Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Have a Ball!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

It's your birthday! Have a ball!




No, seriously. Have a ball:


"Look at all the extra care the baker took in crafting this lovely...round...spherical...ball-like thing for your birthday! That random capitalization and uncrossed 't' really add to the post-modernistic feel, too, don't you think?

"Plus, the pink dots add [jazz hands] pizazz!"


Angie C, you spin me right 'round.
kara said...

How do you cut it? Hmmmm...

Amanda said...

What is that? What is it sitting in inside the box? Could there be any more ashtrays on that table?

Yikes.

Jenn said...

Not to mention the full ashtray and pack of smokes really class it up.

Mallory said...

What was this supposed to be?

Doublebanker said...

I want the "center of the earth" slice!!!

Daily Gif Blog

DB

Judy said...

What is is sitting on??? Is it a white towel????

Tracy O said...

Oh, Lordy, I am picturing the jazz hands coming out of the sides of this cake (with really long skinny fingers)!!!

Tracy O

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Your birlhday is not usually celebrated with cake... at least where I come from.

Becky said...

What's up with the tissue paper or stuff in the box with the cake? And is that really a professional cake?!?

Tig said...

Did they get their money back? I can't imagine getting something that looked like that, and actually agreeing to pay for it. Catastrophe!!

Anonymous said...

I see plenty of ashtrays and some cigarettes....but perhaps the person who ordered the cake smoked too much of something else and specifically told them "Don't capitalize the B on birthday and don't cross the t".

Okay...probably not, but I tried.

Kate said...

i don't think they're pink dots. I think they're pink mentos. Which makes my stomach turn considering that taste combo. Buttercream icing + strawberry mentos...yuck.

Anonymous said...

I think the cigarettes and ashtrays laying around speak volumes....nuff said.

anawinston said...

why did they have to rip the box top off I wonder??? I guess maybe they were REALLY excited...

Feisty Irish Wench said...

It looks a bit like a cake that started out as a single breast, but last minute the customer called frantically screeching "stop the breasts!" at the very last second before anatomical details were added. Someone clearly missed the class on cake basics. Trim the peaks, flip over the top layer cake for a lovely, even finish and level writing surface. But boob shaped cakes are just so much more entertaining right?

Anonymous said...

I was thinking that all the ashtrays and the cigarettes added a nice backdrop for the cake. AND...it's a good thing it's in a box...the frosting would have slid into those ashes. EWWW!

Audrey said...

I especially love how the lid of the cake box is torn off, like they couldn't get to that cake soon enough!!!

psychobabble said...

Oh Magic,inexplicable ball 'o cake from the land of Walmartamier or disgruntledgrocerystorebaker-shire please I have but three questions for you:
1. Why are you here? Did someone summon your Magnificent presence or where you mearly called into service by mistake?
2. Would you think me less than a lady if I was to try to fit your entire glorious, squishy, cakeiness into my mouth at once? While you may be the size of my entire head, this only tempts me more.
3. Can we do that now?

Kris said...

Looks like the Wilton Giant Cupcake pan, which the decorator couldn't figure out how to write on. It also doesn't fit in a standard cake box, since it's too tall. It's also rather narrow around the base.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Flumoxed.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Cara said...

I'm a bit grossed out thinking of the ashes in that ashtray getting on the cake. Having said that...have you ever seen someone go pick up a cake from the baker's display case and NOT have said baker write anything on it? Maybe they think, "hey, I can do it with a tube of store bought gel all by myself." But, that doesn't really make any sense here because this cake is obviously some sort of special order...soooo that means that the skillful baker who cracked this one out, also showed off their handwriting skillz, in black. Yeah, that's about right.

Sharon said...

Wreck ball. White tissue paper. Torn pink cardboard. Is that a shoe box? I want to see a receipt.

Amy said...

Did someone drop the ball on this design? Get it? LOL

~Amy B

Anonymous said...

Today is my birthday!

Susie said...

Ooh, ooh, can I lick the frosting off all the tissue paper stuffed around it? Can I, can I?

DangGina said...

I want one.

sendingtheclowns said...

Cara said...
(1) "...that doesn't really make any sense..."

Honey, NONE of it makes any sense.
That's not what they were going for with this.

(2) "...this cake is obviously some sort of special order..."

Yeah! That's so obvious.

(3) "..that means that the skillful baker who cracked this one out, also showed off their handwriting skillz, in black."

Okay--I will agree with you on this one. I see a frat house full of inebriated (and possibly high), sugar-craving party animals who simply wanted to do something SPECIAL for their Bud on his birthday. Why the tissue paper? Why the pink box? (Why the half-of-a-basketball shape?) Who cares? What I want to know is why all the fighting over who gets to open the box (evidenced by the torn cardboard), when no one has even bothered to cut the damn thing yet? STILL admiring the script???
("Dude, get away from the cake--I need more pictures! This is AWEsome!")

wishfulpinking said...

I really wish we knew what it was this person ordered.

"Hello! I'd like a cake."

"Done. Wait...sorry, this is my first day. I feel like I'm supposed to ask for details. Umm. Let's see, here. Well, do you want it to be flat?"

"HA! Good one. Do I want it to be flat. It's funny because it's cake. What other shape could it be?"

"Round?"

"Haha! Oh yeah, make that baby round."

Love your blog! Can't wait for the book!

Trish said...

The pink dots look like pink Smarties to me. Not MUCH of an improvement on pink Mentos, but an imporvement none the less.

My 6 year old son could write Happy Birthday better than this example of penmanship AND I'd bet he'd get all the right grammatical necessities in place, too!

Anonymous said...

How sad. As someone who makes round cakes w/out the help from a Wilton pan, I'm totally disgusted.

Rosie_Kate said...

That's seriously professional??? Wow. Just. Wow. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if one of my cakes turned out that way, but a baker? Amazing.

Heidi 'n' Jeff said...

I think those might be M&M's. I can't believe a professional baker did that. Who put's tissue paper in the cake box? I call shenanigans!

Anonymous said...

I like the way they just ripped the lid off the box... they must have really anxious to get to that cake. Maybe all the smoking gave them the munchies!

Lovely said...

At least he could have given this 'Birlday' ball a nicer colour, don't you think?

Nice thing though that tissues were given with the cake, that saves money!

sarah said...

The ashtrays look more disgusting to me than the cake. But that aint saying much!

Katie Faye said...

Happy Birlhday!

Anonymous said...

I am just glad there is no navel and no baby emerging from this one!

Jessica said...

So much is wrong here.... it makes my head hurt so I am going to stop trying to figure it out now.

laura beth said...

this has really inspired me.. all my life I wanted to own a bakery and I never thought I would be good enough ... seeing that someone got paid for this has made me realize I could do it too... and possibly just as well... I can't wait... Thanks Cake Wrecks for making my dreams come true


rainbows and sunshine


oh and flowers too

Olson said...

There are no less than 3 ashtrays on that table. Let's face it...none of these people can actually taste anything anyway, so it doesn't matter what the pink things on the cake are.
I had trouble concentrating on the cake because the whole atmosphere around it was so......ewwww.

Perchik said...

Judging by the ashtrays, I know exactly what this cake was supposed to be:

It's a bowling ball! The pink circles were supposed to be finger holes (fail).



I think this cake stems from a simple misunderstanding. "Do you want a square cake?- No, I want it round."

Glitter-Bug said...

*blinks*
......

......

*blinks*

My 5 year old could decorate a cake better. o.O

maijapapaija said...

I gotz it!

Happy birlday -> Happy b-IRL-day!

It's obviously a cake for a an internet junkie who is off for one day of RL, as a generous and well-meaning gesture from his/her fellow nerds. See? At least the inscription makes perfect sense now.

Trixie said...

I'm thinking tumor.

Judy said...

First of all professional just means they charged money for it. That's all. And as for the tissue paper. Did they seriously think that was going to keep the cake from being ruined?

Gawrsh!Hyuck! if we just put this this tissue type paper in the box then all that icing and stuff will be right dern safe, Hyuck!

drgns4vr said...

I like the little tissue paper nest, but it looks like there is a chunk of styrofoam on the lower left side. To hold the cake up? To indicate cake flavor? To indicate cake texture? To add more mystery to the whyness of this cake?

WV: Joyinnor--there was no joyinnor happiness at this party; the cake rolled away.

Mary said...

Did the creator think the super-long Y tails would jazz it up?
"They won't notice this is actually paper mache! Everyone will think it's too breathtaking to devour!"

Yes... breathtaking...

Dodi said...

a crowning baby's head would just about complete this experience.

bigSIS said...

I have to remember to never, ever, ever put pictures of my cake where you could ever, ever find them. I have some winners but there are few, a few that make this one look lovely. Hahahahaha.

Anonymous said...

It's EPCOT, people! Big round white golf ball thingy, you know - EPCOT!

Jamie said...

This is astounding. There's so many things that are magical about the surrounding area (ashtrays, random hand in the top left, torn box) that the cake has to really work to not get lost in the clutter. Luckily it's, um, unique enough to stand out.

Missy Carvin said...

OK, apparently, we've all missed the great cultural signifigance of this cake. It's not a half-basketball nor is it an aborted attempt at a boob cake. It's OBVIOUSLY a celebration of the great 5th grade igloo-building project. You know, with sugar cubes and stuff. And that's not tissue paper surrounding the cake. It's powdered sugar mounds, representing the 4 entrances of the um, igloo, and the er, 4 elements of earth and wind and...

Not buying it? Me neither. It just seemed a little less sad than a boob-shaped birlday cake.

StuffCooksWant said...

Check out the smokes...must be a bowling ball! They could have used the pink dot things to make the finger holes....

Scritzy said...

Maybe you're supposed to look into it and see your future.

Melissa (& Billy) said...

A bombe that is a bomb? XD

Tarra Slovan said...

I so wish I had your focus. Lots of those cakes look YUMMY.

smiles :) said...

Jenn, I L.O.V.E. this blog- whenever I get frustrated or stressed about something, I click on your page and voila- I feel so much better! :) Even when I start out in a good mood, seeing atrocious cakes makes me even happier! You rock! ;) Keep it up!

~Serena :)

Anonymous said...

Wow. It could be a big ball of happiness... but maybe it should hold a cleaning fairy. Those ashtrays are gross! Cake no longer appealing!

jess said...

i read you every day and today happened to be my birthday... it was like you and your happy birlday ball-cake was talking to me! :)

Anonymous said...

Maybe it'll hatch and a happy Birl will pop out?

Gotta get me one of those happy Birls.

Sharon said...

Upon returning to read comments and looking at it again, it makes me crave a Hostess Sno-ball.

Hyena Overlord said...

mmmm pink smarties

Anonymous said...

At least it's not a pregnant lady's stomach.... *shiver up spine*.

Anonymous said...

When I see this, I think it's a gag cake... you know, one of those ones with the balloon in the middle of it, and covered over with whipped creme so that when the birthday boy goes to cut the cake, the knife hits the balloon and it explodes and puts icing all over him.

Jennifer Foster said...

Ha ha ha ha ha.... are those really "camels" in the background? Oh that's *classy*....

Anonymous said...

Do you think they have enough ashtrays?

vivaELvino said...

Lol- I made a cake for my son that looked kinda' like that when he was 8 and in the throws of Pokemon fever. He wanted a Pokeball cake. I baked it in two parts in a steel mixing bowl and put the two halves together. As I recall he wanted green frosting. I skipped the writing, and it was a crazy mess (sans cigarettes) but it made him happy. Sorry I don't have a wrecky photo to share.

Anonymous said...

how did you do it>>?? The Society to Save Endangered Species was formed by Fred Smilek and two of his colleagues; Charlie Mack & Jonathan Korny. Fred Smilek stays active in raising awareness for this cause. [www.fredjsmilek.com]

Anonymous said...

http://www.wired.com/images/article/magazine/1512/1512_essay_moon_f.jpg

inspired from maybe?

verybluejenny said...

it's the wilton cupcake pan gone very wrong. i don't know why it's surrounded by tissue paper though. maybe they hid more camels in the cake box as a "surprise gift".

Casey said...

What do you do when you show up at the bakery and the cake looks like this? Demand a refund and return home with cake? No cake isn't really an option...

Anyway. If you do have a bad luck story involving a cake, enter it at YourFatChance.com for a chance to win a free vacation. I entered, but I can't win since I work there... but wish I could. Who wouldn't want a free 1 week vacation?!