"Oooh, wow, it all looks good! So hard to decide. Well, I think I'll get a couple of the chocolate donuts for the kids... Oh! And I'll have some of that cherry cheesecake. Yummy... hm? What's that, hun? Oh, ok. ...And my wife would like a big ol' slice of the dong cake, please!"
"Tyler! Get your face off the glass!"Ah, Europe! You're so... European.
Thanks to Andrea G. (And yes, the smiley face really did have to be that big.)Update: Listen! I really can't put the uncensored version up. (I know too many 9 year olds who read the blog.) But if you really want to see it, email me at comments(at)cakewrecks.com and I'll send it to you. Unless you're 9. In which case shame on you for even asking.
Update to the update: I have now sent out well over 300 uncensored dong cakes. I gotta tell you, if someone had asked me five years ago what I'd be doing in five years, I probably wouldn't have said, "Sending out explicit pictures of dong cakes to curious readers of our cake humor blog." I feel dirty. But in a good way.
That sounds about right. You should see the chocolates around Valentine's Day. ;P
ReplyDeletein Berlin perhaps I truly can not imagine anywhere else in Germany that would be seen, (I spend a lot of time there) dear God I hope thats in Berlin.. you dont see that in the Rhine valley towns I assure you. Not on the most drunken wine harvest day do you see that.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to stop reading the blog. And I LOVE this blog. Too many "off-color" posts lately. I really was offended by the wording of yesterday's and today's post. Sadness. :(
ReplyDeleteMelody
Oh My!! ****blink****
ReplyDeleteI saw similar, um, creations made of chocolate in Bruges (Belgium)this summer.
ReplyDeleteHeh, the one to the left of it's not so innocent either! :)
ReplyDeleteSeriously? That was in a public bakery? WOW
ReplyDeleteUm, you might want to put a smiley over the reflection, too ;)
ReplyDeleteAs for "off-color," maybe it's just me, but this blog is meant to be making fun of cakes gone wrong. If any cake could ever go wrong, it's one with a giant 'dong' (which by the way is a great replacement word for any of a thousand different worse ways to say male genitalia) next to one in a string bikini. I thought this post was hilarious, and oh so very European. I hope Melody gives this blog another chance.
None of the posts in this blog are off color or offensive. ImagineMel needs to lighten up.
ReplyDeleteHmm. As a European reader, I feel like I have to comment by posting a link to one of our most distinguished chocolate manufacturer's site. They actually do not ONLY advertise these on their webpage under "adult products" but ALSO have them on display at their distributors'.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.kultasuklaa.fi/tuotteet.html?page=shop.browse&category_id=6
Viewer discretion advised. No smiley faces have been disembodied in the making of this site.
Um if you find 'dong' offensive then you must be a nun. That is a pretty mild word. And doing cake wrecks a lot of them are going to be ones that look 'rude' in one way or another, it's half the fun.
ReplyDeleteOne of the 'classic' cakes on this blog is about a fireman's ... hose. How on earth does anyone assume the posts don't have adult content at times?
ReplyDeleteAs for the cake itself.. <3 Germany.
Oh good grief ImagineMel, lighten up. Cake Wrecks is an awesome site. If you're willing to give up a good laugh because of a couple of "off color" posts (which are MILD compared to the millions of other sites on the web), you need to relax. Life is too short to be a stick in the mud!
ReplyDeleteWhere's the link to the original version?! Curious minds want to drool^H^H^H^H^H admire^H^H^H^H^H^H see...
ReplyDeleteIt's Germany. They have "toy" stores at the airport. The photography shops/studios have their nude pics on display outside. After living there for 5 years, I don't think I'd blink twice at this cake.
ReplyDeleteA heavily censured that only shows cake thighs and the word 'dong' are not shocking. I'm sorry. Please take into account the numbers of us who do appreciate these posts.
ReplyDeleteand fwiw, I've lived in Germany (my husband is from there) and this doesn't surprise me. :) I think, despite what another poster said, that this could easily happen in another of the big cities. Hamburg, perhaps. But yeah it's nothing like the Valentine's chocolate selections!
haha, oh my!
ReplyDeletereally, "dong" is offensive now? why are you even braving the internet if you are so sensitive?
ReplyDeleteyour blog is awesome, don't change it, unless you want to take off that smiley. ;)
*blinks*
ReplyDeleteThe smiley face really *had* to be that big? Wow! Then I guess you're using the 6-foot Pole comment to segue from one post to another, huh?
Sorry, Cakewrecks.
ReplyDeleteIt's been fun.
Come on, let us see it! I mean, can we truly call it a wreck if it is "anatomically correct" ?
ReplyDeletei freaking want one! lol!!
ReplyDeleteIs it wrong that I'm getting excited about the flouncers? I really need to cut back on reading Regretsy.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, don't alter the blog because a couple of people get bent into a twist about some very benign content. You can't control what people will get offended over, and it's not worth it to try to cater.
I'm an adult, and I'd like an option to see it without the smily :) Keep us the good work!
ReplyDelete"A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it."
ReplyDeleteTaken directly off the site under "What is a cakewreck?"
So if you came here looking for posts that were in no way "inappropriate" then you are in the wrong place.
Maybe it's just me, but I can't really make out anything in that reflection.
ReplyDeleteBut yay for commentroversy! ImagineMel and ladyrazorsharp, you may want to avoid regretsy.com.
I love this blog, and have spent hours reading through all of the posts! Love the writing that goes along with the wrecks. Keep up the great work :)
ReplyDeleteI wish you would post the non-censored versions of the pics somewhere. I often am really curious as to what exactly is under there!
ReplyDeleteI had NO IDEA cake decorators could be such prudes! What with all the mixing, spreading, squeezing, patting, and rolling inherent in cake-making, I just figured you guys were, uh, down with that.
ReplyDeleteDrat, I went looking for the off-color remarks from yesterday and only found some stuff about a Polish flag. Maybe it was over my head? Keep 'em coming and keep 'em blue...I come to Cake Wrecks for a laugh and always get one. Thanks.
ReplyDeletep.s....perhaps the same people who think CW is off-color are those offended by Katy Perry's outfit when she sang with Elmo on Sesame Street.
WAIT. Imagine Mel HAS to be joking, yes? Off color as in bad colors? I can ALMOST see this one..but yesterdays?! The Polish one? Definitely off color, but offensive?!
ReplyDeleteAh, makes me proud to claim German heritage! ;o)
ReplyDeleteDef. do not change based on 2 comments. Can't stand the jokes...don't read the blog.
The rest of us say "bring them!".
Thanks for the laughs Cake Wrecks. I can always count on you to make me (literally) LOL
i totally love that oicture and think it is very funny!i dont see nothing wrong with a cake like that and i think that smiley face is not necessary!!....hmmm...but im german and we are not all uptight about that stuff ;)!
ReplyDeleteOoo ooo ooo, you know you've made it on the internet when people start rage-quitting over blog posts...
ReplyDeleteI <3 you guys, keep up the good work. :)
I think the off-color posts are my favorite. I mean, sperm balloons? Offensive? No. Hilarious? Heck yes! Love your stuff.
ReplyDeleteI find it shocking that someone would be shocked by this post! And, all these years I thought that I was the one who was a prude ... nope.
ReplyDeleteThe body is a beautiful thing people, particularly when it's cake, smile and laugh a little.
Of all the cakes you've shared with us (including cake "giving birth") this is the one that's offensive?
ReplyDeleteI'm more offended by the spelling and grammar on some of the cakes.
Go figure.
You can totally see the dong in the reflection if you click on the pic to make it bigger and then zoom ;)
ReplyDeleteWow.... you know you have no life when you actually bother to look that closely at a cake version of a penis.
If you look at ImagineMel's blog, there is post titled "Ding, Dong."
ReplyDeleteHello Kettle? This is the pot, you're black.
Also I think it is interesting that at the linked site of chocolate "naughty bits" you can only get the boy parts in pink. Are the girl parts too realistic in pink?
ReplyDeleteCake Wrecks is one of the only blogs I've found that gives me belly laughs on a VERY regular basis. Thanks for that! And I am also for removing the smiley, or at least offering a link to the uncensored version.
ReplyDeleteI'm the opposite. I'd love to see the uncensored version of these cakes. Perhaps on a separate link since my little daughter loves to read this over my shoulder.
ReplyDeleteI swear I'm not a sicko, btw. Just morbidly fascinated ny the idea of someone sculpting *ahem* parts from cake.
Hah! You "fixed" the reflection in the glass case. Now it just looks like the butt end of a docked dog. ('cuz 2 hours ago when I last looked, there was definitely flag support there.)
ReplyDeleteI should have listened to Jen and gone with "wang."
ReplyDeletejohn
you should not block out the jiggles and bits.......
ReplyDeleteor post covered and then not covered....
:) Kim in FL
What does it say about me that I spared the offending smiley just a glance because I was wondering whether the pastries above the chocolate donuts were Windbeutel or Bienenstich and subsequently craving both? ;D
ReplyDeleteI'd like to join in the chorus of people asking for links to uncensored version of some of the more risqué wrecks. The smiley faces and black bars totally take the fun out of everything.
ReplyDeleteWHY is the woman's covered up, but the man's genitalia is just openly visible for all to see? (And yes, it's not covered in the least - I saw the uncensored version). I call sexism.
ReplyDeleteI'm with @Tangomenas 6:50 PM
ReplyDeleteon this ... I am much more interested in what that is ABOVE the smiley face. And do they FedEx.
God forbid a 9-year old know what human genitals look like!
ReplyDeleteHere I thought it would only ruffle feathers that you were making fun of dead-presidents'-last-name-first-names. If it had been my blog, I would have done nothing different. Wreck on!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, my wv is epusti. I'm just not gonna go there, because this is a family show. ;)
just curious - is 'e standin' up or layin' down?
ReplyDeleteI hardly ever comment, but just had to agree with all the posters who say this blog is neither offensive nor off-color. Come on, with all the things they could have said, so many times... Yeah, it's time to lighten up.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog, keep up the good work. I lurk here every day!
wv: ballyfu - I won't even go there, so as not to offend :-)
Hahaha! I can totally see it in the reflection on the glass. LOVE IT!!! It's too funny. Keep makin me laugh, CW!
ReplyDeleteGREAT blogging - keep it up! (no pun intended for today's blog) And I was disappointed when I went to yesterday's blog just to find out that "off color" referred to the color of the Polish flag. I was thinking I had missed something risque - not that I wasn't totally bummed for the entire Polish population who had viewed that cake. Cake Wrecks is the best!
ReplyDeletehaha! This is totally typical Germany. I love it! I lived in Germany for 10 years and believe me I have seen worse.
ReplyDeleteOh yea! I'd like to have THAT in my mouth! The cake, people! Bunch of dirty minded people! LOL!!
ReplyDeleteI, too, agree about all the off-color posts and stuff. But I say KEEP 'EM COMIN!! (ooooooh, wrong word to use in a comment on a dong cake?)
Oh wow, I can't believe some people are butthurt over a CENSORED picture of a cake penis. Get over yourselves! Only roughly HALF of the entire population of Earth has one. It is not offensive. (And I wish it wasn't censored, would have liked to see what was there. Maybe a NSFW link so those that wish to see... can?).
ReplyDeleteAfter seeing the uncensored photo, I am convinced that the baker is a man. A small man with a large imagination!
ReplyDeleteGood god what kind of occassion calls for that kind of cake
ReplyDeleteI have always thought this blog appropriately censored mature material very well, while still maintaining the humor that (indeed) some cakes are very adult oriented!
ReplyDeleteThis post is awesome! Keep up the good work!
LOL
ReplyDeleteWith all that can be seen on the 'net, I'm surprised ANYone can say they're offended by CW.
As for the person who thinks a 9 year old does NOT know what human genitalia looks like -- get real. Sex education in school begins at 6 years old. Well, ok, maybe that's just in Catholic school where I went! Public school waits longer so the kids can experiment on their own.
If a kid hasn't seen himself naked by then, I'd really wonder about the parents and the child's hygiene.
Melody, get a grip. Or stop visiting. Sure hope you never visit Europe.
wv - sherfai -- viewing 'off color' cakes is a sherfai way to either giggle or gag...
"Listen! I really can't put the uncensored version up. (I know too many 9 year olds who read the blog.)"
ReplyDeleteAww! This just confirms my long-held belief: kids really do ruin everything.
That must be some stiff frosting there to get the happyface slider...
ReplyDeleteI honestly don't know if that's good or bad in this case.
Hey, how 'bout instead of fussing about someone's comment, we put our time to good use...like deciding how one might CUT this cake!! Serioiusly, I don't want that job!
ReplyDeletethank you Viiriäinen for the link to a very distinguished chocolateer! Do they ship internationally?
ReplyDeleteThis blog rocks, rocks, rocks! Don't change a thing. We are all thinking the same thing anyway!
Yo ImagineMel and RazorSharpLady: your NOM is showing.
hey, guys (my fellow readers)-- when ImagineMel referred to "off-color posts" yesterday, she wasn't referring to the earlier Wednesday post (two Wed posts this week, Dong and Off Color). She was talking about Tuesday's post (Ba-loony). Specifically probably the third picture down.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, there are some comments that are little over the top for family entertainment-- but hey, it's Jen & John's blog. And they do try to warn us when that is coming up. And some of the cakes do appear "inappropriate" and definitely lean towards that type of blogging. I can honestly say I don't think I'd change a single word of any thing they've posted.
I find it highly unlikely that anyone who has seriously been reading CW is JUST finding "off-color posts"-- It's part of the site and what most enjoy about it. :D
Oh my.. a cake shop that sells naughty cakes however would we live without them?? Lol that is priceless. I would die laughing before I even had a chance to order something. Love the smiley face :)
ReplyDeleteWell, the flag was decidedly off-color (in the literal sense), but there are so many much more important things at which to take offense these days that this blog just doesn't make the list.
ReplyDeleteBesides, the wreckerators produce this stuff! Spaceship Earth (I refuse to utter the E-word) posts can only go so far, thankfully.
Suppose CW was wall-to-wall Sunday Sweets. I'd get Sunday Diabetes before the first week was out.
Anyway, there are other sites displaying perfect cakes sent forth into the world by annoyingly talented people who must have undreamt-of surpluses of time, workspace and equipment. I want to see cakes made by norm-- well, people who produce something similar to what would likely occur if I attempted cake decoration. What site, other than this one, has that?
Do I love each and every post? No. Neither am I being forced to view this blog.
Have a mice day, complainers.
Oh my god, send me that picture, I am soooo making a dong cake for my boyfriends birthday on Monday! Haha! tear_jerker at hotmail dot comitty com diddly om.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sending me the *undoctored* photo! My, that's a lot of hair... at first glance, I thought it was a baby gerbil. :=)
ReplyDeleteKeep posting, Jen and John!
Dear Jen and John,
ReplyDeleteHow DARE you write suggestive posts about private parts and posting them willy nilly all over My internets? I, for one, must remain free of any and all suggestions that we, humans, are not asexual and do indeed have funny looking parts that 80% jokes in the world are based on. Please remember the needs of my virginal eyes when you write your blog from now on. I mean, I don't go turning on lights in YOUR bedroom, do I? *blink, blink.. awkward backing away"
The only thing offensive here, is the priggish notion that chocolate-glaze, roughly in the shape of a penis, would be offensive (or else 'a bad influence') on a nine-year old. Any nine-year old with an internet connection and enough sense to visit cake-wrecks has seen more and worse and in context that actually *would* be inappropriate for nine-year olds. Ackh...
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion there are always going to be things that you don't agree with/find funny/find appropriate. Do I find every post here hilarious? No. But does that stop me from checking back every day to see what's new? No. You are in control of what you see so one can easily click that little 'x' at the top of their screen if what they read isn't to their liking. It's not like you have the picture first thing; you always have some sort of description first that at least hints to the reader what kind of picture they are going to see. From there you can make your own decision whether you want to look or not. We're big kids, we can handle it I thought. I know 3 year olds who can.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, love the blog and I will be back tomorrow to check out the newest post. I won't say don't worry about those few who don't understand because when you receive criticism it's hard not to think about it. But as you said at Epbot, you probably gained more followers than you lost.
I wince (and laugh) when I see groin shots on AFV. How would I react to cutting this cake?
ReplyDeleteThank you for not putting it up. In fact, my 9 year old does read this blog. She usually misses the more adult-type humour and loves the site. I never, ever mind the jokes (I'm Canadian) and think your site is perfect. "Adult" humour and everything!
ReplyDeleteI do, however, appreciate a well placed smiley face on an obvious cake.
You guys are awesome.
In my opinion some people have such horrible and/or boring lives that they try and make people as miserable as they are. The expression "misery loves company" has to come from some where. Like many commenters have said if you dont like the blog dont read it! There are PLENTY of people who obviously love what Jen and John do here, and I am one of them. I honestly believe that if anything were changed than CW would loose a lot more readers than the few who dont like this blog as is. CW is like my coffee in the morning I cant get threw my day without it!
ReplyDeleteThank you cake wrecks for bringing the funny and for keeping it family-friendly. My kids love to look over my shoulder when I view cake wrecks, and not once have I seen anything on the site that would make me add it to my "after the kids are in bed" list. Much less anything to bring on an epic cyber-flounce complete with attention seeking announcement of said flouncing.
ReplyDeleteNow I have said my piece and I am going to go get a cup of coffee! Hmph! I hope you're satisfied.
;-)
captcha: inkew
I do not know what it means, but it seems strangely appropriate somehow.
Actually I do think that bakeries in big towns like Hamburg are way to sophisticated to display cakes like these.
ReplyDeleteBUT: there certainly seems to be a special appeal about cakes covering human body parts - for instance a cake covering female cleavage in various stages of nakedness, which is all the rage in the thread below. Beware of the pictures, of course ;)
http://www.chefkoch.de/forum/2,82,418759/Busentorten.html
Oh, and these are not donuts: they are "Nougatringe" - made with layered cookies and a nougat-buttercream. Delicious!
I love love love your posts. Especially the ones that are REALLY funny--like this one. Your commentary is well written and VERY funny. As someone else said earlier, I am way more offended and embarrassed by the utterly inexcusable illiteracy in cake writing! Please keep the REALLY funny ones coming!
ReplyDeleteLol, sometimes being German can be cool. Have to admit though, I haven't seen a cake that explicit before. But it's not bad, right? How many times do we call it a wreck because it's not anatomical correct? ^.^
ReplyDeleteMy opinion isn't worth more than anyone else's two cents, but I think you're doing a great job posting things that are funny while maintaining a family friendly/safe for work atmosphere. Keep up the great work and good luck with that balancing act you've got going :-)
ReplyDeleteYou know, I think I prefer the smiley-face version. I'm not a prude - it's just funnier this way! (Sort of like part of the humor in "The Daily Show" for me comes from the bleeped-out words - I watched it once uncensored at 1 am and it wasn't nearly as funny.)
ReplyDeleteWV word: pernic. Not making this up, honest.
My 5-year-old just said "that is a happy cake." Good thing she was talking about the smiley face!
ReplyDeleteI'm with the non-offended, please consider an "after the kids are in bed" link for those of us who would find uncensored cakes (it's CAKE people!) amusing. Although, I have noticed that for many cakes, it's John & Jen's comments that's so entertaining, the cake itself is sometimes almost beside the point :)
ReplyDeleteAs for comments about the cake: it is interesting that the woman's clothed. Maybe the baker was a newly-single female who was, um, enjoying men the only way she could right now?
Loved the comments about mouthfuls, how would you cut the cake (Bobbit-style??), 6 foot Pole, etc :)
Will you puh-leeeeze post an update letting us know how many people request that email??
ReplyDeleteI think it is sad that someone can't express their opinion about jokes without having everyone else lambast them for their personal preferences. If ImagineMel doesn't appreciate "off-color" humor, then let her express that and move on. We don't need to make nasty comments about her.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the smiley face was there. I'm glad Jen warns us when things aren't safe for kids. The off-color stuff sometimes bothers me and sometimes doesn't (depends on my mood that day). But I don't read and re-read posts that bug me and I keep reading because most everything is hilarious.
Jen, John, - keep up the good work. And commenters, let someone go without comment if they don't like something. It's not the end of the world.
Uh, thanks for sending me the uncensored Dong Cake picture.
ReplyDeleteI think I'll just have that turnover instead...
*vomit*
ReplyDeleteYou really can't show the picture? The blog is full of cakes which unintentionally look like willies, why not a cake thatintentionally looks like one?
ReplyDeleteTim
Thanks for the uber fast reply to my email! Good lord that is a giant...cake!
ReplyDeleteYou know, I find the smiley face censorship more disturbing than the possibility of seeing cake wang.
ReplyDeleteMostly because it reminds me of a certain Queens of the Stone Age music video.
The things your mind creates when there's a smiley face filling up most of the screen and rotating is actually worse than what was really happening behind that face...
Well, I've given it 24 hours thought, like all major decisions; and I've decided not to "go away", but I have an obsessive fascination with what will happen next. It's called Cake Wrecks for good reason - and I'm hooked. So, do you suppose those really ugly, misspelled cakes shame anyone? They are far more offensive than biological obsessions. Norine
ReplyDeleteAnonymous @ 12:14 said:
ReplyDelete"Hey, how 'bout instead of fussing about someone's comment, we put our time to good use...like deciding how one might CUT this cake!! Serioiusly, I don't want that job!"
I suggest getting Lorena Bobbit for the job of cutting the "cake".
~Kathy D~
wv: kaxed -- past tense of caxe (only misspelled with a k)
Thanks for the uncensored version - and I'm glad I didn't get it before bed last night. That "thing" would have given me nightmares!
ReplyDeleteRock on, Jen & John.
wv - vicalan: What I'd have to have taken a lot of in order to eat that cake.
Thanks for e-mailing me the photo, it was totally worth the effort.
ReplyDeleteOh mai..... It's been a long time since I've seen a "european one" -- but... um... why does it look upside-down? (Yeah, I managed to beg for the uncensored version).
ReplyDeleteIt's quite amusing, disturbing, and almost makes me slightly jealous..
Of course, I have a problem... I don't find it offensive at all. But I WOULD get concerned when the cake knife gets near it... almost like a bris... :)
It just goes to show that I live in one of the weirdest cities in America...here in Portland we have a Doughnut shop that sells anatomically correct doughnuts (they call them C*** and Balls...and no surprise they're cream filled). I wasn't one bit shocked :-)
ReplyDeleteIf you're ever in PDX check them out...tasty! http://voodoodoughnut.com/
After living in Berlin for 2 years I so want to see that cake :)
ReplyDeleteIs it cream filled?
ReplyDeletePS, I live in a city in Australia called Wangaratta, known by locals as Wang.
I made an elaborately sculpted dong cake once for a friend. I didn't put pics in my gallery for obvious reasons, but I used to list it and say people could email me for it. I got way, way, wayyyyyyy too many requests. Then I changed the listing to say I would not email pics anymore. I *still* got way, way, wayyyyyyyyyyyy too many requests. So I took the listings down.
ReplyDeletePeople really like twinkies. That's all I have to say about that.
You can see a bit of the uncensored dong cake in the reflection on the glass behind it... XD
ReplyDeleteThats too funny. Perv cakes! lol xx
ReplyDeletegute gute gute
ReplyDeleteOh my god i read your first line and i had just finished telling my son TYLER to stop hitting his sister MADISON!! then you made it much more fun with the GIANT smiley face!! Thanks
ReplyDeleteThere's this bakery in Seattle, WA, that specializes in "off-color" cakes"...
ReplyDeleteWhen I first saw those kinds of things I just had to create a name for them: "marziporn"
ReplyDeleteJenL