And yet...
Yeeeeah.
Er, sorry, but I'm afraid writing it doesn't make it true.
Well, I AM seeing something that starts with a "B"...[looking around] Er...
[waving] Hi, kids!
Dude. Are those teeth?
You know what to do when you see packs of wild balloons running in opposite directions, right?Thaaat's right: Check the expiration on all your prescription meds.
Look at this next Wreck long enough, and you'll begin to ask yourself some interesting questions:
Questions like, "Which way is up? Which way is down? Is that green circle supposed to be the string? And if so, why aren't the balloons attached to it? Hey, am I being Punk'd here? Is that show even ON anymore? And where did my friends go? Do I seem strange, standing here alone in this bakery, questioning a cookie? Answer me, random old woman walking by! ANSWER ME!! "Oh. Sorry. Well, I didn't know you were called Dennis, now did I?"
Look out, Kerri. They've organized, and they're coming.Which reminds me:
I bet it's a girl.Early C., Tracy C., Heather P., Tiffany H., Vikki, Kim M., Kerri K., & Stacey, I'd say something about the sprinkles, but that just seems rude, you know?
These balloons make me feel MUCH better about my Up cupcakes with balloons on them. They slightly looked like grapes, but they were better than these!
ReplyDeleteNo. They are not teeth. I may be too delicate to say what they are, though.
ReplyDeleteAhahaha, Dennis. Thanks for the Holy Grail tie-in; it made my morning.
ReplyDeleteNo, they're not teeth...they're tampons.
ReplyDeleteOMG too funny! LOTS of sperm balloons today...and some that look like Christmas lights (on the green loop of "string")
ReplyDelete#1 deflated balloons or wimpy bouquet?
#3 boobs, sperm, or eyeballs with trailing nerves? I can't decide....
#4 eyes with leaky pupils or *gasp* TAMPONS???
#5 those are some plump sperm, er balloons, with very active tails, er, string. segregating themselves by color, racing to opposite ends of the color wheel perhaps? warm colors here, cool colors there....they look like they repel each other!
the white things on the pink-circled cake are tampons (unused). I know how those look like.
ReplyDeleteI think that fourth wreck looks like something that ladies use during their time of month...
ReplyDelete'Are those teeth?'
ReplyDelete...not my first thought. Not my first thought at all. Though the 't' was right.
Heck, *I* could do a better job making icing balloons than these idiots, and I've never decorated a cake in my life! The one batch looked like demented eyeballs, and the rest looked mostly like...sperm. Or deformed sperm.
ReplyDeleteWV: ulaidism. I'm not even going to go there.
Moistest? Two of those cakes say "moistest" and that's horrifying. I already hated the word moist and that just takes it into nightmare-inducing territory.
ReplyDeleteTeeth or tampons?
ReplyDeleteI despise frosting balloons! They always look obscene or fecal in some way, and never, ever do they actually look like balloons. If you want to give someone balloons for their birthday, WHY DON'T YOU BUY THEM ACTUAL BALLOONS?!?!
ReplyDeleteCome here, nice little cake decorator... see this lovely white coat? Such a nice coat. Put one arm in here...
ReplyDeleteLove the Monty Python reference!
ReplyDeleteYou see teeth, I see tampons - even wreckier!!!!
ReplyDeleteOn that last one, I'd say it's septuplets. It looks to me like seven little swimmers made it past the finish line.
ReplyDeleteI hope those are teeth, because that's actually more appealing than what I think they look like...
ReplyDeleteAwesome wit for a Tuesday!
ReplyDeleteHelp, Help! I'm being repressed.
Are they teeth? or tampons?
ReplyDeleteUmmm - I don't think those are teeth. They are more feminine hygiene-y to me (in keeping with the "hi kids sentiment of the previous pic ;)
ReplyDelete#4 looks like feminine hygiene products....YUCK
ReplyDeleteNot teeth; tampons. What better way to "have a happy period" than to eat a tampon-adorned cookie cake?
ReplyDeleteto answer the question, "dude, are those teeth?" it seems to me they look more like tampons. I have never seen tampons on a cake. Nor do I ever want to see tampons on a cake. And now, they make all the other balloons look "used". so sad. so very, very sad. who could have imagined that balloon making was so difficult??
ReplyDeleteKeri's balloons are pretty good, compared to everything else here. I think what distubs me the most, however, is that I"m not sure what the first one is. Is it a cookie? Is it a pie? It kind of looks like pie to me. Who decorates pie? Pie is fine on it's own! Let it be.. please wreckerators, let it be.
ReplyDelete*ahem* sorry, I've composed myself now.
I think the third from the bottom is supposed to be Christmas lights. Not that that is any excuse for how wrecky they still look, but that would answer why they're connected.
ReplyDeleteLooks more like sorry dude we tried to be fake but had to show you in the cake that it really is not a good job lol!
ReplyDelete#1 is a picture of colored cotton swabs.
ReplyDelete#4...I'm afraid those are tampons.
What's the B-word implied for #3? All I see are eyeballs with pieces of... oh, right, brains.
ReplyDeleteI guess #3 is an eyes cream cake. Or an eye scream cake.
ReplyDeleteWV: grave -- Enough said.
Just reinforces the theory that cake decorators should have to pass a licensing test:
ReplyDelete1. create a shell border
2. create a balloon
3. write "Happy Birthday" in block letters
4. write "Happy Birthday" in cursive
5. create a rose
6. remove the rose and repair icing
7. create a straight line using each piping tip
Okay, maybe #7 is too complicated for beginners. We'll save that one for the CCD license exam (Certified Cake Decorator).
The circle of ballons on the cookie look like vegetables to me. The blue-ish purple-y balloons look like eggplants, the yellow ones look like turnips, and the red ones look like misshapen tomatoes.
ReplyDeleteBecause when you're about to eat a giant cookie, you want to be reminded to eat your veggies!
The one you said looks like teeth makes me think of tampons....
ReplyDeleteOkay, I'm familiar with "good jorb," but you lost me with "good job-ge"
ReplyDeletePicture #3 looks like penthouse boobies and #4 is more the national geographic variety.
ReplyDeleteThere must be a certain technique to making balloons.
ReplyDeleteGuess these poor wreckorators didn't get briefed on said technique. Some of them look like someone put down a blob of icing and then smeared it vaguely downwards with their thumb.
And I think this calls for another ban: The Cookie Cake. (ptooi!)
EPCOT!!!
ReplyDeleteuh... i mean...
TAMPONS!!!
btw, the idea of a cookie with frosting just sounds disgusting. ewwwww.
cookie + ice cream= yummy
cookie + frosting= toothache (tampon-ache?? lol)
This seems like the right time to recount the time I was blowing up balloons at work and a woman in her 50's comes in with a bag of balloons she wants us to fill for her son's bachelor party. Giant breast balloons. My coworker had to block the door because it was so awkward, filling boobie balloons in the grocery store. Needless to say we stuffed them in 3 trash bags and taped paper over it all so she could get home with them. Good times.
ReplyDeleteARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.'
ReplyDeleteDENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the behind you looked--
Cakewrecks and Monty Python. A match made in heaven! *clinks wineglasses together*
WV: "babifi" - When you tawk wike dis, you "babifi" youw speech. (Or you sound wike Baba Wawa.) Weawwy!
So glad I'm not the only one who looked at the 'teeth' and thought 'tampons'... Ugh.
ReplyDeleteThe "teeth?" one totally looks like tampons... oh my.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah. Those are DEFINITELY tampons.
ReplyDeleteThose aren't sprinkles, they're chromosomes.
ReplyDeleteMONTY PYTHON REFERANCE.
ReplyDeletei think the cookie with the green string is actually supposed to be Christmas lights (the other cakes around it seem Christmasy)
ReplyDeleteno, this doesn't explain why half of them aren't attached, just why there is a green string :)
Ahh, Monty... now I have an excuse to go watch it again, just to get these images out of my head.
ReplyDeleteNot saying much, as everyone else voiced my opinions. Thoughts. Life-scarring visions.
I wonder if it could be a tie in to why my eye doc said I'm going blind?
~~Di
wv - krapso -- you figure it out - you're smart
Look out Kerri, Billy's Ballooon is after you! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fpc5vgi9zbM (Warning, don't be drinking near your keyboard for this one!)
ReplyDeleteHa ha... Dennis.... good one
ReplyDeleteglad to know I'm not the only one seeing tampons there lol
ReplyDeleteim a fan of the tampon cake ... maybe for a preteen girl ?? marking her ummm... adulthood??
ReplyDeleteI like how, on Kerri's cake, they didn't have room for the Y, so they just stuck it on the balloon
ReplyDeletewv: alsor - and alsor, the last one makes me LOL!
The only way this could have been improved would have been to give us this gift on a Monday.
ReplyDeleteFun to see my name spelled correctly on something! (Kerri)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Count Mockula. Those weren't teeth. Imagine them with white strings (instead of black) and you will understand what I saw.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why, but when I saw photo #5, with the balloons going in opposite directions, I immediately was reminded of the opening scene of West Side Story. Actually, come to think of it that might be because those were the colors the gangs were wearing in the movie.
ReplyDeleteim sure someone had to have seen this... but those teeth are totally tampons!
ReplyDelete@dietplaid: Your story is sad and so wrong! A mother being involved with her son's bachelor party is not right and eeewww-inducing on SO MANY levels. And who thought it was a good idea to ask a grocery store employee to blow up boobie balloons (actually, the mother providing the boobie balloons is eeewww-inducing, as well)? How does a customer explain that sight to her little one as she rolls past the party department? My suggestion would have been for the son's mother to go to the party store and purchase the home helium tank so she could inflate them herself. Some people have no pride...
ReplyDeleteNo. 4 could be saggy boobies with tassels.
ReplyDeletethe 4th one down (teeth?) looks like tampons!
ReplyDeleteand i think the last one is a bunch of sperm all reaching the egg at the same time!!!!
I'm thinking just maybe these wreckerators do things like this on purpose...
ReplyDelete"Ok, Bevis -- we get the oval balloons with the squiggly string. But turning the cake sideways for display is just overkill. Go have some coffee."
yeah, I saw tampons too... guess i'm not as delicate as Count Mockula, ha!
ReplyDeleteMust be the "cookie effect" on those ballons. All the hideous balloons were on cookies were they not?
ReplyDeleteThe segregated ones,which actually looked quite balloonish, were the only ones on a cake.
Yeah. No balloons for the cookies.
WV: cheakin
I think some of those wreckerators were cheakin.
Do those cakes say "moistest"? It might technically be a word but gaw is it awkward to say. Not exactly genius advertising there.
ReplyDeleteThe fourth balloon looks like tampons!
ReplyDeleteI don't think those were teeth, they looked more like...
ReplyDelete*checks for kids, sees none*
tampons
These balloons confuse and terrify me.
ReplyDeleteAnd they're no even the burst-y kind 0_0.
@Chonte, if you look at the other comments before yours, you weren't the only one who noticed the tampon cake.
ReplyDeleteThese are some really scary cakes.
The white ones there don't look like teeth at all! They definitely look like tampons to me!
ReplyDeleteThose aren't teeth... they are tampons! (apparently everyone else thinks so too!) :)
ReplyDeletenow when someone has a sperm density test for fertility purposes, sometime under the microscope they look a little gimpy. or swim in circles.
ReplyDeleteSome of these samples (er balloons) remind me of what that might look like. and the cookie (or cake) is just one big petri dish.
the blue ones and red ones on the bottom look like nice, healthy, active sperm, strongly swimming in the same direction. those are fertile cakes.
well why NOT have tampons on a cake? there's already been a pregnancy test on a cake! at least the tampons weren't real...
ReplyDeleteWhat I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior!
ReplyDeleteThe which way is up one depicts an eggplant patch.
ReplyDelete"Oh, King, eh? Very nice! And 'ow'd you get that then? By exploiting the workers! By 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society! If there's ever going to be any progress..."
ReplyDelete"Ooh, Dennis! There's some lovely filth down 'ere! Oh... how d'you do?"
Thanks- I quoted Monty Python all day at work. I'm not sure my coworkers knew I was THAT far gone. *GRIN*
Awesome. My favorite so far.
ReplyDeleteThe ones that you said look like teeth, actually look like tampons to me. LOL
ReplyDeleteGreat blog setup you have here!
ReplyDeleteThat last cake is totally a depiction of sperm fertilizing an egg. See, the sperm-balloon all the way to the left, its attached itself to the zona pellucidia of the egg and is undergoing an acrosome reaction - note the sprinkes representing the contents of the corticle granules.
ReplyDeleteThe "tooth" picture looked more like tampons to my friends and I ... who wasted about an hour this morning after a STRESSFUL meeting on your site. Thanks for the laughs! :)
ReplyDeleteBalloon-fail cakes are just tops! But none of these live up to the cake with the teeny-tiny balloons you featured last year, which still reigns as my personal favorite wreckiest of wrecks.
ReplyDeletethe third one is not balloons at all (or boobies) it is clearly eyeballs pulled out of their sockets with veins hanging off of them.
ReplyDeleteThird cake: disembodied eyes, complete with optic nerve.
ReplyDeleteFourth cake: As Whitney observed, actually, they're tampons.
WV - dereq: Dereq of a giant cookie is somewhat less tragic, but still...
Good god, what is wrong with people? At least they did not look like the balloons in your book ;)
ReplyDeletepretty sure some of those "balloons" running in a circle are actually eggplant, tomatoes, and squash. It's for happy vegetable day... because a cookie is the appropriate thing to serve on a day that's all about healthy foods.
ReplyDeleteAre the cake balloon designers on strike? Cuz these all look like they're not even trying...
ReplyDelete"Thaaat's right: Check the expiration on all your prescription meds."
ReplyDeleteLOL!
Have I properly told you how much I appreciate your fine taste in music, movies, and pop culture overall? No? Then here...
ReplyDeleteMONTY PYTHON FTW!!
yup, didn't see teeth first glance, either-then I realized the strings were how they were yanked out...(awkward silence)
ReplyDelete-Barbara Anne
You know, there's this joke where the punch line is:
ReplyDelete"They're not condoms! They're balloons! For the party!" I think that's pretty applicable for exhibit 4.
Can't believe no one's said it- "OK guys, we'll take the left fallopian tube, y'all take the right!" Go find that egg, guys!
ReplyDeleteAw those balloons running away from each other just want to avoid the moistest cake you have ever had.. or whatever that ad said on them lol. Too busy laughing at the ones that looked like boobs. Scary how a wreckerator can turn a balloon into a boob but I am amazingly not surprised by that turn of events..can't stop laughing...
ReplyDeleteNo, I bet it's a GRIL.
ReplyDeleteno dude, those are feminine products
ReplyDeleteDarnit! Amy beat me to it. It probably is a gril.
ReplyDeleteSupreme executive power derived from a mandate of the masses, not some farcical cake ceremony!
ReplyDeleteBE QUIET!
As an ex-grocery store decorator, I gotta admit balloons were the bane of my job! I NEVER figured out how to make those buggers look nice.
ReplyDeleteIronically, I was reading this while watching a Daily Show report on how we're running out of helium, and the future of party balloons is in danger! At least we'll be spared these wrecks?
ReplyDeleteLMBO! The "Teeth" balloons look more like a cotton product only women use... which makes that design even less yummy. But its wrecks like these that make me addictedto the site! Thanks for the morning chuckle!
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone really enjoy eating these giant, frosted chocolate chip cookies? I'm always amazed that these still sell. Seriously, they are way too sweet and taste....gaudy. You know?
ReplyDelete"I love that one, too, with the balloons all pink with cheese on them!"
ReplyDeleteMy four year old enjoys that last one, but the rest were too weird for her. Not enough cheese, perhaps.
No, not "it's a girl." It a Gril!
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting a selection of balloon cakes the same day my mom almost died from contact with a latex balloon! And yes, that thanks is sincere - It cheered her up to know that there are still balloons out there that are so inept that they couldn't possibly be murderers!
ReplyDeleteWV: Dillesp - A pickle with a speech impediment.
Uhm... the white "teeth" look like tampons...
ReplyDeleteHaha! My name is Kerri, so this is awesome because I hardly ever see it spelled this way on stuff-now it's been wreckerated! YAY!
ReplyDeleteTHIS is exactly why I hated working at a retail bakery in a grocery store. The "wreck"maker I worked with was horrible and was the "head designer" who was supposed to be "teaching" me... after I'd been decorating for over 5 years.
ReplyDeleteShe made things to put in the display case that customers would literally look at and ask, "Ummm... WHAT IS THAT?" Sadly, most of the time, I had NO idea!
Oooh, don't think I didn't catch the Monty Python reference there!
ReplyDeleteDo boob balloons exist yet? Somebody should get on that.
ReplyDeletePsst, Word Verification: "reasusn" isn't a word. Even if you have seen it written on a cake...
Tampons/Epcot....
ReplyDeleteTomato/Tomahto
~Kathy D~
I'm glad I'm not the only one who saw tampons.
ReplyDeleteIt's the ATTACK OF THE RAINBOW SPERM!!!! RUN FOR IT!!!
ReplyDeleteI was thinking maybe tampons not teeth....
ReplyDeleteWhat's with the tampon cake???
ReplyDeleteThank Heaven I'm not the only one that saw tampons on that one. I feel much better now.
ReplyDelete@jo I've got a name for it! Eyeboobsperm
ReplyDeleteSo many stages of mitosis/meiosis represented on cakes. It makes 9th grade science teachers proud.
ReplyDeleteLol Yup... seeing tampons there lol xx
ReplyDelete#5 looks like anaphase in mitosis. See?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dartmouth.edu/~cbbc/courses/bio4/bio4-lectures/images/mitosis.JPG
Eesh, makes me afraid to talk to my friends when they talk about wanting balloons at thier b-day party. BTW, is it possible to have HALF a balloon? My friends are dying to have one!!!
ReplyDeleteFriend: "I want a half balloon! Is that possible?"
Me: "You just gotta cut a normal one in half and add a flat side to the open side."
Friend: "I WANT one!!!!"
-B
On picture number 1, if you look real close it says '$8.00'
ReplyDelete:D LOL
Jane age 10
Ok, as always, too funny!
ReplyDeleteThanks for my morning laugh!