Thursday, October 22, 2009

Recipes for Wreckage

Thursday, October 22, 2009

You know you're asking for a Wreck when...


...your college has the initials "CNU" and the family member who orders has a strong southern accent:



...you use any kind of shorthand on the order form:



...the color of icing you ask for could also be a proper name:

(For a double birthday party. At least both ladies were equally snubbed!)


...you use the words "camo" AND "army" while describing what you want:


Many thanks to today's dedicated Wreckporters: Allie, Colin M., Ryan B., & Barb B.!

- Related Wreckage: Undeserving of Congrats

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

"World" "Domination" Tour Back on Track!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Time to clear your schedule and start planning out those cupcake Wreckplicas, faithful henchpersons; I have tour dates to announce!!


The events will be set up the same as before, meaning there will be free cake provided by local bakeries, a fun slide show hosted by yours truly and John, a Q&A time, and of course the Wreckplica contest, complete with fabulous prizes.

To help us know how much cake and space we'll need, please RSVP if you think you'll be able to attend by clicking on the appropriate city name below.

Thanks, and see some of you soon!

Kansas City

(technically Overland Park, KS)
Barnes & Noble
Monday, Nov 2nd, 6PM

New York
(Greenwich Village)
Barnes & Noble
Tuesday, Nov 3rd, 7:30PM

Bethesda, MD

Barnes & Noble
Thursday, Nov 5th, 7PM

Boston, MA

(Framingham)
Barnes & Noble
Sunday, Nov 8th, 2PM

Atlanta, GA
(Buckhead)
Barnes & Noble
Monday, Nov 9th, 7PM

Bride/Baker Communication 101

Most brides think that bringing in a photo of their dream wedding cake will help clarify for their bakers what it is that they want and expect on their big day.

[shaking head] Those sweet, silly girls.


In reality, these photos are more like "guidelines." A springboard, if you will, from which the baker may or may not spring - and then into heretofore unheard-of realms of artistic "expression."

Perhaps some examples will help.

Bride Laurie S. asked for this cake, only in ivory and with blue flowers instead of white:

(Photo & cake by Martha Stewart)
Instead, she got this:

"It's boxy, and it's blue and white. What more do you want?"

Kirstie also wanted a cascading floral design, like this:


Which her baker recreated pretty well, except for one key detail:

S/he used real flowers instead of sugar ones.

Once the petals shriveled, Kirstie's cake design became less "cascading flowers" and more "attacking butterflies." Which isn't horrible, I suppose, but it is kind of hard to resist the urge to flap your arms and shoo them off.

(Note: The silver thing is their topper, which the baker laid flat instead of standing up. Or maybe the butterflies just knocked it over. :D)

Sharon L. wanted this gorgeous topsy-turvy design:

(Made by Lisa's Creative Cakes - and I totally want one.)

...only in 3 tiers and using her colors of fuchsia, orange, and lime.

Her baker's interpretation?

Remember that springboard I mentioned? Well, some are a LOT springier than others.


And finally, this bride wanted her seashell-themed cake to rise to new heights:


Instead, she got one that was apparently dropped from great heights:

Think it was served with a pancake dinner?

[snicker]


- Related Wreckage: Love is in the Air...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Oh, It Sends a Message Alright

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The label on this says it's a "message cookie":


Now, I'm just ballparking here, but I think the message might be something along the lines of:

"When I think of you, I think of bug-infested poop. And football. Because I hate football."

Gee, at this point, why not just cut to the chase?

"The Message Cookie: When you hate enough to actually spend money on more clearly expressing your hatred."


Remember, E.M., if you're ever offered a poo-spotted football cake, the proper response is: "Thanks, but I think I'll pass."


- Related Wreckage: Graduate! Celebrate! "Decorate!"

Monday, October 19, 2009

Sideshow Slideshow

Monday, October 19, 2009

(Yeah, just try saying that three times fast.)

Step right up, folks! Witness the stupendous, astounding, incomprehensibly incomprehensible, Freak Animal Mutations Only a Baker Could Create!

First, feast your eyes on a spectacle n'er before seen this side of Pooville...

The crappily conjoined cupcake kitties!
Yessir, there's nuthin' like a few fecal felines to show a baker's "anything goes" attitude - especially when they number two. [smirk]

Well it looks like a frog, but I detect some monkey business.


"Walk the dog"? Looks more like "Scrape the Sidewalk."

And don't you love it when Wrecks are so unrecognizable that the bakers have to write us little clues on the cake board? I think I'll have to do a whole post on those soon...

Oh, but first, remember that kiddy song "Do Your Ears Hang Low?"

meeyOW.


Ok, last one - just for the "shell" of it:


"Dude, I used to have nightmares about a turtle that looked exactly like this when I was little."

"But that was a long time ago. How can you be sure?"

"Turtle recall."


Thanks to Wreckporters Sarah P., Melissa T., Meredith, Kristin C., & Ed P.!

- Related Wreckage: Blame Decopac