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Thursday, January 20, 2011

A Day In The Life

Jen and I are often asked what it's like to be "professional" bloggers. How do we spend our days? Do we have a swimming pool filled with gold coins? Are there fantastic parties and gourmet ketchups? The answer to all these questions is yes. Jen even has a green dress. (But not a real green dress. That's cruel.)

That doesn't mean it's all fun and games, though. Sometimes we take naps.

In fact, I think I'll keep a diary for a day, just so you can see firsthand the "glorious life" of the "Professional Blogger." Enjoy!

------------------------------------------

1:00 pm - Woke up to cats hammering on door and yowling. Note to self: get thicker door. Also, new cats.

"Mrow?"


1:35 pm - Cats' yowls going super sonic. Ear plugs ineffective. Time for the Super Soaker.

"Mruh Mroh."

2:10 pm - Jen's awake. Cats are hiding. I ask in my best Kirk impression (complete with hand gestures), "JEN! Are... you... readytobe... funny? We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill!"

Jen:

Note to self: Avoid Kirk impressions before Jen's fully awake.


3:45 pm - Checked on Jen in the office. She has 27 browser tabs open and is humming "Loathing." So far, so good.


5:20 pm - Jen comes out of her office to reheat some "breakfast."

Pizza and Maalox: breakfast of champions.


7:20 pm - A yell from the office: "Oy! What're some puns for 'lactating?'"

7:32 pm - Final tally: Milking it, so cheesy, really sucks, staying abreast of the whole situation, whipped into a frenzy, creamy complexion, skim off the top, nipped a pair of area oreos


8:15 pm - Maniacal laughter coming from office.

8:21 pm - Loud sobs coming from office.

8:30 pm - Colorful swearing coming from office. Huh. Rapid mood swings may indicate low blood sugar. I bring Jen a cookie.

Effect is immediate. "Ohh, and also 'eat, drink, and be dairy!'"


10:45 pm - Heading to McDonald's for lunch.

Thank goodness we're not food bloggers. (Oh. Wait...)


12:20 am- Break time. Watching Castle with Jen.

*snorfle*


2:15 am- Jen heads back to the office. I'm off to bed.

(This was supposed to say "Just because." Seriously.)

3:35 am - Woken by a loud yell. Rushed out to find Jen staring horror-struck at a new e-mail:


"Why? WHY?!?"

4:04 am - Convinced Jen to come to bed. She lies in the dark, muttering, "Can't sleep. Lobster in blond wig will eat me."

I think it's going to be another long night.


Thanks to Lyle, James, Alistair, Carissa, Amanda M., Helen W., Elizabeth M., Kristin S., Eilen, Tyler O., Dana S., & Beatrice Y., for helping us avoid "real" jobs. Now: nap time!
at

117 comments:

  1. Jules AFJanuary 20, 2011 at 9:32 AM

    I thought the "just bed" was supposed to be "just dance," which made me happy for a moment.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fluffy CowJanuary 20, 2011 at 9:36 AM

    I was enraptured by "Just Bed"...

    till I scrolled down.
    *shudders*

    ReplyDelete
  3. BJJanuary 20, 2011 at 9:38 AM

    What no Monkey cake? Haven’t you always wanted a mon-key!?

    Thanks for all the laughs over the years.

    ReplyDelete
  4. CantStopBakingJanuary 20, 2011 at 9:38 AM

    Amazing. And I thought all you guys did all day was eat bon bons and make each other laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Meghan @ Domestic SugarJanuary 20, 2011 at 9:40 AM

    Nice to see your days are filled with sleeping sometimes! :) Love Bed!

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 9:40 AM

    I'll probably get nightmares, too. But my cat is way awesome-er than those cakes. But really. That pizza(was dat a cupcake cake!?) and burger were jacked-up bad!
    -B

    ReplyDelete
  7. BigMommaJanuary 20, 2011 at 9:41 AM

    Jen's not the only one who's going to have nightmares about lobsters in blonde wigs.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Danger BoyJanuary 20, 2011 at 9:43 AM

    ROCK LOBSTER!!! Down, down...

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 9:45 AM

    OMG! That lobster...monstrosity...is unbelievable. Those suckers are huge!

    I'm actually hoping hard they're real lobsters. Because the thought of somebody making such realistic lobsters out of cake, and then arranging them like that (complete with wig and...smoking cigar?) is too freaky. But making an arrangement like that (complete with wig and...smoke bomb?) seems completely rational (in comparison).

    Thanks for the glimpse into your...remarkable...lifestyle =).

    ReplyDelete
  10. M MJanuary 20, 2011 at 9:46 AM

    That lobster cake is nightmare fuel!

    Also, could they have shoved any more frosting on that pizza CCC? I think I'd go into sugar shock just by smelling it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Fysh Phoenix--January 20, 2011 at 9:53 AM

    BARE NAKED LADIES WIN!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Stoich91January 20, 2011 at 9:54 AM

    NOT THE INFAMOUS WIGGED LOBSTER!!!

    Yeah, no; you guys totally have the life. Sitting by the pool, long naps, gourmet food...lobster, anyone?

    Thanks for the hilarious post!

    ReplyDelete
  13. SharonJanuary 20, 2011 at 9:55 AM

    As a Canadian, I appreciate the BNL reference! :D

    The cakes lately have been SUPER creepy. Good thing I don't read your posts at night, otherwise I'd probably have nightmares!

    ReplyDelete
  14. TrevorJanuary 20, 2011 at 9:56 AM

    nice BNL reference there. Do you have a million dollars yet?

    Um, yeah, lobster in a wig? Scary!!

    And is it just me, or is that some kind of chain and NOT edible dragees on the castle cake?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Tracy AJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:01 AM

    Has anyone else noticed the Jamie Hyneman (lookalike?) in the background of the Lobster cake picture? Freaky!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Jenn T.January 20, 2011 at 10:02 AM

    I want to see a cake of John Merick's remains (all them crazy elephant bones). ;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. JennifferJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:02 AM

    Mad props for the Barenaked Ladies references, and I don't mean the lactation jokes, iyouknowwhaddimean!

    WV: brandi - a fine girl

    ReplyDelete
  18. VeggieTJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:20 AM

    That cake wasn't suppose to say "just because" obviously it was SUPPOSED to say "just epcot..." any-who awesome insight into your daily lives, thanks again

    ReplyDelete
  19. Ashley PJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:21 AM

    i just want you to know that i am sitting by myself laughing myself to tears in a coffee shop, looking like a crazy person. i hope you're happy.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Kevin PhairJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:22 AM

    Castle cake: why sugar cubes? What is on top? Why does it say "ooo Poop" on it?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Sandy C also in SoFlaJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:23 AM

    Okay, what the heck is that 3rd one supposed to be???? I looked close, at a distance, with one eye, went back for another take, and I still cannot figure it out.

    And the Blonde lobster and her/his troup of acrobat cheerleader lobsters. I will never be able to look at lobsters the same again.

    Thank you:-)

    ReplyDelete
  22. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:27 AM

    Isn't that the guy from Myth Busters in the background behind the Lobster Tower of Nightmares?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Adorably DeadJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:30 AM

    Shoot to kill! I loved this post, so funny.

    ReplyDelete
  24. SharonJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:33 AM

    I love the fact that you get to sleep until 1:00 in the afternoon.

    If that is suppose to be a cat in the first picture, WHAT are the round pink things on it's forehead? Stubs from the horns that were ripped off? I'm getting images of Hellboy here.

    Sharon's Edible Art

    ReplyDelete
  25. SuBeeJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:36 AM

    I think you should do an entire post in "Kirk Speak," just bed I'd like it.
    Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  26. Custom Cakes by PennyJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:39 AM

    Oh, I hope those are real lobsters because surely they didn't put KALE on a cake! But since this is CAKE Wrecks, I'm guessing that is actually a cake. Seriously, Kale tastes nasty on a salad, so let's put it on a cake!

    And really, sugar cubes?? Really

    ReplyDelete
  27. Jen_in_KansasJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:41 AM

    SPOT ON with the Bare Nakes Ladies reference!! You guys make my day!

    ReplyDelete
  28. AllieJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:41 AM

    Yay Barenaked Ladies reference. That made me happy.

    And that lobster pile up is scary...

    ReplyDelete
  29. Classic SteveJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:49 AM

    @Sandy: I'm guessing the third cake is supposed to be a horse.

    ReplyDelete
  30. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:51 AM

    "Theeeeeeeeeere's Klingons on the starboard bow - scrape 'em off, Jim!"

    ReplyDelete
  31. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:54 AM

    I think "Can't sleep, lobster with blonde wig will eat me" needs to be the next big internet meme. I'm just sayin'.

    Btw- BNL references FTW!

    Haven't you always wanted a mon-KEY?!?!

    WV: wheemen- never go swimmin with bowlegged wheemen...

    ReplyDelete
  32. KellyJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:56 AM

    I think that third one is Bad Horse.

    Humming "Loathing" ...funny! I can be caught humming Loathing now and then, also the Bad Horse song.

    ReplyDelete
  33. keroseneJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:56 AM

    And then there's reading all those comments!

    Thanks for the laughs!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Kristin aka Trekkie GalJanuary 20, 2011 at 11:03 AM

    Any post that starts off with a BNL reference is bound to be awesome. :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. ToriiJanuary 20, 2011 at 11:12 AM

    ROFL!!! Please find the story behind that lobster cake!!!

    Btw I like Castle too. Think Beckett and Castle will finally get together this season?

    ReplyDelete
  36. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 11:17 AM

    Is Cake #2 really a cat? I thought it was a polar bear with yellow trim. Or maybe a poodle.

    Is that lobster "cake" made with real lobsters?

    ReplyDelete
  37. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 11:17 AM

    Aw. If I had a million dollars, I'd fly to Florida and stalk y'all. (See, and now you know I'm from Texas). I'm also skipping the 99 cent pizza at work today - thanks.

    -K-dogg

    ReplyDelete
  38. UnknownJanuary 20, 2011 at 11:23 AM

    Yum!All the fanciest DIJON ketchups! And do you have a Picasso or a Garfunkle?

    ReplyDelete
  39. Sharyn in SuperiorJanuary 20, 2011 at 11:24 AM

    Soooo many thoughts. Let me essplain... no, there is too much. Let me sum up.

    Great BNL reference.

    My alarm cat, Inigo, is also in hiding until he dries off.

    Our favorite lactation joke involves calling the "La Leche League" the "La Leaky League."

    Next on Mythbusters, we tackle the myth of the chain-smoking, post-coital lobsters.

    ReplyDelete
  40. EGJanuary 20, 2011 at 11:32 AM

    The Barenaked Ladies reference made me smile this morning!

    ReplyDelete
  41. MelissaJanuary 20, 2011 at 11:35 AM

    I didn't see anywhere in your post where you were gonna eat Kraft dinner... and then eat some more with your dijon ketchups.... :)

    The lobsters. I was laughing till I was horrified by the lobsters.

    ReplyDelete
  42. JiniZJanuary 20, 2011 at 11:41 AM

    Dr. Demento WIN!

    Lobster cake...fai...wi..fwin? Being from a beach resort town, I kind of like it.

    ReplyDelete
  43. ElizabethJanuary 20, 2011 at 11:42 AM

    I think cake 3 is an angry bull.

    Can't work out *what* is going on with that castle cake, though. Sugar cubes? Well at least they're edible, unlike the wrapping of - is that the bobbly chain stuff you get on bathplugs? Surely not. And is that jam on top of the turrets?

    And what on earth is up with the figures on the top? What is the front one in the fright mask doing ? Whatever it is, the one behind really wishes he wasn't there to see it.

    ReplyDelete
  44. ChristyJanuary 20, 2011 at 11:43 AM

    Great, now I'M going to have nightmares. *shudder*

    ReplyDelete
  45. StephanieJanuary 20, 2011 at 11:44 AM

    This was highly entertaining. My reaction to the lobster cake was the same as Jen's (though if those lobsters actually are made of cake I would actually eat them, as opposed to real lobsters).

    Oh, and extra cool points for being Castle fans. :D

    ReplyDelete
  46. RuthieJanuary 20, 2011 at 11:50 AM

    I thought the burger was supposed to be a planet?!? :)

    ReplyDelete
  47. Nerwen AldarionJanuary 20, 2011 at 11:55 AM

    Castle!!! Yay you watch Castle...and that lobster cake is going to give me nightmares!

    ReplyDelete
  48. LynalysaJanuary 20, 2011 at 11:58 AM

    Whoa!You guys are total night owls!I totally missed that you guys woke up at 1 PM until Sharon pointed it out. Thanks for making me feel better about my own sleeping habits. :)

    ReplyDelete
  49. DanielJanuary 20, 2011 at 12:06 PM

    Is the lobster thing really a cake?

    I'm pretty sure that those are real. I've worked with lobsters before and those just look too perfect to be fake. (The rubber band marks on their claws are a detail I wouldn't have expected if they weren't real.)

    ReplyDelete
  50. HelenaJanuary 20, 2011 at 12:13 PM

    *Wiping yogurt off the screen*
    Seriously.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Elizabeth C.January 20, 2011 at 12:14 PM

    Bj, Not really - Just a Llama and an Emu are fine with me...

    My reaction to the lobster thing "Whoa... wow... whoa... Is that lobster in a wig...smoking?... with a matching boa on the Topiary...AND OH MY GAWD THAT'S HINEY-MAN! someone is even pointing at him!!!"

    ReplyDelete
  52. Amanda MacJanuary 20, 2011 at 12:15 PM

    What? No llama or emu cakes?

    ReplyDelete
  53. AlizaJanuary 20, 2011 at 12:39 PM

    As a night owl, I'm jealous that you can shift your "day" like that (sigh)

    Your cats flip out after 9 hours of sleep? Yup, you need new cats. Preferably of the stuffed toy variety ;)

    #1 could have been cute if the wreckerator had just a little more skill. #2 and #3 are -- are you *sure* that's meant to be a cat?! They're scarily bad even for a monster

    #4 this CCC pizza cake is better than most CCCs (patooie)

    #5 Why is there a strangely shiny half-naked woman on a cake? Is this a picture of Amber?

    #6 Why is there more icing than cookie? Why are there pink, red and green splotches? Sprinkles? Brown icing? None of it makes any sense!

    #7 Is sad, but at least recognizable.

    #8 a 'castle' without buying a proper bundt pan. But sugar cubes? how disgusting. And I think @Trevor's right-- those aren't dragees.

    #9 Maybe that was for Lindsay, who's on a "Bed or" roll? The wreckerator was tired and/or sick and wanted to go home to bed? The person who ordered it was very, very attractive?

    #10 That looks like REAL lobsters?! With kale! Are you sure there's cake in there? Or is just meant to horrify us? (It worked).

    PS I, too, chuckled over the Barenaked Ladies lyric! Although... I guess we're bringing that old CD into the Epcot bunker?

    ReplyDelete
  54. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    humming "Loathing"...ahahah! now its in MY head :(

    -Moochmom

    ReplyDelete
  55. ChrissJanuary 20, 2011 at 1:17 PM

    Thaaannkks. Now my waking days are haunted by super-transformer lobster gestalt in a blond wig. And, apparently, smoking.

    O-O

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go traumatize my Facebook friends with this.

    ReplyDelete
  56. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 1:28 PM

    The guy in the background of the lobster tower picture is NOT Jamie Hyneman.

    First of all, the beard appears to be the wrong color and too long. The guy in the picture looks like his beard is black/gray and looks like it is covering his neck (albeit that it is hard to tell in the picture). Jamie's beard is reddish and does not go past his chin.

    Second, look closely at the hat. The *only hat* Jamie wears is a black *beret*. And the guy in the picture looks like he's wearing some kind of caption's hat.

    So, sorry everyone but the guy is NOT Jamie Hyneman.

    ReplyDelete
  57. TisforTonyaJanuary 20, 2011 at 1:31 PM

    I think the lobster is actually Lady Gaga...

    (and I laughed OUT LOUD at the "green dress" - love it!)

    ReplyDelete
  58. J.January 20, 2011 at 1:34 PM

    What are you and that lobster smoking, John? ;-)

    Also, cats HATE closed doors. Just open it a crack. They'll come in, take a sniff, then leave you alone. Or not.

    ReplyDelete
  59. No Cake Fo' YOU!!!January 20, 2011 at 1:36 PM

    OMG that was a burger??? *scratching and shaking my head*

    ReplyDelete
  60. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 2:48 PM

    Oh god. That lobster is something out of MY nightmares. Seriously. When I was about 5 I had a nightmare involving a giant lobster erupting through the floor on my house and sucking people's insides out with its giant claws. (My mother later woke up and found me on the couch, muttering about a lobster in my bed trying to eat my toes).

    ReplyDelete
  61. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 2:53 PM

    I agree - that looks like the guy from MythBusters in the background of the last picture. That would explain A LOT.

    ReplyDelete
  62. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 2:55 PM

    Darn you guys and the tricky timing of drinking while reading your blog, just cleaned coffee off the computer monitor...anywhoodle...after nursing 5 children (at different times and different years) I have yet to make whipped cream come from my tata's...someone envisioned talent!!!

    PS...my laughter is only further induced by my word verification word for commenting today repasty...ie when you reattach your pasty..hehehehe

    ReplyDelete
  63. DemeterJanuary 20, 2011 at 3:03 PM

    I'm scrolling through these with my husband and we get to "Just Bed" I ask what does that mean?? and he immediately says, "no sex, just bed." LOL

    ReplyDelete
  64. AdrienneJanuary 20, 2011 at 3:04 PM

    definitely enjoyed the bnl reference :)

    ReplyDelete
  65. StephanieC @ Seriously?? Really? Seriously?January 20, 2011 at 3:09 PM

    Ahhh John, you had me at the Barenaked Ladies song and then had me seal away my soul to the cat's "mrow".

    You, my friend, are the cat's "mrow".

    Pizza and burger CCW's are just so very wrong. Yuck.

    Also?

    Mrow.

    ReplyDelete
  66. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 3:10 PM

    I bet you have pre-wrapped sausages, but you don't have pre-wrapped bacon.

    (Sorry is someone else wrote this since I didn't read all the comments)

    ReplyDelete
  67. MargaretJanuary 20, 2011 at 3:12 PM

    bWhat interesting works of art!!! (And I'm sure I don't mean Picasso OR Garfunkle...)

    ReplyDelete
  68. Lady BrightJanuary 20, 2011 at 3:16 PM

    I cannot believe how in tune I am with this site. Or maybe I can, but I'm trying not to accept it.

    Lunch at 10:45 pm -- sounds good.

    Castle -- drool.

    Does that cake have to say 'oro poop'? In defense, it does look like gold poop from some angles.

    Giggle - just bed. Lovely.

    I knew there was something wrong about whole lobsters. Lobster mobster's molls in Dolly Parton wigs are just just as bad.

    I'm glad to be back home and in connection to a computer, just to come back to CW!!

    ~~Di

    WV - vialaten -- I do believe some of these cakes be vialaten a body.

    ReplyDelete
  69. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 3:25 PM

    The intro made my day. Not often you get to use a BNL reference. You guys are so awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  70. DLouJanuary 20, 2011 at 3:46 PM

    Re: the man behind the lobster cake--It's like he's some sea-faring ghost done in by the wigged lobster. Sort of like the ghost that appears in the window during a scene in "Three Men and a Baby."

    It also looks like there is another person pointing at the man from behind the wall. This is creepy.

    ReplyDelete
  71. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 3:48 PM

    Is number 1 a cross between a cat and HellBoy? Would that be a hellcat?

    ReplyDelete
  72. michelejJanuary 20, 2011 at 4:35 PM

    Oh, my crackers! You had me at "gourmet crackers"! (love the BNLs)

    The lobster thing was horrifying... I can't unsee that, you know...

    ReplyDelete
  73. CutelilsnotJanuary 20, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    But not a REAL blond wig,
    That's cruel!!
    (The technicolor poo on the cookies was pretty cruel, too).

    ReplyDelete
  74. CatstinaJanuary 20, 2011 at 4:46 PM

    Pizza breakfast and burger lunch. Now that's a good day!

    WV: Redairyo - When one runs out of dairy and must run to the store and purchase more... re-dairy yo!

    ReplyDelete
  75. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 4:53 PM

    "Theeeeere's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow, there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim!"

    When I was growing up, my dad had some tapes of songs played on Dr. Demento. Thanks for the flashback. :^)

    BOOT TO THE HEAD

    ReplyDelete
  76. Lauren TowersJanuary 20, 2011 at 5:39 PM

    OK LOLZ to end a really crappy day, but now lobster...and I live alone *wibble*

    WV: ledewearat a rat in lederhosen

    ReplyDelete
  77. AngieJanuary 20, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    Great....now I am craving Kraft dinner. Thanks a heap!

    ReplyDelete
  78. KarlaJanuary 20, 2011 at 6:42 PM

    My 5 year old son was looking at these after I laughed at the lactating jokes (he didn't see the visual). He then asks what the next ones were (heart shaped?). I said "I have no idea" and he said, "Maybe girl chests?".

    ReplyDelete
  79. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 7:06 PM

    Thanks for the mammaries!

    WV: unced

    My comment should have been left unced.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Doctor TarrJanuary 20, 2011 at 7:07 PM

    It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it.

    ReplyDelete
  81. LydiaJanuary 20, 2011 at 7:36 PM

    Lol, That was a pizza cake! Get it? Pieze o' cake? Haha!

    ReplyDelete
  82. CakebuilderJanuary 20, 2011 at 7:54 PM

    Quoting BNL - as if I needed another reason to love you guys!

    ReplyDelete
  83. katiemJanuary 20, 2011 at 9:12 PM

    Thanks for the barenaked ladies reference!

    ReplyDelete
  84. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 9:21 PM

    You guys are even cooler because you watch Castle.

    Rock on.

    :) Sara

    ReplyDelete
  85. EmiJanuary 20, 2011 at 9:40 PM

    Do you also have pre-wrapped bacon?I love the blog, the Barenaked Ladies reference just made me love your blog all the more.

    ReplyDelete
  86. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:18 PM

    O_o to the boob cake. To the rest of them... WTF

    ReplyDelete
  87. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2011 at 10:26 PM

    I have Star Trekkin' as a favorite on Youtube (shoot to kill, shoot to kill)!!

    -Barbara Anne

    P.S. feed the cats, silly! no need for new ones

    ReplyDelete
  88. AmaurielJanuary 20, 2011 at 11:02 PM

    Please, Please, Please make more Barenaked Ladies references. As many as you can. Although you are at least one up of most sites, and rose quite a bit in my personal standings today.

    Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  89. UnknownJanuary 20, 2011 at 11:08 PM

    What's the lobster in the wig holding in its right claw? o_O

    ReplyDelete
  90. AnonymousJanuary 21, 2011 at 12:14 AM

    Ahaha! I'll have that song stuck in my head through the weekend, craving "Kraft Dinner" all the while.

    P.S. Isn't that what Kraft Mac and Cheese boxes actually say on the front in Canada? "Kraft Dinner"? What's that all about?

    ReplyDelete
  91. MissNayJanuary 21, 2011 at 1:09 AM

    What boob made the lactation cake? Maybe someone trying to pay their way through nursing school. That cake could be used as a weapon of mast destruction. Bra-vo, wreckerator. Well, anyway, regardless of appearance I would totally engorge myself on that cake. Especially if it was pinipple upside down cake.

    ReplyDelete
  92. ArleneJanuary 21, 2011 at 1:42 AM

    Oh great now I too fear that lobster in a blond wig. If it comes to eat me in my dreams I am bringing you all with me lmao. Seriously just throw water on it and maybe the thing will melt into oblivion where it belongs!

    ReplyDelete
  93. CraigJanuary 21, 2011 at 2:27 AM

    #1 What on earth is that? To what are the arrows pointing?

    #2 A dog wearing a disguise, perhaps? Just looking at all that frosting makes my teeth hurt.

    #3 A sloth with a major attitude problem -- almost an oxymoron.

    #4 There are no words.

    #5 There are no safe words. Except perhaps 'dairy queen'. I don't mean the brand.

    #6 This could have been so nice, until it was sucked into the Sandra Lee zone. I have no quarrel with buttercreme, but parts of this look like actual butter -- strike 1. Real bead chains? Yeah, that's safe -- strike 2. The topper looks like two pieces from a Samurai chess set. Why? What does 'seafoop' mean? How did they manage to get artificial flowers to wilt? Strikes 3 through 5.

    #7 [The Barry Manilow marathon on the p.a. is interrupted by:] "Dr. Freud to the bakery, Dr. Freud to the bakery, STAT."

    #8 I need to know where this occurred so I can be sure never to go there. A lobster with a blond wig & smoking? Really?

    I can see college students pulling something like this during a break in an all-night cram session. But to think that actual grown-ups were paid to make a tower of lobsters...

    I'm 90% sure that's Jamie Hyneman from 'Mythbusters' in the background -- that might explain this. (You can't go by the color of beard, etc. because like most indoor digital pictures, this photo has color correction issues.) I think this was the episode where they set out to disprove that one must be a rational adult in order to be a caterer. Busted!

    ReplyDelete
  94. Jennifer LJanuary 21, 2011 at 4:12 AM

    ZOMG. I am just a Barenaked Ladies dork. Thanks for that commentary, as if I didn't love you guys enough already!!!

    Jen

    ReplyDelete
  95. Krista F.January 21, 2011 at 7:35 AM

    Love the BNL reference :)

    ReplyDelete
  96. JulieJanuary 21, 2011 at 8:31 AM

    if i had a million dollars
    i'd buy you a monkey
    haven't you always wanted a mon-key!

    ReplyDelete
  97. Loo-E Loo-IJanuary 21, 2011 at 9:25 AM

    Love that Beatles song!

    I read a blog today, oh boy
    About a man who gets to grade
    A bunch of cakes that are rather sad
    Well, I just had to laugh
    I saw the photograph
    I spewed my coffee out on my screen
    I noticed that the spelling had changed
    A crowd of people sat and commented
    They'd seen this before
    Nobody was really sure if it was Spaceship Earth

    I saw a video today, oh boy
    Someone was trying to return a misspelled cake
    The manager turned them away
    Falker Satherhood
    Doesn't sound too good
    I'd love to 'tern u won'

    A cake that says "Just Bed"
    And another cat with a mis-shaped head
    A wreckerator had used a styrofoam cup
    I looked up and noticed that pizza cake (eww eww)
    John woke up to yowling cats
    Jen looked at cakes of phallic bats
    I found my way to the end of your day
    I will have nightmares of that lobster cake
    AHH! AHHHH! AHHHHH! AHHH-AHHHHH!

    I read a blog today, oh boy
    Four thousand sprinkles on so many cakes this year
    And though the sprinkles were rather small
    Jen had to comment on them all
    Even though "I want sprinkles" there were none at all
    I love Cake Wreck blog!

    ReplyDelete
  98. TexasBlueEyesJanuary 21, 2011 at 11:00 AM

    I think that second one is a polar bear. Am I seeing things?

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  99. MelJanuary 21, 2011 at 12:17 PM

    Now I can't stop singing "Loathing." Thanks.

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  100. BADKarma!January 21, 2011 at 12:55 PM

    Lobsters in blond wigs; singing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President", ala Marilyn Monroe; will now haunt my dreams forevermore. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  101. AnonymousJanuary 21, 2011 at 1:43 PM

    LOVE the Bare-naked Ladies reference. The lobster cake was just... just... O.o

    ReplyDelete
  102. tangeriaJanuary 21, 2011 at 3:29 PM

    mmm, dijon ketchup....all the finest gourmet ketchups money can buy. =)

    ReplyDelete
  103. BeckyJanuary 21, 2011 at 5:02 PM

    Love the BNL reference!

    ReplyDelete
  104. KatieJanuary 22, 2011 at 11:12 AM

    The pizza one is too hilarious!

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  105. GooseberryfoolJanuary 22, 2011 at 2:17 PM

    The pink garland thing wrapped around the little tree in the background of that frightening lobster cake kind of cracked me up, plus the guy with the walrus mustache looking ocnfusedly at that lovely cake and decor.

    ReplyDelete
  106. hyphen8January 22, 2011 at 5:05 PM

    Oh great, now I'm going to have "Loathing" stuck in my head. (Alternate earworm for this post: Rock Lobster)

    Just Bed is maybe a shirt candidate? ;)

    Off to find my Wicked soundtrack...

    ReplyDelete
  107. tiny purple elephantJanuary 22, 2011 at 6:46 PM

    the lobster in a blond wig in all her glory holding i duuno what in her claw !!! would love to know the story behind that. speaking of behind, there are some yummy looking puff pastries behind the lobster...

    ReplyDelete
  108. AnonymousJanuary 22, 2011 at 11:27 PM

    You keep the same hours I do. Nice to know I'm not the only one. My relatives and friends keep trying to change me. Heck, I'm retired, no reason not to stay up all night and sleep during the day, right? right? Oh, hell.
    ~physicsmom

    Edit: WV = forist; those lobsters were frolicking in the forist!

    ReplyDelete
  109. Heather D.January 23, 2011 at 1:19 AM

    Can you do a day in the life of me next? Will involve lots of baby crying and cooking and stepping on toys that hurt like hell and occasional short stents of sleep. Just an idea! :-D

    ReplyDelete
  110. @miniMumJanuary 23, 2011 at 1:34 AM

    Well, duh! You've heard of wedding cakes, and groom's cakes - the lobster cake is obviously the mother-in-law cake!

    ReplyDelete
  111. SelkyJanuary 23, 2011 at 3:12 PM

    As someone with a lobster, and fish, phobia ( Fun vocab words! Ostraconophobia and Ichthyophobia.) that Lobster cake was unbelievably frightening!

    ReplyDelete
  112. AnonymousJanuary 23, 2011 at 9:17 PM

    Laughter and swearing followed by...loud cussing, I'm sure there's a medical condition with those symptoms...

    ReplyDelete
  113. Lyle, James & AlistairJanuary 25, 2011 at 4:23 PM

    As the submitter of the "cat" in #1, that was SUPPOSED to be an easter bunny, according to the baker. To us, it looked like a beheaded goat with bloody horn stumps...my 1-year-old couldn't figure out why mommy was cackling like a loon while standing in the bakery

    ReplyDelete
  114. DavidJanuary 28, 2011 at 2:35 PM

    Great Scott! That last lobster cake made me reminisce about "Teenagers from Outer Space", a B-movie if ever there was one!

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  115. Karen LuckieJanuary 29, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    I love the show Castle! And I love real castles too! But I do not love this cake. Not at all. haha, great job guys!

    ReplyDelete
  116. kevin blumerJanuary 30, 2011 at 3:43 PM

    really realy impresive cakes a bit like that contest a while ago its amazing what you can do with a bit flower and iceing sugger they must take ages to make

    ReplyDelete
  117. AnonymousMarch 13, 2011 at 12:18 PM

    Reminds me of some twisted opera....

    I thought the cake perhaps said "Guest Bed" maybe its like the mint on the pillow, except way messier.

    ReplyDelete

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