Friday, October 23, 2009

When Wreckerators Take the Fall

Friday, October 23, 2009

I may be sitting here with the A/C cranked in the southern swamp affectionately known as "Florida", but I have a feeling that Fall will be here soon. And lest we have any doubts, some bakeries have taken to posting helpful weather updates on their cakes:

Next week they're debuting "Bring a jacket; you'll catch your death in this chill."

I can't really tell if that's a threat or a promise, though. Sure, the pumpkins and cherries look happy, but those tree claws seem rather ominous. [shiver]


Fall, of course, is known for its colorful foliage.

We don't have any of that in Florida. (Pine cone pile, anyone?)

That's ok, though; with cakes like these, I don't think I'm missing all that "mulch":


Ah, you don't often see this level of technique used! You see, dragging a knife through icing takes confidence, a steady hand, and the kind of technical know-how that knows exactly which end is the pointy one. [nodding seriously]

Still, no matter how you slice it, those skills pale in comparison to this...

...feather? Spear?Long-necked snail? Worm in a hat? Worm in a skirt? Garden trowel? Underside of a snorkeler's leg?

Hey, I could go on all day. I suspect, however, that Zoey K., Hap C., & Brady want me to make like a tree, and get out of here.


- Related Wreckage: Fall Fumbles

(Note: If you now have Biff on the brain, congratulations! You're a geek! Now go watch this funny song he sings as a reward.)
E said...

The last picture looks like a geoduck.

TXravenNM

Anonymous said...

What makes me the saddest is that I already used that line earlier this morning as a joke. My geekiness has been confirmed.

WV: noide
I'm not a noide, I'm a geek!

Tracy W said...

Ok, I admit it! I'm a geek. Michael J. Fox was hot then and is hot now. "Back to the Future" ref is FTW!

Rose said...

Cherries? My guess is that they're supposed to be apples. But who has apples and pumpkins the same size? And how much pseudophedrine do you have to give an apple and pumpkin to look that happy?

Tigerwolf said...

That second cake! They nuked Oz!!! Oh, the Munchkinity! *Sob!*

The dancing cherries and pumpkins on the first cake are kinda cute but…where in the world do the cherries get as big as pumpkins?!?

The last one? That’s a turtle. Walking away from us. With, um…tummy trouble.

^..^

WV: spedsol. "*Sniffles!* I spedsol much dime on dis site, I'b dow behimb in by work. *Sneeze!*"

Half Assed Kitchen said...

I love how you left the most obvious guess off that last cake....Geoduck!

Robbie S. said...

Jen, You are hilarious
I can't wait to log in every morning to see the days wrecktastic wrecks.

teena said...

You have to admit that the first cake was beautiful printed-AND spelled correctly!
...I'm having trouble (and am troubled) by the last cake..can we say octopus tentacles, anyone?

Taylor@MyOlderBrothers said...

"McFly!"

Man, I love those movies! I still want a Delorian with a flux capacitor.

HorribleLicensePlates said...

I think there is a fungus among us.

Anonymous said...

LMAO...I totally thought of Biff. That song is hilarious- I didn't know he was doing comedy.

I have never been afraid of leaves, but after seeing these "cakes," I might be.

Squidley said...

I think the tree claws have ears... Creepy.

Jasry said...

Ok, not only were the wrecks sublime today, but the bonus song was a total hoot!! I would say the red blobs were supposed to be apples, maybe? Eh, I'm not a cherry fan. And those tree claws give me the shivers too! (Apparently we don't get fall down here in S Texas either. Bummer.)

WV: learic: Those trees in the first cake make me learic of walking in the woods!

alisaz said...

make like a baby and head out?

Anonymous said...

I think the last one looks like a geoduck! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geoduck

~Randi

Barbara said...

OK, so the wrecks were funny today but that video of Biff made me laugh so hard I almost cried!!

K said...

The first cake with the trees isn't so bad...except for that awkward text. Couldn't they just say "Happy Fall!" or something?

The name is Carol/Mom said...

That last one looks more like someone used a leaf as TP...

Doc said...

Why yes, I did immediately think of Biff. Scary.

I thought the last one looked like a snail that got stepped on and then went moldy.

Tuli said...

It took me a minute to realize that the pink thing on the right-side tree was supposed to be a knot-hole. I thought the decorator had dropped their gum.

Casey said...

What do you mean it's not fall in Florida? It's only 82 degrees at 10:00 this morning! (Which is way better than the 92 degrees it was 2 weeks ago!)

Debbie said...

Love your blog...I just finished reading every post. Took me three days (while dealing with a bad cold, working, and taking care of my 5 month old and 2 yr/old)

Love those trees...remind me of a recurrent nightmare from childhood.. eek...

Definitely a long neck snail is the perfect description for # 3.

Keep up the great work/wrecks. I am going to have to look at the bakery section a lot more closely from now on...

Now I've got to find your book"

Tamara Marnell said...

Well, up here in the massive corn field affectionately known as "Indiana," these bakers are a step or two behind. Fall is already picking up her purse and waving hello to winter as he clocks in, baby.

Gina said...

The third cake is clearly the elusive poo-necked turtle.

celestejohnson said...

LOVE the "Back to the Future" quote! :-)

On the first cake, my 8 year old daughter was standing next to me and kind of screamed from the way the trees looked and said, "They should have put an exclamation point." And I couldn't agree more. :-)

I'm Lori...and maybe I'm you, too. said...

Those are some autumnal masterpieces right there. ::shudder::

Caroline said...

I am in South Florida, hating that we dont have fall! :( But loving these ridic. cakes.. haha. Thanks for the AWESOME blog, read it every day!

C

Caryl said...

Also melting in Florida, but add pouring Gulf Rain to the temps. Forget cake today ! I need AIR to breathe!

Welcome back from the land of the ill!

Abby Normal said...

Woohoo, another geek point! Three more and I’ll finally reach 12th level. That’s the one where I get the Esoteria Bibliocrypha feat, which allows me to name geek references by their episode, scene, or issue number.

Caryl said...

Also melting in Florida, but add pouring Gulf Rain to the temps. Forget cake today ! I need AIR to breathe!

Welcome back from the land of the ill!

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure those are apples. Cherries are a summer fruit.

Maddie Girl Hair Do's said...

That last one is just plain UGLY!

msyendor said...

Cake #1, I see even Freddy Kruger takes a vacation.

Cake #3, interesting species of sea slug you got there, although it looks like someone ran over one end.

jen bryner said...

nice 'back to the future' reference! those "fall" creations were hideous!! i think i'll stick to getting my weather updates via the internet :)

Anonymous said...

I would just like to say, thanks for my reward! lol
Katie

Mike Owens said...

The first one isn't that bad other than the claws (and the cherries being the same size and pumpkins..I mean, even if they are supposed to be apples...). The second shows that one cannot even make a successful lumpy maple leaf with a cupcake cake. As to the third cake, I think you have said it all.

Selina said...

Oh heck, I am utterly terrified of worms and slugs, and I cannot look at that last cake - it's freaking me out!

Action Jackson said...

Maybe someone should have added red icing dripping from the menacing tree hands (?) and a red "not" in between "will" and "be"-ya know, to go along with the whole Halloween season...and maybe to explain why there were tomatoes (wtf?) on the cake. That definitely would have been an improvement and bonus hilarity.

Amy said...

That last one is just so sad. So wrong, so..wrecky.

~Amy B-H

Gary said...

"Underside of a snorkeler's leg" is a good interpretation for the last one.
It also reminds me of a geoduck (a clam with a huge "neck"):
http://www.timwing.com/geoduck-1.htm

I think another entry in the manual on how not to wreck cakes, though, would have to be "Always be very careful about making cylindrical objects with flesh-colored icing."

Stella said...

the tree hands are kinda scary, you sure it wasn't for Halloween? The last one is a fancy tree spatula...for scooping up nuts.

Christie & Doug said...

"Biff" was on Psych last week.

Kirstin said...

Squigdly: That was totally my first thought! The claw trees of death can hear your every step!

Melissa (& Billy) said...

I agree, the tree claws look more like the kind of trees that reach out and grab unsuspecting trick-or-treaters. The pumpkins are kind of cute--maybe they're made to give a false sense of security? "Come iiiiin children...."

The leaf almost makes it. ALMOST. Get rid of the green blob and we might be in business.

The last one...nice colors but uugggh what is that tubular thing? (no on second thought I don't want to know)

Like the varied hues of fall foliage, fail comes in all sorts of degrees. Wreck on!

Gary said...

Drat, several people beat me to the geoduck comparison. At least that supports my assertion that that's what the last cake looks like.

n i l e e y said...

the last picture looks like some sort of fungi...

The Quirky Confectioner said...

ROFLAWM - That Maple Leaf CCC looks like a mutant carrot.

Nicole N said...

You should totally make a mole day post with chemistry/mole cakes!

(It's National Mole Day!!!)

Courtney said...

OMG as if I didn't already love CakeWrecks enough, you go and post a BTTF reference! You're my hero!!!

Carol said...

Thank you very much for the Biff reference...LOVE those movies!!! In fact...now I have an overwhelming desire to share my geekiness with my kids (even more than I already have) and introduce them to Back to the Future 1, 2, and 3.....are 6 (almost 7), 9, and 10 too young for these movies.....hmmmmmmm.......

mommymichael said...

it's amazing how much icing they can pile on top of cupcakes.

Anonymous said...

I totally nailed that Biff quote! and what a reward! lol!

Anonymous said...

The last one looks like Adam's fig leaf isn't quite doing the trick.

Anonymous said...

I agree. The last cake looks like a geoduck clam.
http://www.wdfw.wa.gov/fish/shelfish/beachreg/2clam.htm

In case you need reference. :)


-Kat (LA)

Hungarican Chick said...

Agree with E. Thta totally looks like a geoduck.

Cory said...

I may be geeking myself out further than the obvious Back to the Future reference, but if anyone rememebers Babylon 5, the last cake looks like Londo's extra "appendage."

C'mon, you know, the one he uses to cheat at poker and while he's, er, with the ladies!

(Head down in shame for that being the first place my brain went to upon seeing this cake :( )

Lv2danz said...

Love Back to the Future and have happily passed my geekiness on to my two boys 'cuz they can watch it over and over again too. It is their "DENSITY" to become geeks. =D

Thanks for the vid.

Anonymous said...

How do you think I feel out here in the desert in az?? I'm still wearing spaghetti straps and we broke a record last week for the highest temp in October of 104!!! I miss fall :( anyone else see a creepy eye on the left side of the last cake?

Emily said...

People have already beaten me to "geoduck" on the last picture, so I'm going to have to go with tube worm. Highly diseased tube worm.

Laura, Ben, and family said...

Yay for anonymous, it's not just me that thinks that last one has a certain .. maleness quality to it.

lisadh said...

Uh, call me crazy (thank you), but that first one is not a cake! It's just cardboard with frosting on it.
What a complete and utter waste of frosting!!

That is the ultimate wreck!

Jessica H said...

Glad I wasn't the only one who saw something dirty in the last cake. :P

I think the creepy poo claws on the first cake are reaching up because they "want sprinkles."

Doris Sudduth said...

LOL! You'll never believe it but my husband and I were just talking about Biff this morning! Thanks for a great laugh!

Darla said...

Too funny and no our fall in Florida is lacking in color for sure!

Kelly H said...

Oh! The Biff video made my day. Thank you from a fellow Back to the Future fangirl. :)

Angelica Bays, TygrLilies.com said...

You are ALWAYS good for a laugh! Thank you so much X-D

Jennifer said...

Last one is definitely a geoduck!

Kelly said...

Thanks for today's Biff reference!!

Anonymous said...

I think the Fall Will Be Here Soon could be a less ominous version of - Winter is Coming - from the Song of Fire and Ice series.

ooooh almost spooky!

Anonymous said...

Fall will be here *soon*? its already here and almost gone in my corner of Massachustts

Karen said...

The second cake looks more like a really awkward bunch of carrots than a leaf. Are carrots considered a fall vegetable?

Karen

lizzied said...

In all those suggestions of what that last cake could be, I can't believe that the term "poo" wasn't used, 'cause oh ma gawd.

Christie said...

Forget the hilarity that is the entire post.

Skip to the parting shot.

"Make like a tree...and get outta here"

and can I just say, that I have used that line since the movie came out in the 80's, and still my husband looks at me like I'm rediculous. As in, he still doesn't get it. He just thinks I'm screwing up an already bad joke.

Bwah hahaha

OH! My sides...Biff Tannen...I heart you big time!

Hobbit said...

Cake geeks unite! Love the Biff reference (and totally missed him on last weeks Psych).
Fall has arrived here in Seattle so to me that first cake is a cheerfully haunting reminder to clean out the gutters.

Anonymous said...

So on the 3rd cake, I immediately thought "Adam is dangling beyond his fig leaf's protection." Hey, my mind's always in the gutter, sorry. Then I noticed the eye and thought "God is watching...and judging...always judging."
Keep up the great work.

peewee said...

wow. A three pronged carrot huh? How very, Autumn.

Angela said...

I think it's a snail......

E.M. Green said...

I had no idea what a geoduck was until I realized it was pronounced gooey-duck. OoOOooh. Mike Rowe has taught me well. Oh cable how I miss thee.

Jeanne said...

LOVE...LOVE...LOVE your blog, did I say LOVE? Yup, I meant LOVE !!! I have told everyone I know about Cake Wrecks. I come in here and laugh my fanny off if i've had a challanging day. So I just dropped in to say - Cake Wrecks ROCKS!! (I thought I'd better say it, as I wondered if my message was hard to understand - you know, because I was so subtle in expressing my LOVE for your blog!!) Have a great day and thanks for making all of us laugh so hard!

Just Me,Pilgrim said...

Ha ha, I immediately thought of Biff too.

"It's LEAVE, you idiot... make like a tree and LEAVE."

I still love that movie, even after seeing probably 250 times on TBS in the past...oh, man...wait... has it seriously been 20 years?
Ouch.

darlene said...

About that first cake: I realize that "the walls have ears" but the forest? not to mention the creepiness factor -- very Wicked Witch of the West. All it needs is some flying monkeys in little bellhop costumes.

Andi said...

As much as the last one does look like a geoduck, my 3 year old came to see what I was laughing at and asked "what is that thing that looks like a dirty snake?"

I'm still giggling.

Carrietastic said...

I got the Back to the Future reference immediately. *proud geek*

cookie_monster said...

i didn't know that leaves flew up as opposed to falling down. And, those leaf sprinkles proportinatley are really, really, really tiny for the branches....just thinkin buds that never grew and then changed colors? gotta love sprinkles

WATERBABY CHRISTINE said...

Last one: what my cat leaves on the carpet after eating grass.

wv: imobte
Imobte HERE in bad jokes, so I'll make like a tree and split.

Marcy W. said...

I can't believe I just found this site! I laugh out loud quite a lot when I read your stuff. Pure genius! I think I'll have to carry my camera wherever I go, just in case! Thanks for bringing such levity to my otherwise hum-drum day.

Anonymous said...

Looks just like a multicolored geoduck. Here's a pic for anyone not from WA state.
http://www.nefsc.noaa.gov/faq/images/geoduck.jpg

heartafire said...

You blew the last joke, though.....
I suspect you meant: "...make like a tree and LEAF!"

Keeley said...

And if anyone wonders why I laugh out loud when I read Cake Wrecks, I can just say "...feather? Spear? Long-necked snail? Worm in a hat? Worm in a skirt? Garden trowel? Underside of a snorkeler's leg?" and show them that photo. You rock as always, Jen.

Hey, my WV is whingy--I get all whingy when my cake doesn't look like the photo I showed the baker.

Kaelen said...

Oh my gosh, as soon as I read that I instantly thought: Biff.
Guess my geekiness isn't a surprise though, this just confirms it. :P

dulcinea said...

Star said...

I went through long-necked snail and also long-necked turtle, but I finally settled on Plesiosaur. Or the Loch Ness Monster. Which may or may not be the same thing.

I'll shut up now.

Alison said...

aww, I thought the "fall will be here soon" cake was cute!

agent babcock said...

Since when is a knot hole pink?

Havoc said...

The last one, looks like a geoduck.:(

My Ice Cream Diary said...

I think that last one is supposed to be a Gooey Duck Clam:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/7514157@N06/467854437/

Mmmmmmmm.

feathergirl said...

I love the claws on that fall cake. They really are one step away from the cold death cake. :)

Amanda said...

The fall cake actually looks pretty good, its just that the message is a little silly. And YAY, Back to the Future references ftw :D that trilogy is my favourite of all time!

Angie Jackson said...

I've been lurking this blog for years and I had no idea you were here in wrecktastic Florida - where it's bikini season from February till November. No wonder you post so many unappetizing deserts!

I did myself serious nasal-cranial damage snorting with laughter at the garden trowel/scuba leg. Good stuff.

BillyD said...

I think the first cake is cute.

Pam Walter said...

Regarding the last photo: What the....? I'm more convinced than ever that some of these must be inside jokes. http://blog.sweetservices.com/sweetscandyblog/

Anonymous said...

I'm looking forward to the Halloween wrecks. Btw Thanks for this blog. I found it a couple of weeks ago via a link in an author's website. Have been having a good laugh since!

Alicia said...

More like FAIL will be here soon... oh wait, its already here!
;)

Lindsy said...

Seriously, that's a geoduck if I've ever seen one!

The pale observer said...

That looks like a slug coming out from under a diseased leaf!!! Disgusting!!!

After reading your blog I'm convinced lots of bakers do hallucinogenic drugs...

AnnaSpringer said...

The video of "Biff" made my day!!!

Louise said...

I read the end of the post, immediately thought of Biff and then I read your note and laughed so much I breathed in some of my own hair. Gggggaaaaakkkk. I didn't think I was a proper geek (I can't write things in html code and I can take or leave star trek) but now I know the truth...

CRUSTYBEEF said...

sorry, but that last cake looks like something that fell on syphilis and gangren..if you know where i'm going with this.

one crusty mom-e

pippingeek said...

it's a technicolor geoduck!

Sami said...

"Make like a tree and get out of here!" YES!! I love your pop culture references!

Anonymous said...

I was laughing sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard...

Olivia said...

That's about as funny as a screen door on a battleship... I loved the video, btw! Your blog rocks, and has confirmed many times over what I've known my whole life: I am truly a geek!

Cupcakes Lady said...

lol Last one is definitely a geoduck! ;) xx