You know, Amanda S., I always wondered what Davy Jones would look like as a turkey. I'd say this has got to be spot on.
Kara S., please tell me this is a baby shower cake. (Orange pacifier? Woolly bonnet? It could work.)
Ashley J. has obviously found the "angry tree demigod" species of turkey. Forget Smokey the Bear: now HERE is a mascot that will make you put those campfires out.
And Melissa G. found a...a...hm. Right, you got me. What the heck is this?
Ah, the traditional "Snake in a Flamenco Dress" turkey - of course. But where are the castanets, Erin L.?And lastly:
Sure, ok, he looks like a turtle whose shell is on fire - no problem. The thing I can't get past are those weird Aztec-looking symbols written on the left "pumpkin's" head. After a few moments squinting at them, I suddenly realized they are supposed to be words. Check it out; it's like one of those magic eye puzzles.And don't look now, Lynz B., but I think those Twizzlers are supposed to be feet. Won't you join me in weeping for the future of cake art?
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LMAO Snakes and turtles!
~Hyla
I think it says eat more beef
Little known fact: Participants at the First Thanksgiving got a hold of some bad Peyote...this is what they saw.
The last cake maker seems to think they're not only awesome at cake decorating, but also a comedian. The left pumpkin says "eat more beef" if you squint really hard. They obviously think crazy pumpkins in illegible colors with flaming turtles are cuter than the Chick-Fil-A cows.
My favorite has to be the turtle whose shell is on fire! Thanks for the laughs.
Is it just me, or it says "Eat more beef"?? How appropriate lol.
Unless I'm mistaken, those "Aztec symbols" say "eat more beef." Creepy.
Truly tragic! I feel sorry for anyone who would even consider purchasing such monstrosities!
Well, the 4th one down is clearly some sacrifice to the sun gods to bring us good weather on Thanksgiving. Those feathers, you see, are the rays
The one you were confused about? Obviously some sort of sun with a strange solar flare. And yes after much squinting I DID see words...well letters anyway.
"Eat... more... beef"
Ew.
I have a turkey wreck sitting in my camera, but it's on a cookie. Is that okay for cake wrecks?
Aw Jen - you're just stuck in the old ways. These cakes are the future, man. Art doesn't have to be real - it just has to make you feel. Unfortunately, this art makes me feel kinda icky.
And I think Chik-Fil-A has someone to sue with the last cake. Aren't they the ones with the 'Eat More Beef' campaign? That's what the little sign says on the left.
Does that say Eat More Beet? LOL. I can't believe how horrible these turkeys are... I never knew beaks could be so difficult to make on a cake!
I'm fairly certain it says "Eat More Beef" on the sign above the pumpkin on the left. Pretty comical, but awful handwriting. And shouldn't the turkey be saying it, not a pumpkin?
My five year old says the first one looks like a "squid turkey" lol.
Melissa
OK...that last one is just plain scary. :)
Once I realized you meant Davy Jone from Pirates of the Caribbean and not Davy Jones from the Monkees, it made sense. Your comment that is, not the cake.
The icing! The icing!
Oh, the carnage!
My vote goes to cake 4 for looking most like a turkey...the rest are weird space creatures.
I thought the "angry tree demi-god" was a spider.
And do the words on the pumpkin's head say "EAT MORE BEE"? Aren't they disappearing fast enough without encouraging us to eat them?
Yes, a turtle who demands you "Eat More Beef" (or Beff). Looks like someone is ripping off Chick-Fil-A. But who eats that much turtle?
I think the pumpkin is saying "eat more beef," which makes me sad and giggly at the same time.
"tree demi-god" - that's great!!
My kids had the same reaction as I did to cake #4: "It looks like it's made out of corn cobs!"
And I'm getting Earthworm Jim feelings on cake #5. :D
Words fail me, but "Eat More Beef" is not the caption I'd put to the last turkey (and I mean that in the sense of a dud).
The little pumkin says "Eat More Beef"....First time commenter, I love your blog, it always starts my day off right!
Does the Aztec thingy say "Eat More Beef"? And that is one nasty turkey neck!
Happy Thanksgiving!
I weep for cake art.
Thank goodness the sticker lets us know that it is indeed a "turkey variety pullapart" cake. I don't know why anyone would be confused by that. And why would the pumpkin be concerned about us eating beef rather than sugar turkeys? Is beef made of squash?
Why do crazy deformed pumpkins care if we eat more beef? I think the unidentifiable one is in fact sporting tentacles. Cthulu fhtagn!
Twizzlers = Spider turkey
Awesome.
Number Four, Well that's the incredibly rare Octoturkey!!! The Octoturkey is seen in November slinking around grocery store bakeries, leaving a trail of buttercream frosting. On-lookers scream as it scales and mounts the lobster tank, where it devours the defenseless rubberband clawed creatures in seconds. When the beast's appetite is quieted, it returns to its plastic cave to sleep off the meal.
And THAT'S why your cake sometimes smells like seafood.
OK, geek flag flying now... but do you not think that the first wreck looks an awful lot like the new dalek hybrid in the Dr Who episode in Manhatten? (maybe a bit more rasta though, haha)
http://s28.photobucket.com/albums/c228/tennant05/evo/114.jpg
Is it Sunday yet?
Jen, love the wreckitude. Keep it coming, you make mornings at work far nicer! I've got some ideas about what some of those cakes are maybe supposed to be...
Okay, number 1: It's Turkthulu, a lesser-known creature of Lovecraft's. Seriously, it looks like icing on a board. I'm assuming it's a dreaded CCC. {shudder} Moving on...
Number 2: apparently someone forgot that we don't use the egg-shaped pan for this holiday.
Number 3: you nailed that spot-on. But at least it has sprinkles. =)
Number 4: That's gotta be a spider. 8 legs, weird design on the back, yeah, spider. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Number 5: I'm with you - snake in a dress. Which only begs the question, "Why?!" But, of course, so do the rest of these.
Okay, hoping you (and the rest of the American readers) have a happy Turkey day! (And to the non-Americans, well, hope you at least have a good weekend =) ).
I think the 4th one may be the spider cake from Halloween gone radioactive.
Yet another demonstration on how we put poo on a cake but the lines are pretty straight so I have to give a little credit.(referring to first cake)
Some of these are really scary! The words above the left pumpkin are "Eat More Beef" LOL
Oh- did it ever take me awhile to make out the words on the pumpkins head. Why, 'eat more beef', of course! What a creative marking for a pumpkin head!
www.thesouthernfamily.blogspot.com
The Aztec pumpkin headdress says "Eat More Beef." Hmm. Clever.
Mr. Hankey, The Thanksgiving Poo! Finally, he's in cake form.
eeewww.
The pumpkin says "eat more beef" - so long as it isn't a beef cake. Ewwww.
I think the guy on the left is saying "Eat More Beef"
The little pumpkin is so happy!...Is he really telling us to eat more beef?
I guess that's in the best interest of the turkey/turtle (turkle?) but it's like a Chick-fil-a ad gone awry. Maybe that's the point?
All that my 6 yr old could say as she peered over my shoulder was, OH! I think that says it all.
So the sign on the pumpkin says "Eat More Beef". Uh huh.
The last cake, it would appear that something inappropriate somehow got eyes!....use your imagination. Oh wait...you don't have to.
The Market Pantry cake is supposed to be a Native American god of harvest: the stylized turkey head surrounded by various colors of maize, representing the fall feast of plenty.
... Yep, that's it.
That demigod cake is so sorry I kind of want to take it home with me.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
I *think* the sign on the Aztec pumpkin god's head says "Eat More Beef." But it could also be "kill me now, and end this." It's hard to tell...
Monique in TX
The weird Aztec words say "Eat more beef"
I thought the last turkey looked like someone's portrayal of extreme animal cruelty, setting the poor turkey aflame before it's even been slaughtered. But a turtle with it's shell on fire is much funnier.
The Aztec puzzle says "Eat More Beef"
Wow those are classic wrecks!
People get paid to make this stuff?? What a life!
I bet these so-called decorators brag to their friends like "Yeah man, I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but I just pile some frosting here, throw a cookie there, and collect my paycheck on Friday. It's awesome,dude!"
These are just hilariously scary :)
My guess on that 4th one is Shelob from LotR - wearing legwarmers.
I'm not even sure what to say to those other than that they give new meaning to the word "horrendous"...
Well of course, the pumpkin is telling us to "eat more beef". Who would want to eat this monstrosity?
That one that you don't know what it is- That's Denis Rodman.
And my family wonders why I hate turkey.:op
~Amy B
I read it as "EAT MORE BEER."
Which, ya know. Is hilarious. :-D
"Eat more Beef" haha, really? wow. I can't believe thats what the Aztecs wanted us to know.
Poor Chick-filet. So many knock off's just can't compare to the original.
When are you going to have a modern art classification for cakes? That would help some of the wreck-i-nesss :)Happy Turkey Day y'all. May your turkeys look normal and taste good :)
After squinting at the magic-eye-Aztec-symbols pumpkin for a few minutes, I was quite positive that it said "Get more beer". Then I came and read other people's comments. They claim it says "Eat more beef". It makes just the most miniscule amount of sense more, but I like my version better.
You forgot to mention that the 4th photo is a Cup Cake Cake. In fact the label says it's a "24 Ct Turkey Variety Pullapart Cupcakes"
It looks like another animal wandered too close to the electrified fence.
This round of wreckiness takes the cake, but that last one...Why on Earth would a pumpkin say 'Eat More Beef'? Some cake decorators should have their creative licenses revoked!
positive thing about all that brown icing? looks the same going in as going out. i'm just sayin'...
Hilarious! Thanks for the much needed laughs today!
And to think that just last week I had the errant thought, "Someday this will have to end. She will run out of bad cakes and witty comments. This can not go on forever." I was wrong. You are Queen. May you reign forever.
PS: The computer ate my first comment. I hope this does not end up as a duplicate.
The first one looks kinda like a flower made of poo if you squint. The third one with the tree demigod has amazing sprinkle placement. I'm surprised no one has said anything about the 4th one-the snake in a dress- looking like a certain member of male anatomy...
word verification: ingulin, you might need a shot of ingulin if you eat all that frosting.
I vote for snake in the flamenco dance dress. It is the most wreckaliciousnessly cake in our contestants today.
#4 is obviously a buffalo in a feathered headdress, celebrating America's native heritage during this Thanksgiving season.
Wait... it's NOT? Because that's what I saw...
I think the "snake in a flamenco dress" is a turkey who mated with a peacock.
Being the die-hard Monkees fan I am (no, I'm not kidding) I was at first trying to find a likeness of Davy Jones the singer, but I wasn't getting too far. :) Of course, Davy Jones from Pirates, now that I can see. Thanks for the awesome wrecks! Excuse me, I think Daydream Believer is on....
All hail the angry tree demigod!
"Ah, the traditional "Snake in a Flamenco Dress" turkey - of course"
If I'd had coffee in my mouth, I would've spit it out. Hahahah.
#4 is quite obviously a kindergartener's "Hand tracing" version of a thanksgiving turkey tail...
Designed by the six-fingered, two-thumbed man... the relatively unknown brother of Count Rugen who was a considerably less evil cake designer... but who contributed to his brother's treatise on the subject of "Pain" by carefully recording the responses to his Wrecks.
"I'm not a turkey, I'm your cake!"
I love the "angry tree"!
Does that say 'Eat More Beets'? Oh, wait... I suppose it has something more to do with cows than Dwight Shrute. Stil...
This post totally got me busted for laughing at work. The angry tree demigod and snake in a flamenco dress killed me ded.
hahahaha! "Snake in a Flamenco Dress"! Classic. As always Jen, these wouldn't be nearly as funny without your wit. I'm grateful for CakeWrecks this year! Happy Thanksgiving.
Hey, has anyone pointed out yet that the pumpkin says "Eat more beef"?
Just checking.
Maybe the twislers are there to hold up the massive body...like bride cables in a way.
I don't know, I'm trying to help it out and it's just not working.
@ cake #1
Ia! Ia! Turkey fhtagn!
I thought the pumpkin said "eat more beer" until I read the other comments. Beef makes more sense, although drinking more beer might make the wreck look more reasonable...
The snake in the flamenco dress cracked me up!
This is what happens when you ask a nation who have never seen a live turkey to interpret a live turkey in baked goods. *sigh*
Just found your blog (from Katie) and these cakes are just too sad! I have been doing cakes for over 12 years and I am glad to say they (even my worst ones) look nothing like these!
hmmm. I come from a cattle ranching family, so 'Eat More Beef' is a popular sentiment at our Thanksgivings.
The cakes themselves, especially the Angry Tree Demi-god are going to give me nightmares.
Ok, so it may be gross, but Melissa G.'s submission (I can't make myself call it a turkey) looks like it surrounded by gnawed on corn-cobs, some of them have just been dyed....
Ha ha ha ha....we went turkey for you today too Jen!
I never ever knew there could be so many wrecks. I can't believe people actually try to sell these things. I wait for the day when I to can become an offical wreckporter!
I vote that the fourth cake is actually a Halloween cake. In keeping with the scarecrow/chewbacca that we saw a few days ago, this one is chewbacca dressed up as the Mayan sun god (Quetzalcoatl?). Really, it's only problem is that the baker made it 1 month late!
oooh! A Turkopus!
~Elena
I kept trying to think of what it was that I could say to describe each one, and you got it spot on. Way to go, Jen, for reading my mind!
Hmmm...I think the Aztec symbols say drink more beer. Maybe if you drink more beer, the cake looks more like a turkey! Those are all wrecktastic!!
word verification - likaff -- when you laugh at a joke because you like the person, but the joke wasn't really very funny
The first Easter Island pumpkin says, "Eat More Beef."
The second has a sign behind it that says, "Gobble, Gobble."
Isn't that a mixed message?
And the first cake definitely belongs in Davy Jones' locker.
Word verification: chare. Chare a Thanksgiving Turkey Cake with your family this holiday season!
lol at the Snake! It could double as the Lochness Monster!
LOL!!!!
yay your posted my turkey!!!
XD
and yeah davey jones....
they were so bad looking!!!
hahahhaaaaa!!!!
Clearly Melissa G's cake is Dalek Sec
Ha ha ha, it says 'eat more beef'! Too funny! Because pumpkins (and cakes!) have feelings... I could see if the turkey were saying it, but pumpkin hair?!? Odd, indeed!
It does say "eat more beef"......sheesh...........how clever can they be?
I saw many Mr. Hanky's with funky headdresses....
I read EAT MORE BEEF. and oh my gosh, I was ROLLING reading through these today! I love the angry demigod. The whole T-day set has been awesome! Thank you!
--Jessie
Can I only comment that I think the first picture at the top of your post makes me hink of the NBC Peacock, if it had taken a hit of acid?
Uh...Does that say "eat more beef"?
I KNOW!!
The fourth one looks suspiciously like the everlasting gobstopper from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
There's a picture here, if you want to see for yourself
So this cake is a...
wait for it...
EVERLASTING GOBBLESTOPPER!!
Oh my gosh...this is the funniest thing I've seen in a looong time!! I practically spit on my computer screen. XDDD I love the 'angry tree demi-god'!!
Ok the snake cake worries me a little. I think he..she?..it? is going to crawl away any minute now.
And I admit I too thought of Davy Jones the Monkee...but he *if* he was a turkey, he may well look like that, who knows??
We'd have to see it dance to be sure....
I think the core issue here is that most people have never seen a real turkey (I mean, outside of the freezer bin in the meat section) so it's no wonder their anatomy is a little less than accurate.
And I prefer to think the little pumpkin wants you to "get more beer"
Personally, I don't think eating more bees is the answer.
To anything.
Ouchie.
The Aztec looking symbols spell "Eat More Beef." No charge for translation. : )
Eat More Beef. That's what that pumpkin is saying.
Whaaaaaaaa???
I think the pumpkin says "EAT MORE BEE(F)". I mean, is there beef in that cake?
the third one down...it's Mr. Hanky dressed as a Vegas Showgirl for halloween...that's a feathered headdress behind him. Umm...Yeah, that's what I'm going with.
I'm glad you included the link. I'm so old that when you said "Davy Jones" I conjured a picture of the Monkees, and thought he doesn't look like an exploding turkey.
Ia! Ia! Turkeythulhu ftaghn!
They're all very sad as professional cakes, but the last one, with the Twizzler feet would be a lauded showstopper if someone's niece decorated it like that at home for the family dinner.
Everyone would proclaim it adorable and say that she was so clever. They might even say "It looks almost like a professional cake." But anyone who said, "You'd never know it wasn't a professional cake" would be a regular Cake Wrecks reader.
Re the first one - just how many hangy-down neck thingys does that turkey have??
What a terrible waste of Twizzlers, making them into that "turkey" cake's feet.
I REALLY like the "angry tree demigod"...it's SO cute.....as a tree, not a turkey.
At the Tom Thumb grocery store today I regret I was without my camera, and there, lo and behold was a turkey cupcake wreck that resembled the NBC peacock in all its glory.
Is that pumpkin telling us to "Eat More Bees"?
I think the "what the heck is that" cake is a sun gone supernova. With a nosebleed.
What [!!!] is going on with number 3/tree?
I mean, seriously, it's like a stick figure turkey; nobody tried on that one.
How do these things get put into those cozy plastic cases and put on a shelf with a price tag?
Word verification: aggionh, as in "Oh the AGONY!"
Brianna McCarthy@Passion.Fruit
http://briannamccarthy.blogspot.com
The unknown cake is clearly a rare tropical fish, which pacific cultures consume instead of turkeys on Thanksgiving. Or something.
"And I prefer to think the little pumpkin wants you to 'get more beer'"
Yeah, because maybe if you get enough beer, the cake might actually start looking like a turkey.
Oh my goodness, this is hilarious! I'm feeling pretty "thankful" right now that I'll be having plain ole pumpkin pie and not a mad tree demi-god at the table this year! Har-har-har!
I think the last turkey says, Eat More Beef. Funny ha ha.
oh my, this blog is the best. I keep forgetting these are professional cakes! What is the world coming to?
I too read "Eat more beef", until I looked closer and realized I couldn't see any "f" and my mind was just filling it in. So yeah, I agree with Craig: it says "Eat more bee."
"Eat more beef" LOL.
Awful and therefore hilarious as always.
-Deb
The great thing is the unknown cake (which also bears a certain resemblance to Mr. Hanky in real life) is still in the store. At least noone has taken that wreck home!
I showed these to my three year old and he said they were a "Turkey, another turkey, a leaf, an octopus, a snake, and another turkey."
Oh kay...we have two squashed spiders, a chocolate lobster on a cookie, a rasta ccc wreck and a turtle with coloured barnacles. Weird...and I can't wait for the Christmas cakes.
wvotd..obaggr.."I'm all obarr'd with the uglines of these cakes"
I think it is hilarious that people don't get your humor and actually answer your rhetorical questions.
Thanks though for always pointing out the horrific details that I might miss.
And thanks for the best post ever.
You just made me realize that I really want a cake of a turtle with his shell on fire.
That last 'turkey' has a dodgy shaped head/neck...rather 'poo' shaped...! LOL
it says eat more beef!
The first wrect looks like the predator and I guess one of the other ones could be the alien.
Ok is it just me or is the first turkey "cake" picture missing something? Oh wait here is a thought...could it be the cake? From that angle, it looks like there is only icing and no cake. Can somebody please tell me that I am only seeing things!!
i love those cute pumpkins with the little headdresses!!
Ashley J's turkey looks like roadkill!
That would be a turkopus.. or maybe an octokey... no more fighting over drumsticks! You've got 8!
LOL - The snake in the flamenco dress is the best!
Keep up the good work!
Nechama
#4 - turkey octopus! watch out they'll take over the world !
the cookie turkey looks like he's clutching his heart from a heart attack...that or he's choking on the cranberries - guess that's one way to go...
To "Cake for Breakfast" - I love your name. I sell the majority of my cakes on Saturdays. If one doesn't get picked up , or if I have an extra that didn't get sold, then I donate it to a children's charity called the Ronald McDonald House. It's for the family's of children with cancer who are from out of time and need an place to stay for an extended period of town while their child is receiving treatment in the hospital. Whenever I drop off a cake to them I get greeted by children who are having "cake for breakfast" usually in the shape of a popular character. It brings such a smile to their face and mine!!! :D
Aww. Those are horrible.
Try this one.
http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/52/l_c1c83620f7814804a7a15431de68c953.jpg
ick. i think i'll pass on any cake that says the word "beef" anywhere on it.
I am admittedly late on the comment, but I had to say this: My two-year-old daughter was watching the turkeys scroll by. She was actually pretty good at pegging most of them as turkeys, but she called them "Turkey Monsters!"
The "What the heck is this?" cake is clearly Snuffleupagus http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Mr._Snuffleupagus
wearing the very popular 'Statue of Liberty' crown. Now that is how you celebrate Thanksgiving!
The neck of that last one looks more like a turd!
Okay--look a Melissa G's again--I have a suspicious feeling that was last months spider cake re-done. Do you see the EIGHT feather/legs???
I laughed so hard, I woke up my daughter two rooms away. If I'm up all night now, it's your fault for being so damn funny.
Wow, those are great!!
What the heck was that last one supposed to be. The first one was trying to be a peacock, I think.
This is a Turkey cake!
http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a212/Isolder74/TurkeyActivistFront.jpg
That snake in a flamenco dress! I couldn't stop laughing. And since when does a turkey have a peacock tail, even if they are both gallinaceous (chicken-like) species?
Shannon Givens
I can't get over how the writing on top of the little pumpkin head in the last picture says " eat more beef".It took me a minute to see it also. When I finally read it I thought to myself " WHY"?
eat more beef! Someone's treading on the edges of copyright infringement *laugh* and as for the "angry tree demigod" am i the only one who has been staring at the fireman cake for too long? (Or maybe its just that i've been going through this site since about 5pm and its about 9pm now?) with the way the sprinkles are layed out it reminds me of a leg-less vegas show girl!
"EAT MORE BEER", that's what I see. ha good times xxx