Monday, October 26, 2009

Autumn Terrors

Monday, October 26, 2009

When you see your typical bakery display filling up with disembodied plastic fingers and red corn syrup drenched eyeballs you know Halloween is nearly upon us. Of course, those cakes are trying to be gross, gory, and/or creepy.

[sing-song voice] Bo-ring!

Personally, I prefer the cakes that were going for cutesy, but didn't quite make it. You know, like this:


Bring me the head of Billy the Scarecrow!!

Don't you worry about Billy, though...


...I hear he qualified for the "bale out" program. (Hay!)


I don't think this next one was going for cute, exactly, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't going for this level of creepy, either:

Um. Wow. The monster mash just got a leeetle bit awkward.


So anyway, you can keep your rat-gnawed arms and zombie brain cakes; to me, no baked good will ever be as terrifying as this thing:

Aaaauugh!


Denise, Surlana, Matt L., & Kourtny, I will never look at fried eggs the same way again. Thanks.

- Related Wreckage: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!
Jagyularr said...

I can't even begin to fathom what that last cake might be. It looks like one of those Fierie puppets from the Labyrinth...only one that's been cross-bred with a duck and has had its eyes replaced with breakfast foods.

Oh, God, I'm going to have nightmares about a egg-eyed Fierie-duck now.

WV - sesse: I cannot sesse how wreckerators come up with these damned ideas.

Kashmir said...

Okay, um...I kinda like the last one. At least it is something you don't see every day.

BRAAAAAIIIIINNNNNSSSSS!!!

greeblygreebly said...

What the frickity heck is that thing? And why can't I stop staring at it?

Taylor@MyOlderBrothers said...

I like the "bale out" cake. Too much icing, but it's funny and clever.

But the "I want you" cake is just scary. Especially those two random backwards fingers.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

What the fronk is that hard boiled egg/cornucopia thing?

Anonymous said...

I LOVE the hard-boiled egg eyes on the last one...

Mrs. Ohtobe said...

Yikes - the boiled egg eyeball monster!

Sunshine Mom said...

that last one will haunt me for the rest of my life

Syldoran said...

". . . or, at least, I think I want you. I might want him. Can't really tell anymore, what with these crooked eyes and all."

Kelly said...

Billy, nothing. That's Spud!!
Farmer Pickles finally gave him his comeuppance. We've always wondered how this village tolerated the personification of pure evil for so long.

catsrae said...

What is that last one even supposed to be? It's like the leaf pile came to life or something. Eek!

SheBear said...

Deviled egg sandwich cookies....why didn't *I* think of that! :slaps forehead:

How appropriate that this demon has devilish eyes, though!


WV: mamwgdat--what my 2 yo said when she saw the picture.....before running away in terror! ;)

Natalee said...

First comment! Woo!

Can I just say, I wish the bakeries here had baked goods as awesome as these ones.

Kelly said...

I think the first one is Basketball Jones - "Bassetball Jones! Oh, Bassetball Jones!" The second one was the last straw. The third one - snot monster? The last one looks like a deviled egg cornucopia.

Miranda said...

Gah. What is that thing???

I did a black cat cake (dark chocolate cake; dark chocolate icing with just a bit of black color to take it the rest of the way.) That went over well, no grossness needed!

Trevor said...

What IS that last one? I think I see a mouth, and maybe some eyes. Could we request a different angle for that one? Please? Ok, ok, how about just some mental soap please. I'l be having nightmares tonight.

Elizabeth said...

I love the random leaf on the last one. Nice touch Wreckerator! I guess it must be a clue to what this thing is. Be careful kids, when you are out this Halloween: The Pile of Leaves Monster might get you!!!

agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com

Sabrina said...

hilarious! I'm heading out to see what our Wal-Mart bakery has concocted this year...I'm sure it will be good for a laugh, or two!

Anonymous said...

OMG. What is that last creature supposed to be?!?!

Kimberly Chapman said...

Slightly OT...my 4 year old just wandered in while I had CW open on the screen and said, "Heyyyyyy...those babies are sitting on carrots! That's SILLY!" Then giggled maniacally.

This from a kid who decorated her own birthday cake, including pushing jellybeans through the icing into the cake, stacking them six or seven at a time, claiming those were rabbit families in holes.

See, even little kids with huge imaginations are perplexed by the naked mohawk babies on carrots!

Donna M. said...

That last one looks like the Deviled Egg eye Monster

Jessica J said...

"It was a night... just like tonight..."

The last one TOTALLY reminds me of Large Marge from Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. I just used to run screaming from the room during that scene when I was little. Oh, the trauma.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/80/246304911_01e2d85720.jpg

donkeyinawhitecoat said...

In the name of our savior! WHAT IS THAT THING! MY GOD! MY GOD! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?

Although, if that's all buttercream between those cookies, send 'em my way.

Anonymous said...

LOL. I would actually buy that last one. It was totally disturbing, of course, but I think it looks just how the decorator wanted it to. Hmmm...noww I'm thinking of making a really scary cake for Halloween.

WriteCards said...

That last one makes my teeth hurt!

WV: tactrat . . . . You'd think a rat would have more tact than to make one of these cakes! Not to be confused with packrat . . . which these wrecks seem to reflect everything but the kitchen sink!

Katie said...

I WANT YOU!!! LMAO what were they going for with that cake? an Uncle Sam/Alien combo? or is he just in the moode for some lovin' ? what the heck!
...poor aligod. *that makes me laugh every time i think of it.. btw.

Anonymous said...

Um, yeah, that bale of hay has penis hands.

Heather said...

Please tell me that last one isn't just frosting. Because it looks to me like it's just piles and piles of frosting. I love frosting as much as (and maybe more than) the next person, but my pancreas is quivering in fear looking at that thing.

Terry Lee said...

okay, i can't get past the green monster thingy. i like that it enlarges for closer inspection.

it's touching that he wants me, but honestly, his sign should read, "i need some visine ... and perhaps a manicure for my two fingers."

yikes.

Anonymous said...

"And when they pulled the driver's body from the twisted, burning wreck. It looked like THIS... "

Suetois said...

The last cake is clearly an Egg McMuffin monster.

Melinda said...

Spud, Large Marge...great comments today. That last "cake" is a doozy.

Floz said...

Thank god someone else noticed!

Angie said...

Every single one of those wrecks made me think "What the f?" I'm going to wonder all day long what that green thing was supposed to be, and now, thanks to the last one, I'm craving deviled eggs...

Em said...

"The monster mash just got a leeetle bit awkward."
Hahahahahaha!

Stephen of Olejnicak said...

I'm reasonably certain that last one is from Labyrinth with David Bowie. I'd say it's pretty wreck-tastic if I'm right or wrong.

By the way. Labyrinth still scares the bagezus out of me and I'm 28.

Andrea said...

Love how the green one doesn't even have writing on the cake! They just put a note in there with I Want You, which doesn't really make much sense anyway.

Jennifer said...

What in the name of Gaknar is that thing?
I think my eyes have started to deteriorate!

khanada said...

Oh my. That monster cake is so creepy on its own, and the "I want you" sticker just makes it even worse. If I saw that in a grocery store I would most likely run screaming from the bakery department.

Ryan said...

The last one looks like Animal from the Muppets to me.

Amy said...

"Bale-out". Cute!
Amy B-H

Danielle said...

I like how the first one is actually a hamburger cake re-dressed for Halloween.

~triplets+3~in real life ~ said...

I actually love the last one.

Looks like what would happen if Gizmo and Spike had their own offspring..

( I'm partial to Gemlins since my house is over run with them on a daily basis! )

Dharmamama said...

The first one looks like the hamburgers that grow in McDonaldland. Which - the hamburgers were *alive*, with eyes and mouth, but they were picked to be eaten... by Mayor McCheese! Creepy.

Nads' Bakery said...

Seriously... what is that last one?!

katrotta said...

I prefer eggs in my cake, not hard boiled and on the cake. EWW

katrotta said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hobbit said...

Frightening! They all look like variations of classic Dr. Who monsters. If anyone needs me I'll be quivering behind the couch.

~triplets+3~in real life ~ said...

Gremlins.. attacked my keyboard as I was typing.. AAHH

Kristin said...

The last one looks like the McDonald's Egg McMuffin Monster.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else see deviled eggs made from frosting in a cornucopia on the last wreck? Or is it just me...

Charity Charity Ichiban! said...

haha I'm with Stephen and Jagyularr - the first thing I thought of on that last one was "Chilly Down with the Fire Gang". Nice. But, even if that was the intention, it was pretty poorly done.

"Snake Eyes!!!" haha I love Labyrinth.

http://thecakeversionsofthings.blogspot.com/

Dawn said...

OH MY GOSH WHAT IS THAT THING?!?!?!?! *runs screaming*

Sharon said...

I have no idea what that is crawling out of the frosting leaf pile, but I'll take it home. ^.^

and call it George and pet it and stroke it and hug it...

...and flush it down the toilet so it can grow to enormous size in the warm dark sewers.

andygirl said...

Are we sure that last one isn't something from the Jim Henson Creature Shop or an extra in Labrynth (sp)?

Tracey said...

Obviously some of these bakeries (or bakery sections as the case may be,) do NOT put these "decorators" through a trial period to see if they can actually decorate a cake. Scary!

Anonymous said...

I've been staring at that last cake for at least the last five minutes trying in vain to figure out even a minute possibility of what it could be but all I've got is Leaf Monster. Maybe it's supposed to be a Leaf Monster...I don't know. All I know is that I would never buy cake #1 as cutting into the head of anything, scarecrow or not, is disturbing.

Sara said...

The green monster impressed me, but that last cake scared me. How could someone make that? When I see thongs like that, even if I don't want to, I start to believe in monsters, or something like that. (Note: I like Halloween.) His eyes are madly scaring. eheheh

After the first shock, that last cake makes me laugh. Is this hysteria? \0/

Becky said...

I see that 50 other people already echoed my same "What the heck is that thing?!" sentiments.

I'm liking the Labyrinth idea though... whether intentional or not!

RAC said...

I'm pretty sure that last cake is the severed head of a Furby.

Anonymous said...

That last one looks like a horse that's been stepped on.

Mizprynces2u said...

What the hell is the last one? It's like possesed sunny side up eggs wearing a hat made of feathers.

Admin said...

@Jagyularr: Omg, i thought the same thing.

http://www.thebothanspy.com/images/interview/8/gallery/11_250pxFiery1.jpg

Maybe they were going for Fierie? If so, well done, Wreckerator.

Tilly of Silly said...

I will now leave my opinion on each pic because you know I have no life:

1. Besides being a yellow pumpkin scarecrow hybrid theres almost nothing wrong with this guy. It's just the genius Wreckie wanted everything perfect so he meade something to center the face on! In BLACK icing, and then to add to the insult the wreckie forgot to take it off because haveing blacklines going across the face is SO much worse than the eyes being off center.

2. Why this dead scarcrow is simply Magnificent! But why in the world is he wearing that bright orange beret? Oh it's a pumpkin? But aren't pumpkins round? Oh it's the flat because you dropped the pumpkin from the roof of the barn onto his head. THen you took the body and stuffed in a hay bale to hide it. Uh well I uh got to go now *shuffles nervously to the next pic.*

3. *relieved to be away from the scarcrow murder* Well this is a....disturbing cake. What is this thing. I want you.... *flips over card* To make a frog cake. *stares at cake looking for the resemblence between fraken frog and a real frog* The resemblance: They are both green. Looks at the weird fingers, and weird sprinkle choice: You know I think you can sue for this....or at least get you money back for them barfing on it.

4. *rubbing the awfulness from my eyes* I hope this is a nice normal wreck, maybe a mispelling or tw- FOR THE LOVE OF ALL WRECKED CAKES WHAT IS THAT!. Suddenly the terrible truth dawns on her, how can anbody be this color/iceing blind. I think (looks in horror at the color catrastrophe) that they were trying to make I don't know a group of leaves but obviously it turn out right so the manager in a vain attempt to save the wasted icing searches around, the only icing left is white and yellow ( the brain dead employee has used all the decent fall colors on the...thing) so he quickly draws big white eyes and yellow iris (because you no some monsters have yellow eyes) than finds the thing lacks a mouth. He quickly finds two stale surger cookies they were going to throw out, fills it with whit icing for the mouth, hlaway through to the managers horror he runs out of white icing, he quickly grabs the yellow and does the rest of the beak/mouth with that color. Than he puts on the display proud of his quick thinking. He then sacks the poor wreckie.

Thank you thank you. This is my impression of what happened to each and every cake *bows*

-Tilly

whateverfor said...

That last one reminds me of one of the Fiery Gang who left his head behind... only now his mouth is made of cookies.

I can see I'm not the only one who saw the Labyrinth resemblence. Great minds, and all that. :)

LOL "Bring me the head of Billy the Scarecrow!" Sounds vaguely Wizard-of-OZ-esque with a hint of the Queen of Hearts, no?

WV:ousio...almost ouzo ;)

ivygreen said...

Jen...I love you. But not in a creepy, restraining-order kinda way. You're the Friday night margarita of the blogophere.

Val said...

The last one looks like a Thanksgiving mutant - fall leaves and deviled eggs.

Just Me,Pilgrim said...

What the hell is that t hing in the last picture!? I'm going to have nightmares of deviled-egg eyed monsters with autumn leaf hair chasing me all night long.

And i thought the first few pictures were scary. Oh no.

Etiquette Bitch said...

Um, on the "I want you" cake...what is that, an alien receiving a note from his/her stalker?

and the last CW...my first thought was "smashed deviled eggs." Yum!

Lacy said...

What... what is it??

msyendor said...

Love the Leaf Monster: "Go ahead. Jump in. You know you want to. Colorful, crispy leaves piled high. Nom, nom."

Anonymous said...

Last one - what the h--- IS That thing??!?


(Capcha: outher "O noe, it's a cakething! Get outher fast!")

Stephanie said...

The "bale-out" comment did me in.
These are just... bizarre.

WV - forti: Good luck trying to catch forti winks after seeing these wrecks!

Jenntoo said...

Are you sure Billy the Scarecrow isn't Dr. Bok Bok Bokaw from last Easter now in Halloween garb?

Lucia W. said...

ahhhhhhh! i am running! ;)

Jenn said...

What the hell is that last thing??? I shall remember it always in my nightmares. WOW.

Lucy said...

xDD
The third one immediately made me think of that Beatles song..."I Want You/She's So Heavy." And subsequently that scene in Across the Universe.
I can see it now--a giant green monster reaching out from the picture to grab you AND EAT YOUR BRAINS!

ksaldria said...

Is it just me, or does cake #1 look like it started life as a basketball?

Buffy said...

@Kelly--it so totally IS Spud! That was actually my first thought. I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets the heebity-jeebies from that guy. "Farmer pickles finally gave him his comeuppance..."

ROFL!

Bree said...

I see David Lynch has taken a second job as a cake decorator.

Carrietastic said...

The "bale-out" actually did achieve cute, imho. Just my $0.02

Haiku Joy said...

I couldn't flutter
my lashes, so I thought I'd
spell it out for you.

Anonymous said...

The worst thing about the green monster cake is that it was made at a chain grocery store. We saw the first one and took the picture. A week later, in another location, we saw it again. Cincinnatians, beware! ~Molly

Hope said...

At least the creepy monster cake didn't say, "I won't you", as is normally seen on such wrecks.

Sixxlet said...

I have to say that the hay bale with the scarecrow in it doesn't look like a wreck to me. I think it's cute - clever concept. It looks homemade, too, and not professionally done. I think whoever did it did a very nice job!

Melissa said...

Is that last one anything but frosting and a couple cookies? How can that be food?

ellie said...

the green one is priceless - made me spit tea all over the keyboard and I don't want to know what my roommate thinks is going on.

Summer said...

Goodness! What kind of scary thing was the last one. Hope it will not be in my dreams this night.


Summer
A Writers Den
Brown Mestizo

Nick said...

That "bale out" cake is adorable! Your posting of it was late a day. :)

mad said...

(first post)

just to say, 'Cake Wrecks' blogsite was featured on the Graham Norton Show on the BBC last night!

brilliant, hope it brings even more wreckeration!


hmm. the verification word is octipig... haven't i seen that as a cake somewhere?

Diana said...

Actually, I LIKE the last two. Poor little sad Green alien thing.

That's like a "pity" cake. I'd take him home just because he seems so very needy.

The final one looks like a psychotic hedgehog. As there was a story on NPR recently about a hedgehog on anti-psychotic medication, I call that last cake timely.

rabbit_2_26 said...

Did I drop acid and just not remember?

Bri said...

I like the green one though...His eyes are a win!

peewee said...

WHAT eve IS that last one? The creature from the Fall lagoon?

Anonymous said...

I think they may have been going for a "Nuckelavee" In which case, it's really not such a bad job . . . of course, if you have to reach into ancient Scottish lore to make sense of it. . .

http://www.monstropedia.org/index.php?title=Nuckelavee

Anonymous said...

I have a pic on my cell phone of the "I want you!" cake! This must be the kit of the season or something. I was going to send it in, but someone beat me to it!
Heather

Margot said...

Be sure and tell 'em Large Marge sent ya!

Rocketqueen92

KE7IYK said...

My 8 year old was shoulder surfing, and when I got to the last cake, he screamed 'aaaarrrgggh it's got eggs on it'.

Anonymous said...

I'm still laughing over the "bale out".

Kaitlin said...

Yeah...that last one definitely looks like the fireys from Labyrinth:

http://www.movieforum.com/movies/titles/labyrinth/images/fireys.jpg

...which were HELLA creepy by the way.

swall223 said...

Hahahaha I recognize the 'alien' thing one! It was in a grocery store like 5 minutes from my house! I was literally cursing out loud that my camera was dead because I wanted to take a pic n send it here! So good job to whoever did!

Amanda said...

That last one looks like a member of the "Fire Gang" from Labyrinth. You know, the guys that take off their heads? Scawwy.

Eclectic E said...

This looks like one of the fire things in The Labyrinth.

LadyGunn said...

That last one looks like zombie Animal from the Muppets... :shudder:

Down to earth said...

I also took a picture of the green alien..."thing" in Indiana! I laughed when I saw the picture here and realized it was not just a one-time thing...this is actually a kit! What were they thinking? ~Sandy

WEndalls said...

I Like the green one. Its cartoony and kooky.

Cupcakes Lady said...

The last one looks like Animal from the Muppets to me. It so does. ;) xx