Friday, October 9, 2009

Putting Their Best Feet Forward

Friday, October 9, 2009

Ok, this is going to be toe-tally corny, but I'm doing it solely for the laughs.

Ready?

[pregnant pause]

Ta Da!

I get the impression you'd have to be a real heel to belly up to this baby shower cake. Eh?

Yep, the belly cakes just keep getting better and better, folks. I mean, sure, the headless, limbless preggo torso was undeniably appetizing for a while, but it's nice to see bakers reproducing some with a bit more kick, don't you think?

Er...Either this baby is reeeally flexible, or she's going to need some corrective shoes later in life.


So, today: fetal feet.

Tomorrow: fetal faces?

Ahh, we can only hope.

MK & Rose S., these babies really stomp out the competition, don't they?

- Related Wreckage: Return of the Belly Cake
Kimberly Chapman said...

Oh man, I'm tired...I totally read that as "Tomorrow: fetal feces". Then I thought, oh crap, don't give the scary decorators any new ideas!

Taylor@MyOlderBrothers said...

It looks like they're having cartoon babies because each foot only has four toes. Maybe they're half ninja turtle.

Jenniffer said...

Oh wow... just wow! How czan a cake be so technically right but still so wrong?!? I thank my lucky stars that I haven't been asked to do one of these monstrosities! If I ever do, I'll be sure to turn myself in to the Wreck Police! ;)

-Jenniffer
http://cupadeecakes.blogspot.com

Wendy said...

Atleast neither one of them did outtie belly buttons!!! Some cakes just make ya wonder....

Half Assed Kitchen said...

When do we get to see the 3-D ultrasound cakes?

Anonymous said...

Ok, reading "fetal faces" as fetal "feces"...would definitely give a whole new take on the cake...

heather (errantdreams) said...

By the way, since I happen to be a book reviewer as well as a fan of your blog, I couldn't help posting a review once I was done reading through the book. Still hoping I can make it to the reschedule of the Bethesda signing!

Kelly said...

I see feet sticking out of someone's back in that last cake. That is a seriously butt-like bosom! And the baby's feet are on the wrong sides. Ok, something positive...nice handwriting, and a lovely linea nigra (the dark line below the mother's torso's navel). How can there be that much detail on a headless woman!? I don't blame the bakery; I blame the weirdos ordering these monstrosities!

WV: vambila If you cut into these cakes you can see the vambila-cal cord.

Little Lovables said...

oi! better feet than bum cheek impressions

{yak}

Anonymous said...

OK - first of all, those boobs are just EMBARRASSING! And has anyone noticed those babies are wayyy breech and posterior? This would be a scary cake for me!

Terry Lee said...

hmmmm. something's afoot here.

at first i thought the baby's feet were literally coming out of the mama's belly. but after reading your comments, i stand corrected.

that second baby's feet are definitely backward. bet his parents won't be too thrilled to foot the bill for correcting that.

also, let's not sidestep the issue of writing across the mamas' breasts. it's very damn classy, but i think the bakers are walking on a thin line.

these wrecks really keep you on your toes!

MarliO said...

LOL at the breech and posterior comment. Too true. The only worse cake I can imagine would be sets of feet at top AND bottom -- a locked twins situation *shudders*.

Kelly H said...

Fetal faces!!?!!?? That'll be shades of Alien all over. EWW!!

Stacie said...

...um, I like the baby bump cakes :)

deckardcanine said...

I think the poor kid has two left feet.

From this angle, "Tummy" looks like "Tumy." Is the fetus being regarded as a tumor? Shades of Hellboy II...

Anonymous said...

Oooh catty! You have to admit the first one is really well executed, no matter what you think of belly cakes. Question: do you call the cake cutting a c-section? The backwards feet is just really too bad.

Dana said...

Actually .... the feet in the second cake look like they are positioned more correctly than the feet in the first. When in the fetal position, the legs are crossed. The feet in the first cake look like the baby is in a terribly awkward position, it would have to be some kind of knee-chin tuck with legs together. Either way, they are both totally disturbing.

Ali Mae said...

I think I know the photo responsible for this one--someone photoshopped a photo like these cakes--the PHOTO was pretty cool.

http://photobucket.com/images/pregnant%20foot%20in%20belly/

cannwin said...

I'm having a hard time with the bosoms with writing all over them. And can we make their chests a little larger!? What? Are all the bakers men?

;)

Gary said...

Oh, my. So just replicating a pregnant torso with the head, neck, and limbs cut off was not enough; now we have to see the marks of four-toed fetuses that have somehow escaped from the womb and the amniotic sac and are sticking their feet through a herniated abdominal wall. And, as Anonymous points out, they're both in a delivery-defying breech position, and the second one seems to be executing some kind of cross-legged split.

WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?

... Sorry, had to take a few breaths there to calm down. Maybe it's a cultural difference, but among my people, neither cannibalism nor display of dismembered human bodies are considered normal party games.

Rachel said...

That is more disturbing than watching a medical drama on tv. EEEWWWWW. Wow. Seriously - what would you do if you went to a baby shower serving that cake?

Trevor said...

It seems that breach birth is very in vogue for cake decorators as well. I mean, even *I* know they don't usually come ou that way.

Amy C said...

I believe those cakes were trying to copy this picture, which has been circling the internet for quite a while. Personally, I think it belongs on Photoshop Disasters. http://babybumpdiaries.com/images/baby-foot-pregnancy.jpg

Sorry, there is no way you could see that much detail of a baby's foot sticking up against the mother's tummy. It's just not possible. It does make for some creepy looking cakes though.

Brandy said...

I'm usually okay with belly cakes, but those are CREEPY.

Maria said...

i'm i the only one fascinated by the second ones GIGUNDOUS BAZONGAS?! i swear on my piping tips i'm not a 13 year old boy. i swear. but- they're the same size- if not a little bigger- in "height" than the alleged tummy. I mean, I know they jump into action during pregnancy, but... those are like triple G's or something.

Kelsey said...

Oh.
My.
God.

Why????

Amy said...

Gag. That's so un-appealing.
~Amy B

Sara said...

Baahahaha.. pregnant pause. I just shot coffee through my nose. ouch.

Niecey said...

Aw, I think the cakes are both just lovely. I wouldn't be comfortable actually chopping them up or eating them, but they sure are pretty.

Melissa (& Billy) said...

Whoa! I'll see your 'do not want' and raise you a 'HECK NO!' 0_o

WV: 'Riverse'--Seeing these cakes makes me want to put it in riverse and get the heck outta here!

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

Jen,

These are disturbing. Today, you are my "arch" nemesis....bwwaahahaha!

Costumeholic said...

That reminds me of the kicks my daughter gave me from the womb! But I agree, I wouldn't want to eat a cake that looks like that!

feathergirl said...

If I see feet like that come through my stomach in real life, I'm going to be creeped out. I don't know how mamas can look at these cakes and not feel a little nauseous. I bet they serve these tasty cakes very quickly.

Emma9405 said...

Did anyone see the wreck that Jon Gosselin got for his daughter Mady? Misspelled name, overuse of flowers....yikes!
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20311297,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines

Kara said...

ewww

Anonymous said...

Now I am officially creeped out by fondant...

Katie Anne said...

"Er...Either this baby is reeeally flexible, or she's going to need some corrective shoes later in life."

OK, you are so completely hilarious. I laughed so loud my coworkers had to come see what I was doing... :)
Thanks for my daily therapy,
Katie

Anonymous said...

I'm scared this trend will go into hyper-realism and start producing accurate, NSFW breech birth(day) cakes. With lots of strawberry jam.

AaronJamesPatterson said...

Fetal faces?
We can only hope, indeed. That would be the creepiest thing ever. straight out of a scene in a horror movie. Almost like the alien bursting through the person's stomach.

rbnhood said...

shriek!!

Ewwww! Those are disgusting! Even the ones that are well made, just....yuck!

WV: derec. If Tattoo had worked on Fantasy CW Island: "Derec!! Derec, Boss!!"

Anonymous said...

Are those her boobs, or is her butt on backwards?

Bonnie said...

HMM....If Bella had a baby shower, I bet this is the cake Alice would get her....baby Nessie coming to get us all....RUN AWAY!!! RUN AWAY!!!

~Bonnie B

Glindie said...

As someone who is currently pregnant, these cakes (and the idea that you could ever see an imprint of feet in someone's stomach) have made me really glad that I always check Cake Wrecks *after* eating. Ewwwwwwwwwww.

kimbalaya said...

Hey! I had a crazy pregnancy-induced dream just like those cakes! I was watching my unborn daughter kick and push on me and I could see the shape of her feet sticking straight out of my belly.

Nikki said...

These make me a little nauseous. And I've actually born a child. :urp:

coeurdechoeur said...

Oh god, if they start doing fetal faces, I'm pretty sure I'll be having cake-related nightmares.

Anonymous said...

What does that first one say? Hello Mymmy, Goodbye . . . ?

Anonymous said...

I think it says "Hello Mummy, Bye Bye Tums"

Jasini said...

The first one says "Hello Mummy, Goodbye Tummy"

I can't read the other one.

Anonymous said...

ah!!! ahhhhh!!!!! ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Stephanie said...

Oi Jen, you were really on a roll with the puns today! Extra cool points. :)

rachmouse said...

Huh... is it just me or do the feet look backwards on that second one? The left on the right and vice versa?

*shudder*

WriteCards said...

I tell you, these cakes are just . . . "wrong." Who could eat something like this? Wouldn't you feel like a cannibal?

jamie said...

Oh the second one has the right orientation for the feet! In the fetal position babies typically cross their legs, sometimes so much that the heel is almost on the opposite hip. Although these feet are turned bottom of the foot directly out which is a bit awkward, seems like the bottom of the foot should be at more of an angle...

Estelle said...

Oh my God! I just had a request for one of these this afternoon, first time I've ever seen one and now you have this posted today! And they did want an outie belly button on it! *shudder*

No, I don't intend to make it, I'll talk them into anything else!! Anything!! When did it become okay to serve body parts at baby showers? It's creepy, how do people not understand that?!!

Jillean said...

I can't believe this... years ago I had a horrible dream that I looked down and my belly looked just like this, down to the unusually low number of toes. I'd almost blocked it out... must be a psychic decorator, unless that particular nightmare is more common than I thought :p

janet2buns said...

It looks like if you cut into them, there would be fetuses inside. Yuckyuckyuck!!

Angela said...

I feel slightly sickened, but also a bit impressed. Creative..... very creative.


http://looklikeyoulisten.blogspot.com

SimplySweeter said...

I think I'm sick.

http://www.simplysweeter.blogspot.com

seafoodpunch said...

omg. is it wrong that i would have trouble cutting into a cake like that? I dont know. Oh man, for halloween they would definitely creep people out by putting a baby shaped cake INSIDE one of those cakes. aaaaaaarrrghh

frigglesnitz said...

um,...(phoow), oh, gees, I, um...man. I mean, well...just...(phoow)...well, they're um...

I got nothing.

cw-rewebary what a small child calls the library.

Jennifer said...

When I was pregnant I had this extremely strange dream in which the baby's feet were pushing out the side of my belly. I tried to describe it to my husband at the time and couldn't really get the image across, but this first cake is EXACTLY what my dream looked like. I showed these pictures to my husband so he would understand. And for what it's worth, I found the dream rather disturbing, and the cakes even more so.

sarahandmom said...

Well...it could be worse. We saw pregnancy-themed cakes...not...um..delivery-themed ones.

*shudder*

Lapis Kelinia said...

Saw this, thought of you... *leer*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixXPtQVAtU4&feature=player_embedded

(Creepy, but work safe. There's something about babies dressed as carrots, only this time it's "Kewpie Sauce")

psyche said...

what's up with the *scarf* around the neck bit of the second one? seriously wreckorator... you maybe thought adding a scarf would make it look LESS like disembodied torso?

Mommas Soapbox said...

I'm thinking I should buy one of these cakes as a form of birth control for my son's girlfriend....

The "kissing can get you pregnant" stopped working a few years back. LOL

Might be the very first time I'd pass on a piece of cake....

My daughter would yell "can I have a piece with the foot?" or maybe "I want the belly button"

Thanks for sharing.....

Natalie said...

Pregnant torsos and baby feet? Sicknast. I SO do not want a piece of cake.

wv: weasho - Weasho do love some fuuugly cakes.

Glory von Hathor said...

See, this is what happens when people don't get given proper sex education and learn about pregnancy from Stephanie Meyer books.

Don't use a condom, baby full term in about about six weeks, it'll kick or chew its way out.

Vicky said...

Crikey! I don't believe what kinds of cakes they make...
Pregnancy is an amazing thing, don't get me wrong, but I wouldn't be able to bring myself to eat them!!

It's like that freaky bit in the Twilight books where the vampire does a c-section with his teeth!!

Aimee said...

Wait... does that say "Bye bye TUNG"? Because "Tummy" would make TOO much sense.

Angie said...

Like somebody else said, I don't blame the bakers on these... I blame the nutjobs who ordered them!

The first one is really pretty if you can get past the feet. And the belly. And the boobs. And the lack of the rest of the body. I guess you could say the "execution" was near perfect.

I also concur that the tatas on the second one are way too much. That woman's gonna have some serious back issues later...

Sixxlet said...

That first cake was cute and really well made. My last child was always making footprints on my belly when I was pregnant, so it's not that far off!

Anonymous said...

(screams) Alien baby! Alien baby! *hides under covers*

Ashley said...

I love how on the second one they wrote all the words on the right boob.

Geez, if I ever go to a baby shower and they bring out a cake like these I think I'd have to lie and say I'm a diabetic or a vegan or both just to get out of having to eat such a scary piece of cake.

Erin C. said...

That just made me throw up a little. :P

Claire said...

I totally read Tomorrow: Fetal faeces too >.> To be fair I don't think it's an entirely unreasonable idea, given some of the poo cakes we've seen D:

Annacakes79 said...

That last one looks like the baby is stomping through her back, cuz those Boobs look more like butt-cheeks!

Natalie said...

Ha, I love how these cakes make it look like the babies are busting right out of mama's belly! (Um, NOT!) Seriously, I had to consider whether these cakes were trying to depict a C-section...or what! Ick, no...this is sooo wrong...

.elle denise. said...

how dreadful...

Dazey2 said...

The black shirt over the boobs looked like Mickey Mouse ears upon my first glance. Mickey's ears over a stomach is too weird...

wiljago said...

Strangely, the Buddha was born out of the side of his mother's torso as well.

http://k41.pbase.com/g5/34/270434/2/67691836.GULfEYOC.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/ff/Birth_of_buddha_peshawar.JPG

Jenni said...

Only one word comes to mind with these fetal cakes: Breech.

Anonymous said...

Mom's got a couple of serious cupcakes, there. Is this for a batchelor party?

jmj820 said...

I've never laughed so hard in my life. I seriously have to pee now!!!

Anonymous said...

Gross. Sorry, pregnancy becomes so self-righteous, we don't all need the visual.

Ework 411 said...

On that first cake, the baby's feet are protruding so far out that my first thought was "Since when are babies born feet first, and from the side of the mother's belly?"

It was not until I saw the second tacky wreck that I realized it was supposed to be footprints. Of course that was after I managed to tear my eyes away from the emormous boobs, which look like those plain black bowling alley lane balls to me.

WV: spare - Spare us any more bowling ball boobies sprouting yoga baby bellies

Ework411 from http://ework411.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

I am not sure who would be able to cut into that cake, without closing their eyes and grimacing???

Yarni Gras! said...

ewww....I don't think I can stomach the footie cakes! haha!