Friday, June 4, 2010

Here, There, and Everywhere

Friday, June 4, 2010

All together, now!

Hip, hip, it's hip to not care!



It's not too hard to figure out; I see it every day.

And those who are the laziest have gone the Wrecky way.



You see them in the bakery,


It don't look like a lot of fun.

But don't you try to right it,

'Cuz Cake Wrecks' time has come!



Don't tell me that they're crazy,

Don't tell me they're aware,

Cuz I can see what's going on:


It's hip to not care!


(Here, there, and "'cross entire front."

Hip, hip, so hip to not care!)


Kerensa, Doug B., Bree A., & Duana S., you might think I'm crazy, but I don't even care. I still like Huey Lewis and the News.


From john: Hey guys! We think that probably everything is fixed with the formatting on the page. If it's still wonky for you, however, would you e-mail me and tell me about it at comments(at)cakewrecks.com? Thanks! -j
joyce said...

I want to celebrate in the middle!

Taylor said...

"Happy Birthday Down There"
Possible Explanations:

-Anniversary of a gender-change operation
-Family member moved to Australia and then had a birthday and you don't understand the term "Down Under"
-Cake for a Roloff family birthday
-Send it to the neighbor that you're stalking who lives directly below you in your apartment complex

Hansueter said...

At least they didn't say "Underneat that" on the second to last one!

Alison said...

*sigh*

These types of wrecks do not do much for my faith in humanity. Or "intelligent design". Or just general intelligence. . . .

Jamie said...

Oh, Literal LOLs, I never tire of you.

Happy Birthday Down There just sounds dirty. Naughty, naughty snowman!

That last one is a cautionary tale for what happens when you try to make a CCC (ptooie!) into a regular ole sheet cake. And if you're really, really lucky, you'll get a literal writing mishap in *addition* to your nonsensical pink amoeba with two wobbly hearts for eyeballs. It's two wrecks for the price of one!

Mike said...

Those never get old. It never ceases to amaze me that people can make that mistake, and then actually sell the cake. Truely talented individuals must work at these bakeries, or should it be wreckeries?

diddleymaz said...

So,... the snow persons "lady parts" are having a birthday what about the rest?

Christine said...

I shall now be singing Huey Lewis songbook all day. My husband thanks you.

Anonymous said...

Have bakeries learned nothing from the "Underneat that" cake?
These should be part of the cake decorator hiring process: What do you see wrong with this? Nothing? OK, thanks for coming in. No, don't call us, we'll call you ... if we need you.

By the way, I posted yesterday about the overlapping showing up in Firefox, but today everything looks fine and normal.

Miranda said...

Happy birthday down there??? Uh, my junk doesn't have a separate birthday....

Kashmir said...

* blink * * blink * * blink *

Idiocracy is now....

Anonymous said...

*Snort* LOVE, Love, love the combination of Huey and Suess.

I cannot even imagine what idiots continue to insist on putting the 'directions' on the cake along with the 'names'.

Are they now hoping to join the infamous on this marvelous Wrecky site?

Many, many thanks to you for all the laughter I receive when I come in daily.

As to the snowman -- I guess boobs would be blue if made of snow? Nasty snowman down there.

~~Di

Tricia L said...

Why,
why,
WHY?

They are all such pretty cakes -- even the CCC is well done. Perhaps the best CCC you've shown.

Why can't they just leave well-enough alone?

wv: realit
what a wreckerator writes on a cake for a real estate agent

Anonymous said...

Ha!!!! happy Birthday "Down there."

Half Assed Kitchen said...

So sad, yet so LOLZ.

Anonymous said...

Colder than a snowperson's boobs!

Anonymous said...

I'm about to go pick up a cake for a work luncheon. Maybe I'll have a new wreck to share!

Amy Raz

jo said...

How DO you celebrate in the middle? The poor wallflowers get left out....

Does a snowman HAVE a down there to celebrate? (snowball fight, anyone?)

The maker of Ellen's cake OBVIOUSLY has never heard of Cake Wrecks. They just repeated the Original Sin.

Ah, a freeform CCC! possibly the only "acceptable" kind since there's no real shape to be judged by. pretty little flowers, too. Shame they botched the directions. It may have looked nice with a lovely scrolling "Averie" across the front, rather than "across entire Front (squished)"


wv: predwin. the early morning hours that bakers get to work. which could explain a lot of these mistakes from sleepy hungover staffers.

Anonymous said...

@Taylor. I like your theories. Especially for wishing a birthday to someone somewhere "down there." Could even be someone who moved south. And the celebrants are having a cake up north in their honor. Virtual birthday!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday down there--is someone wishing a friend "gets lucky" on their birthday?

Leserlee said...

What is the last one supposed to be, besides a dreaded CCC?

Tiffany said...

Awesome post once again! I don't know how you do it.... You never seem to run out of material. :)

PS - no problems here John. I'm using Firefox though. :)

sendingtheclowns said...

No, no, no...it is very simply a conspiracy.
Don't you see? These clowns want to be in your next BOOK!!! If the next one is already full, then they want to be in the NEXT next book. Or the one underneat that.
Don't fall for it.
Some people just have no skroopuls, y'know?
=^u.u^=

QGBFH said...

I'm assuming that these cake writers don't speak English and they are just copying directly from the work order...

But, it's still ridiculous! lol!

Anonymous said...

Is that a hermaphrodite snowperson? not very anatomically correct...Oh, silly me. That's a scarf and those are mittens. Silly me! you just never know these days!

Anonymous said...

Taylor: "Cake for a Roloff family birthday"

Oh no, you di-n't! That's a low one (but it's nice to know I'm not the only TLC junkie out there!).

Great post as always, Jen.

Tracy said...

Ok...I will admit I had to look at the snowman a second time. I thought it was here because of blue boobs. However after re examining the wording it does say down here. I thought it said Doctor There...figured it to be for a plastic surgeon with the blue body parts...lol

Trevor said...

Yep, that snowman is having a party down there! Oh yeah.... C'mon baby, don't you want to melt with me?

deckardcanine said...

Oh, I read it as "Happy birthday, Doron Thero." Strange name.

They've combined Three Dog Night's "Celebrate" with Stealers Wheel's "Stuck in the Middle."

Anonymous said...

These cakes make me want to slap myself...since I can't slap the person who made them!!!

-Kathy

thesacredandtheprofane said...

Nothing short of sheer awesomeness! These always make me glad I don't drink while reading Cake Wrecks.

\m/ *.* \m/

LaurenH said...

Happy Birthday Down There?? You know, when my crotch has a birthday, actually ALLLL the rest of me will have a birthday! You don't need to single it out like that :P

W.Peabody said...

Wondering if the ancient Egyptians ran into this sort of trouble when they were getting their graves decorated... then again, likely not, since there was probably a penalty of 40 lashes for typos. :0

Jen said...

Seriously. Are these people doing this on purpose?

Mary Connealy said...

Oops, my comment didn't load.

Which is just as well. I got to reading other comments and you've all pretty much summed up my confusion.

Mama Martinez said...

If you ever get in a pinch and need someone to write the blog for you, I think my 3-year old daughter might be the one. About the last cake, she says, "Whoa, is that red boat a cake? It has a butterfly on it. Is that a butterfly? Is that a cake?" :)

Anonymous said...

Maybe the recipient of the snow-blob cake had an, um, "reshaping" of parts "down there", and thus they have a seperate "birth" date? And that's why the scarf, with it's two red tips, points to the nether-regions? The hole in the white icing at that location and the tacked-on blue circles on the chest imply what was once a snow man is now a snow-woman!

Anonymous said...

Seriously, how can people who do these cakes still have jobs? My sister and I have been trying to become cake decorators for the last couple of years but they wont hire us because we dont have any college training since we learned ours from other cake decorators, but our portfolio show great cakes. and here we have people who have the job and cant even understand what they are suppose to put on the cake! Oh geez!

Larisa said...

@Taylor... ROFL at ROLOFF!

other than that... oh. my. gravy!

Anonymous said...

These are my favorite kinds of wrecks because you can totally hear the conversation that took place!

Susan said...

Ahh the classics. I think these are my favorite kind of wrecks. I mean, nobody could intentionally make mistakes like these, it's just pure wreck.

(under that)

Have a great weekend!

Anonymous said...

Maybe it is time for some good old fashioned shame - you know that stuff of Victorian times. If you posted the source of these cakes you might be doing the English majors and hapless customers a service; but then I wouldn't be rushing to my computer each morning for yet another edition of idiocy. Keep up the good work Jen and John. Keep up the good comments everyone else. You are part of the fun. I live in a community that insists that accommodate has one M. You don't want to waste any Ms in Modesto after all.

Roland said...

After the suggestive scrawlings of the first two, I was expecting the rest of the post to continue in that vein.

Didn't happen, though, did it?

Anonymous said...

Let's celebrate that the "let's celebrate" cake is correctly apostrophized!

Literal LOLs are my faves.

WATERBABY CHRISTINE said...

What amazes me are how clueless the customers are who insist on writing instructions for decorating in the message section of the order form. Maybe the wreckerators are just fed up with having to second guess the "always right" customer!

Gary said...

Happy Birthday Down There sounds like more fun than my last birthday!

Pai said...

I have to think that these kinds of mistakes are made by people who can't read English and are just copying the letters on the form down without comprehending them at all.

Because I can't imagine how this kind of thing can happen otherwise...

Foxrn211 said...

OMG awesome! now I'll be singing that the rest of the day! ...."so hip to not care"...bwaahahaaha!

Siouxzr said...

I'm thinking the average supermarket wreckarator must maintain a pretty good buzz in order to think these inscriptions make sense.
wreckarator 1 -- Let's celebrate in the middle. That's deep. Don't wait until it's all over to celebrate. Do it know while you're in the middle of things.
Wreckerator 2 -- Oh, I thought the cake was like directions to the party you know, the middle of the road or the middle of the park. Wow. Cake can be really thought provoking.

Anonymous said...

All this here and there, sorta makes me want to do the hokey pokey!!

~Nikki~ said...

SOOOO funny! I didn't get it at first until I got to Averie and then it hit me! LOL Going back and reading them all was a real treat... I mean are these bakers/decorators really that slow?!


check out my blog: nikkiscakery.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Love Literal LOLs!

Blackberry looks great now. Fonts show. Titles - check. Comments - check.
:)
Alex

WV: ulampod - a modular structure for housing female and young sheep.

Molly said...

Now now Jen, it's obvious that the "down there" one is celebrating the anniversary of a va-jayjay reconstruction surgery...

Tiffany said...

What does comedian Bill Enval say to stupid people? 'Here's your sign?' We would end up going broke trying to get one to all these people!

Tiffany

lisadh said...

Love the post, love the comments! This is a great community, isn't it?

blueiguana42 said...

Bwahaha...these are my favorites. Are you testing your fans for the cover of the next book?

Suzanne said...

As I passed the mall this morning, with the electronic sign that read "Congratulation Class of 2010" - I thought of CakeWrecks.

Scarlett Robyn said...

Hi-
I thought that last one said 'ovary' but spelt wrong......

Tricia L said...

I really appreciate that you are no longer blurring the labels on the cake boxes so we can pretty much read where these ... uh ... artists work.

Maybe a tiny line below each photo to identify the country/state of origin and a code for the store. Like "California W*****t" or "Tennessee Kr*g*r".

It would be a public service to potential cake buyers. Yeah, that would be a good defense strategy.


wv: ressesup
"I'd like you to write "recess" up at the top of the cake."

Let Them Eat Cake said...

I got song whiplash! (Unless Jen is intentionally writing on 2 levels at once?) The title and the first line "All together, now" had me singing Beatles songs in my head. And the "lyrics" fit to the tune of "Here, There, and Everywhere" by the Beatles...until suddenly Huey Lewis jumped in! Whiplash!

So, Jen, may we have a Beatles day? Pleeease? (Bambi eyes, eyelash flutter)

vw: unstoraw - It's impossible to unstoraw these Beatles songs in my head, so we might as well use them for something.

dina said...

we shall all celebrate in the Middle!

caferacers66 said...

*snort* lol down there

Margaret said...

LOVE the Huey Lewis...couldn't help but hear it as I scrolled..squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
thanks...nice early b-day present to me!
Ok now I'm going back to look at the wrecks 'stead of the commentary.

The Dream Police Person said...

I love it! The first one reminded me of the actual "No Fun Zone" square spray painted by local teenagers in the middle of the basketball court outside my school.

Fluffy Cow said...

@ Taylor- Thank you for the snort inducing comments.

Donna M. said...

Love the Snowman "down there"

The first one reminded me of the naked mohawk baby carrot jockey cake LOL

I can just hear the conversation at the bakery between wreckorators:

Dude, what are you doing to that cake?
Decorating it. Why?
Dude, you weren't supposed to write the instructions on the cake!
Oh snap! I'll just wrap it up and pretend not to notice.
Dude, you're cruising to show up on Cake Wrecks.
Dude! That would be so totally awesome!

L.B. said...

I want a new cake!
One that won't be a wreck.
One that won't be a CCC or shaped like 'blech'.
One that will look appealing,
Quality through and through,
Until that time I'll visit Cake Wrecks for cakes covered in 'poo'!
Cakes covered in 'poo'!

Michelle in Orygun said...

I need to order a graduation cake for my daughter, and I am SO tempted to have the cake say "Congradulations and under that Beth in red". If somebody dared me, I think I might. If my daughter was okay with it. And she's got a pretty good sense of humor. But my mom might not get it.

Anonymous said...

OH...MY...LANTA... I think that I may have sprained something laughing. The snow "person" cracked me up---I guess if your boobs are frosty and blue, you can't have too happy of a birthday UP THERE. So your only choice is to salvage the day with a happy one DOWN THERE!!!!

Anonymous said...

Think of them as overachievers w/ icing rather than underachievers w/ common sense-- Why ask questions when you can just follow the order to the letter like a good little baker?

Bree said...

The first two could be combined into one big wreck:

Let's Celebrate Happy Birthday Down There In the Middle.

Arlene said...

Oh how sorry I feel for the person that got that adorable snowman cake only for it to say happy birthday down there.. why not just happy birthday everywhere? Lol. Tragic that such a cute cake had to be ruined.

Goueznou said...

I kind of feel like I should leave a comment just because my WV is "aintabbl," as in "The wreckerator aintabbl to read the order form properly." But I don't really have a lot to add to what's been said already.

I did want to note that the site is definitely loading faster for me now (using Camino on an old Mac Powerbook), plus I like the new fonts.

StefRobrts said...

Oh, I think "Happy Birthday Down There" is my new favoritest wreck :)

Aliza said...

I think I met a future wreckerator today!!! OK, he was the cashier at the local grocery store (which has disappointingly lovely cakes in the cases), but we were chatting, and I mentioned Canada Day. His comment? He asked me when it was, because he "can never remember". I should note, at this point, that he had a very local accent. And was late teens/early twenties. So should know by now that (a) it's the same day every year (sorta like Christmas or Hallowe'en), and (b) It's July 1 (sorta like Independence Day or Anzac Day for the U.S. or Australia). I politely managed to keep my eyes from bugging out of my head... but sent up a silent prayer that he becomes a cake decorator next since he clearly has an excellent future for being mocked at here on the grounds of sheer stupidity. Unlike most cases, which I suspect are simply language/cultural differences ;)

Anonymous said...

Aren't the "snow boobs" really supposed to be her ARMS?

Autumn said...

I seriously cannot believe how many idiots write the directions on the cakes...WTH?!?!??

Autumn
-Cakes A Bake