this article in a recent issue of Family Fun sent in by Jess T. & Kelli:

"An easier way to decorate cupcakes"?!? That thing looks more like a radioactive zombie cloud than a pumpkin!

Of course now I know I have to throw some "good" cupcakes cake examples in here, if for no other reason than to prevent another tidal wave of angry pro-CCC e-mails. Let's see here...

Well, due to the confusion over whether or not I was vilifying all cupcakes, about a billion of you sent in these iPhone cupcakes:

Which are cute, but don't count; they're separate cakes and therefore Jen-approved.

Ok, we still need a "good" cupcake cake. (Yes, the "good" will always be in quotation marks.)
Hm. Ah, here ya go:

There's the ticket: draw the design inside the edges, thereby avoiding the scalloped look. Bravo, Carrie S.; you found a "good" one!

And Katie S.'s is still scalloped, but nicely done:


So there are two exceptions that prove the rule. I still maintain, however, that anything a cupcake cake can do:



A real cake can do better:

Originally uploaded here.

;)

The floor is now open. Discuss.

Any Occasion Will Do

I'm the type who thinks cakes are good for any occasion. Apparently, so are the people who ordered these:



After all, how often do you get to congratulate someone on "completeing" their jail sentence?

Wow, that often? Ok, never mind.

(Say, are those orange things supposed to be flowers or carrots? Either way, I'd be sorely tempted to stick some plastic babies on them.)


Alright, for those of you who are being congratulated: make sure you always thank the ones with the fat checkbooks.


Yay appropriate quotation marks! And thank goodness the decorator didn't choose to take a more literal approach to a cake celebrating potty-training.




Pete and Pete's lady, this one's for you:

Frozen peas only go so far,
So Ladies, here's a tip:
Be sure to buy your man a cake
When he gets the ol' snip-snip!

Yeah, I know: I missed my calling as a traveling troubadour.


Thanks to Wreckporters Monique R., Kyla S., and Stephanie P.!

Also, in the interests of full disclosure: the Bail cake was a gag. The others are legit, as far as I know.

My Youngest Wreckporter

"Now let's kick it over to our newest Wrecks correspondent Violet, who is currently on location at her sister Ruby's third birthday party. Violet?"

"Jen, I'm sitting here in witness to the worst Wreck I've seen in my admittedly young life. Take a look at the disaster area left behind by what could only be called a Disney Princess Explosion.

"As you can see, there is airbrushing, hearts, garland, blobbular "rosebuds", and green leaves growing UP the "waterfall" - not to mention the fact that you have to clear off all the toys before you can even cut the thing! And don't get me started on those three '3' candles - I may only be 10 months old, but even I know that math doesn't add up."

"Wow, Violet, isn't that kind of harsh? I mean, the colors are pretty."

"Pretty? Pretty?!? Obviously you aren't seeing the matching Princess plates, napkins, cups, giftwrap... Do you see this hat I'm wearing, Jen?"



"I think it's Tinkerbell."

"No, it's a representation of the blatant over-commercialization that is running rampant in our society, that's what it is. Would you like to hear my dissertation on the breaking down of social conventions by the media barons?"

"Oh, look at the time! Sorry Violet, but we need to wrap this up."

"No problem; time for my nap anyway. Hey, Mom! Guess who needs a fresh diaper? Eh? Hey, what is that? Oh heck no, I am NOT wearing a Princess themed diaper! No, absolutely not! You're making a mockery of my beliefs, woman! Get that away from me!"

"That was Violet, my youngest Wreckporter, folks!"


Cassie F. (aka Mom), don't worry; she'll love that hat by the time she turns 3.