Warning: Parents, hide your kids. But not necessarily your wives.
There's a lot being said about Charlie Sheen right now - although one could argue that most of it is being said by Charlie Sheen. And while a lot of it might seem a bit crazy, I think you'll find his statements all make perfect sense...when applied to the right cake.
So, in the words of Charlie Sheen, "Just sit back and enjoy the show."
"Most of the time - and this includes naps - I'm an F-18."
"If people could just read behind the hieroglyphic ... if they could put their cryptology frickin' hat on just for two seconds..."

"I've got tiger blood, man."

"Resentments...are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber."

"I've been a veteran of the unspeakable."
"I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars."

"They picked a fight with a warlock."

"We're Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be?"

"I have one speed. I have one gear: Go."

"The only thing I'm addicted to is winning."
"I am on a drug. It's called 'Charlie Sheen.'"

"Duh! WINNING."
Thanks to Jennifer D., Gideon S., Lauren W., Katie S., Kathryn R., Tosha S., Angela M., Rebecca J., Anthea H., I.W., & Amy H., who are ALL bi-winning.
Update from john: The Hieroglyphic cake apparently says 'Happy Birthday' in Gujarati, a language common in Western India. How it ended up in a display case in a chain store in Maryland, though, is still beyond us.
Update from john: The Hieroglyphic cake apparently says 'Happy Birthday' in Gujarati, a language common in Western India. How it ended up in a display case in a chain store in Maryland, though, is still beyond us.
I haven't been following the Sheen story but you've summed it up nicely. Go, Super Bowel!
ReplyDeleteOMG that last one ROCKS!
ReplyDeleteIt think the second cake says: "snot us", but I don't know what the "c," is in the upper right corner.
ReplyDeleteThat's so lame that Charlie actually posted that last pic on his Twitter page. Poor guy. Maybe he just needs a slice of that Super Bowel cake.
ReplyDeleteHAHA. I never post but the WV was too good to past up. "duedic"
ReplyDeleteSure looks like that baby has a leaky diaper - anyone else think that it looks like he is having super bowel trouble? I hear that the Charlie Sheen drug can cause this...
ReplyDeleteI saw one of those "No Intelligent Life" cakes at a certain Krocery store last year. The main difference was that it was spelled "INTELLGENT" which really added a little something special. :-)
ReplyDeleteSpace shuttle – ~snort~ to boldly go…
wv: ghtem, as in "Your worst enemy is having a birthday? Let's ghtem a cake wreck!"
- DB
The Rocket in my pants cake looks more like a bicycle seat than a space shuttle to me. Maybe someone left some CK biking shorts on top of their bike seat? No? oh....
ReplyDeleteI have now learned that anything can be forgiven if letter-frosted on a cake.
ReplyDeleteJen, I love you.
ReplyDeleteThat is all...
That Vatican assassin looks an awful lot like Elton John.
ReplyDeleteI think the second one says "NOT US", with a couple of the squiggles to close to the N.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what it means, or what's with the squiggles.
Maybe that one cake is in Russian??
ReplyDeleteThe disco fever one was more like a zombie from MJ's Thriller.
And the underwear cake? Actually really well done... amazing detail... *snort*
Wait, wait, wait. Charlie Sheen had an Oscars Party? With CAKE?
ReplyDeleteDude knows how to party...
Best. Wreck. Post. Ever. And you didn't even have to write it!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant commentary. Hilarious. And so are those cakes.
ReplyDeleteThe second image says Happy Birthday in Hindi (well, the script is Devnagari, used by hindi among various Indian languages). It's got a typo, so still a cake wreck!
ReplyDeleteAmanda, it's not Russian. One of the "letters" looks like a flipped Russian letter, but it's nothing like Russian otherwise.
ReplyDeleteTrevor, love your explanation of the bicycle seat. It totally looks like that.
Today, it was a lil embarrassing to be called Samantha O.o
ReplyDelete(Not much of an anonymous post, hu)
@laughingmom ROTFLOL! YES I noticed that. You said it best!
ReplyDeleteA shuttle? Looks more like two & 1/2 men in there to me!
Just like the baby cakes, body part cakes are just wrong....who wants a slice of boob or penis? O.o
wv: exiess: Charlie Sheen parties to exiess.
So glad they didn't use chocolate frosting in the super bowel.
ReplyDeleteI'm also guessing that the hieroglyphics one was in Sanskrit or something.
I also thought the space shuttle looked more like a giant nose. At any rate, I think perhaps an ER visit may be in order.
This is the most sense Charlie Sheen has made in a while!
ReplyDeleteI so thought the baby was peeing on the priest for a moment. And I can't believe that this Charlie Sheen meltdown is so out there in the media that it even ended up on Cake Wrecks! Remember when celebrities used to have breakdowns in private and then write a book about it?
ReplyDeleteOK, enough Charlie Sheen jokes. Mocking the insane is a little cheap.
ReplyDeleteIt IS pretty doggone funny to match his quotes with the cakes, though.
awesome. love. nuthing but love. You are WINNING!
ReplyDeletewv - wifige - 1) what Charlie Sheen threatens to do to his ex-wives. 2) Having wifi.
I'm CRYING at the Super Bowel cake. And I'm totally getting one for my hubby, who has Chron's. LMAO!!!
ReplyDeleteI was hoping, when I read the title of this post, that it would be about the infamous Charlie Sheen. Score!
ReplyDeleteSo the Super Bowel cake has got to be one of the funniest I've ever seen.
And also, whoever sent the "Sorry I peed on your bed" cake has got the right idea; surely, an apology written on a cake will brighten anyone's day; forget the fact that your bed now smells of urine.
Good golly. You have outdone yourself! I didn't know if it was possible, but this proves it. *kneeling, bowing abjectively* We're not worthy! We're not worthy!
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing so hard, I'm crying.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, Sheen is - in the phrase of the great classic author J.K. Rowling - "nutty as squirrel poo."
Have cakes matched to his words, though, is to achieve a level of sublime comedic glory that I though was in impossible in this mortal realm. Well done. :-)
Jen, you make my day with your scathing comments! The Super Bowel cake is a work of art! Football isn't that popular here in Canada, but my boys would go wild over this cake just because of the trail of #2 swirls and the chocolate doo-doo football log in the corner (what can I say, they're boys...). I'll have to figure out how to work this into a Stanley Cup theme...
ReplyDeleteThis entire post is full of WIN, start to finish.
ReplyDeleteIt's also very nearly as full of Charlie Sheen as is Mr. Sheen himself.
WV - Undine.
http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/614337/undine.
Maybe Charlie Sheen is the distaff version of an Undine. Happily for him, since the man he fell for is himself, he'll never have to worry about his true love being unfaithful...
Oh good lord
ReplyDeleteIf that fourth cake stays like that for more than 4 hours, it should really be sent to a physician!
ReplyDeleteYou'd think I'd be used to the Charlie madness by now but I'm still lol'ing at the wizard comment he made. Apparently I can believe he can lock a hooker in a closet, but I can't believe he said that. XD
ReplyDeleteLove today's cakes.
ReplyDeleteI had to post: wv: fantech
I'm fantech of Cake Wrecks solely for the bright spot in my day.
Best use yet of the Sheen narcissism! Before I found him boring and tiresome. At last he's of interest.
ReplyDeleteI am wondering exactly what Samantha will be doing to celebrate her birthday, hmmmm?
WV: Judeon. An anti-semitic moron.
ReplyDeleteThat "Happy 21st" birthday cake is QUITE ... uh... yeah. Wow.
ReplyDeleteAs for Mr. Sheen, I used to like him. Then he went nuts.
wv - condsish
Charlie doesn't have a "disease", he has an alcohol/drug/sex/winning dependency condsish.
Jen - my hat is off to you and your ability to be u[ to the minute topical. "Winning!"
ReplyDeleteThis should get an award!!! love it!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite one is the Super Bowel!! Charlie Sheen is a train wreck, so sad...he has talent in his veins, along with whatever else he's shooting up!
ReplyDeleteWe have a huge Indian community here in MD, that's how.
ReplyDeletelol at every cake.
Oops, gotta go...Charlie is tweeting.
I've been poking fun at Charlie for the past couple of days. It's easy to do. I must now share these with those that have not yet discovered the awesomeness that is Cake Wrecks. I thank you for joining in the good time that is poking fun at Charlie!
ReplyDeleteYOU are brilliant. Simply ... brilliant. :)
ReplyDeleteThe second cake DOES NOT use Hindi. It says "Happy Birthday" in an Indian language called Gujarati.
ReplyDeleteI was eating lunch and those cakes almost made a veggie wrap come out my nose
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to the actual Sheen cake? Did the goddesses scrape off bits? Splatter paint it with nose candy? I can't really tell.
ReplyDeletePerfect summation!
ReplyDeleteI think Samantha's cake has something with batteries under the fondant, and not rice krispie treats.
ReplyDelete#3 "Wow, this job is easy! All you have to do is upend a vat of strawberry glop over each one, and you're done in no time!"
ReplyDelete#4 When Samantha's nose itches, anything can happen. In this case, Darren got super-sized. Maybe this is the companion cake to 'Huge Me'?
#5 Looks like the dancer got tagged -- how appropriate.
#6 "No Intelligent Life" -- in this bakery!
#7 Not many people know that 'Harry Potter' was originally played by Peter Lorre -- it involves time travel and is kind of complicated to explain.
#9 I think the border pretty much says the same thing as the message.
#10 Which is worse -- to do that, or to make a cake about it? It's a toss-up.
#11 Meh.
Sometimes, 15 minutes of fame can seem like 15 decades. When Salvador Dali said, "I am the drug -- take me!" it was witty. In this case...?
I'll have what Samantha is having . . .
ReplyDeleteMy apologies to Bruno Mars because I do like his song but this seemed to fit.
ReplyDeleteOh your eyes, your eyes
When you look at the camera they really scare us
Your mind, your mind
Is on another planet but it’s not near us
We know you have tiger blood
You tell us every day.
Oh we know, we know
When we say you’re crazy
You won’t believe us
It’s so, it’s so
Sad to think what you’re kids had to witness
Every time you mention Mars, we roll our eyes
And say
When we hear you speak,
The whole world stops and laughs at you
Charlie Sheen you’re crazy
Just the way you are.
And when you crash
The whole world will understand
Dude you’re psychotic
Just the way you are.
I am not reading 50 comment if somebody has already said this. The text on second picture is not assemble of some cryptic shapes. It is actually written "happy Birthday" in Devanagari script .The language Gujarati(i of official 15 languages of India) is written in Devnagri script.The surprising/hilarious aspect is that they chose not to translate "happy birthday" phrase in Gujarati but just write it as it is in Devnagari script. We do that in informal writing like texting and stuff but not somewhere on public display.
ReplyDeleteWow. Sure way to mess with someone you just stayed with....send them a cake that you wet their bed! Of course you didn't do it, but would they know? I think not.
ReplyDeleteHmm.I guess I have to mention that I did not see other cakes or update before I posted my triumphant last comment. Was so excited to see that that I just had to jump and let everybody know.
ReplyDeleteLooks like Samantha is a lucky girl.
ReplyDeleteNot so sure about her choice of friends, tho.
is that last one really a cake????
ReplyDeletethis has to be the greatest. post. EVER!!!!
ReplyDeleteWV--brendea---the name of Charlie Sheens next "goddess"
I get the joke, but this time I'm not really feeling it. I truly think that Charlie Sheen is bipolar. I've known a few bipolar people and this is EXACTLY how they talked and acted when they went off their medication. Perhaps the illegal drugs and alcohol had been helping to keep it in check. Now he is on nothing and the manic part of Charlie is being exposed. No one is trying to help Charlie by getting him some medication. They are all having too much fun making fun of him and watching him crash and burn. He needs help. He doesn't need to be made fun of. I saw it happen to my friends.
ReplyDeleteI loved the "Super Bowel" and the space shuttle... OMG today's post is awesome! I need to share this in my FB.
ReplyDeleteCharlie is so out of control. All the dope and smack he's done has fried his brain and he doesn't even realize it.
This post surely is worthy of an award.
the Super Bowel cake is awesome!
ReplyDeleteWhat did poor Samantha do to deserve that freakishly-large-organ-and-bleeding-stump-legs cake? How would you like to be greeted by that on your 21st birthday?
ReplyDeleteSixxlet,
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid I have to disagree. I've known a few bipolar people as well and I truly believe that Charlie Sheen is doing this for the attention. He has started using his Twitter feed in a far more self promoting, far less crazy way. As they say in marketing, "Say anything you want about me as long as you spell my name right."
I think you need to be careful when diagnosing someone as bipolar. It may be that this particular individual is actually just an attention-starved, over-sexed, drug-abusing, spoiled brat with delusions of grandeur.
Or maybe he's just nuts.
john
Charlie IS one Super Bowel, Rock Star From Another Planet!!
ReplyDelete;)
Bonercake FTW.
ReplyDeleteToo, too funny.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jen!
Ha, my favorite post in a while. "Rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber" made me laugh out loud.
ReplyDeleteOMG really like the last one, haha!
ReplyDeleteThis post is a corker! There aren't many cakes that could leave me speechless but that first one is just...?!?!?! All I can say is WHY???
ReplyDeleteThe second cake says "Happy Birthday" in the Gujrati language/script (a North Indian language) :) I enjoy every day at Cake Wrecks! Keep them coming!
ReplyDeleteLooks like upside-down Cyrillic to me.
ReplyDeleteI've got three comments on these:
ReplyDelete1) The thing in the pants cake looks like a nose.
2) Hasn't the Harry Potter cake been posted before?
3) The caption on the spaceship cake is oddly fitting: "No intelligent life."
This rocks
ReplyDeleteThe second cake says "Happy Birthday" in Gujrati, a North Indian language with its own script. Thanks for the great blog, please keep them coming!
ReplyDeleteNot really in the mood to laugh at an addicted person due to some issues with people I love, so I haven't really been following the Sheen Saga too much. That said, this is a hilarious post. It also makes sense of several odd phrases I've been seeing pop up in my newsfeed over the last couple of days, so thanks for helping out with that. :)
ReplyDeleteI actually love Samantha's cake. Is it tasteless? Yes. But it's also hilarious and decently executed. That one is all about context. If it says "Happy 4th Birthday, Samantha!" we've got a problem. It's actually quite classy compared to a lot of bachelorette party, uh, refreshments. (Speaking of which... have you done a bachelorette party post before? Talk about needing to hide the kids!)
--kate
I'll bet Tom Hanks is relieved ...
ReplyDeleteAs much as I love Cake Wrecks, I'm so bloody tired of all this Charlie Sheen nonsense. And I hate the fact that even Cake Wrecks got into it.
ReplyDeleteSeems like I can't go to many of my favorite sites anymore without having to be subjected to it. Oh well, I guess. Hopefully it'll blow over by next month. Guess I'll stay away from most of my sites 'til then.
Anon @ 8:51,
ReplyDeleteOne day. One. Day.
I'm sorry you didn't like it.
john
Loved the plane crash cake with the flames!
ReplyDeleteIs Charlie Sheen the new Tom Cruise? I think so. :)
ReplyDeleteHaven't been following the Sheen Scene, and now I don't have to, cuz Cake Wrecks has filled me in. ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh, yeah, and the pee cake is very nicely done, but makes me want to know that back story... sort of....
Well played!!
ReplyDeleteLove it!
I think Samantha asked for a "crotch rocket" for her birthday and someone did not understand the request.....
ReplyDeleteTrying to get the baby asleep as I sit at the computer... luckily I didn't wake her when I burst out laughing at the Harry Potter cake that followed the warlock quote. Hilarious!
ReplyDelete-Kathy
i think that last one would be a border-line wreck even without his face on it.
ReplyDeleteJohn,
ReplyDeleteYou're awesome.
By the way, cakes are over-represented on this site. Can't you guys cover other baked goods once in a while?* Thanks for attending to that. Wreck on!
* ;-)
Is that Charlie Sheen holding up that last cake?? Lmao he has made it to Cake Wrecks and should be honored. I can't stop chuckling at the Super Bowel cake. Wonderful wreckerators have lost their marbles at last :D
ReplyDeleteloved it! He certainly is a train wreck, but I think i'll cope with a plane wreck instead.
ReplyDeleteWV: it's not nice of you to "tomont" poor Charlie Sheen. However, it looks set to become the latest national sport! :D
Wow. Unless they're all very very good friends who planned this beforehand, I'm sorry for either Samantha or her guests.
ReplyDelete"Welcome to my 21st birthday party. Have a slice of tumescent human penis!"
I hope it's not a red velvet cake.
Word verification: keying. What Samantha might well have done to the car of somebody who decided to surprise her with this cake.
Jenny Islander
i lmfao at the um ... rockect pants cake ... and the "sorry i peed in ur bed cake" WOW that's just weird and gross
ReplyDeletehahahahahahahaha I haven't listened to all his quotes, but these are awesome.
ReplyDeletewhat I want to know is, why is there a giant nose inside those boxer shorts?!
ReplyDeleteAh, brilliant as always.
ReplyDeleteAll aboard the Sheen Trainwreck Express!!!
John, Jen & Number One... I mean really - who do you think you are? You jump on this Sheen bandwagon and harrass us with it for ONE DAY. One. Day. How very daaarree you. ;)
ReplyDeleteMy favourite thing about all this (and I haven't been following it, but I appreciate the cake-y summation!) is a local radio personality declaring that he "loves this Sheen scene, and that while it WILL end badly, and he (the radio host) will look insensitive when it does, he just loves the entertainment."
Oh, and as a previous commenter stated... football really isn't that big here in Canada. Neither is hockey, or beer, or sex. It's just how us Canadians are. Bahaha.
Rita @ 2:17 a.m.:
ReplyDelete"Tomont" is an actual word.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomont
It's one of the stages in the life cycle of certain protazoans.
Oh, man, that "Super Bowel" got me! Most of the time I get a good chuckle, but that made me laugh so loud I'm afraid my office-mates are worried.
ReplyDeleteThat "Super Bowel" made me laugh so hard! Oh, man, I think I disturbed the rest of the office.
ReplyDeleteJohn, it is your right to disagree, but have you ever witnessed your friend go off his/her medication? It's possible that the drugs and alcohol were keeping the bipolar in check somehow for Charlie. I've seen quite a few people off of their bipolar meds, and this is how they act. Everything is GREAT and GRANDIOSE. Everything is perfect and they are WINNING. Oh, and they spout tons of nonsense, too. Then the mania wears off and the depression hits. I think if someone really cared about him (his girlfriends or family) they would get him to a psychiatrist stat. I hate that his 'friends' are just playing along with this.
ReplyDeleteAnon @ 1:59,
ReplyDeleteMost of the time when I've seen my friends off their meds, they are near catatonic with depression in bed. I'm sure there are cases in which the opposite is true but I've not seen them.
Now to Mr. Sheen. The fact is, he is using all this press to his advantage. He's now advertising on Twitter and making a good deal of money. Honestly, these seem like the symptoms of someone milking the system. My only point is that assuming someone, especially an actor, who is acting crazy is bipolar is like assuming someone with a migraine has a brain tumor. It's armchair diagnostics.
Again, no offense or disrespect to you or your friends. I just think you might be off the mark when it comes to this guy.
john
p.s. Put your name on your comments.
nice, but you should really have a cake featuring his 'fire-breathing fists'.
ReplyDeleteNever get over that quote. lol
Dear Cakewrecks team,
ReplyDeletePlease ignore all those naysayers and those annoyed with this post. I, for one, appreciate it as I haven't been following the Sheen story at all. So now I won't look like an ignoramous if it gets brought up at work. And I enjoy how cakewrecks is up to date on what's going on and often posts in relation to the happenings of the day. Some of my favorite posts are the news headlines illustrated by cake. Thank you for the daily laugh and moments of awe on Sundays. Keep up the great work!
(Aka, "Is that a space shuttle in your pants, or do you need to see a doctor?")
ReplyDeleteHave you realized that cake says
"SAMANTHA"?????
-Aislyn
Mr Sheen was already rather famous in Australia for both his need for sparkling mirrors and his fondness for saucy blondes!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elHnwjgrgS0
Keep up the good work CW!
Mr Sheen's clean mirror antics and taste in hot blondes was already well known in Australia!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elHnwjgrgS0
John,
ReplyDeleteFor being the one to say bull-poo to the antics, I adore you EVEN MORE!!!!
You, my kind sir, just might be a rock star from Mars FOR REAL!!!!!
Love,
Emily
WV: towntou
You can bank on someone whining about any post. You can take your armchair diagnosis to towntou! LOL
The "space shuttle" cake was for a girl? That's the most homoerotic cake I have ever seen that wasn't outright porno.
ReplyDeleteWV (and I am totally not kidding): brain
If Charlie Sheen still had a brain, he would keep himself out of situations that invite mockery.
Is that Asian Harry Potter?
ReplyDeleteI respectfully disagree with you (I am not the previous disagreeing poster).
ReplyDeleteThe Sheen fiasco is lose-lose. Maybe he is sick, in which case further media attention feeds his delirium - which is cruel. Otherwise, he is not sick and he is playing us with an invented story of mental illness and/or addiction. In that case, *we* are still poking fun at someone BECAUSE they are ill --- it doesn't matter that we don't know whether it is real or not. What's wrong with us?
Craig Ferguson said it best:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WigGPO6EJ20
A. A. LeBlanc,
ReplyDeleteJen and I put together a post based on particularly funny things that one individual said. That's it.
Please note that we said nothing about Mr.Sheen other than he had said these particular things. We didn't judge him. We didn't diagnose him. We didn't call him names. We didn't really even make fun of him.
We took things that he, a public figure, said, for whatever reason, and paired them with cakes. That's it.
I think this particular dead horse is thoroughly beaten.
john